The Life and Times of Merlin
by Minn-Mani
Summary: On a group outing, the knights, Merlin, Gwen, Gaius and the three Pendragons are held hostage by a band on renegade druids. They want to know why Merlin is so completely loyal to Camelot, so everyone gathers round to watch her memories. They learn a lot more about their friend than they thought there was to know. Fem!Merlin revealfic! S3 AU. Merther, Gwen/Lancelot
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! So this is an AU of the season 3 finale. Morgana has plead enchantment because of her actions with Morguose, but she is still very much evil. Uther is not catatonic, the kingdom is not being ruled by Arthur, and all the boys are still knights. Enjoy!**

**I do not own Merlin. I wish I did, but alas…**

**~0~**

It was just a normal day in the kingdom of Camelot when it happened.

Actually, no. It was not a normal day. Camelot was at peace, for once. No one was attacking with their immortal armies, no sorcerers have attempted to kill Arthur, or Uther yet; everything was relatively calm in the castle (besides the usual hustle and bustle that came with running a castle smoothly, of course).

It was rather disconcerting, and no matter how many chores Arthur piled onto his maidservant, it was making Merlin rather restless.

So, at breakfast, when the King decided to plan for an impromptu picnic for lunch with his son and his beloved ward, ("We haven't had a chance to catch up for what seems like _ages_.") Merlin was ecstatic. Arthur left to gather his knights while Merlin and Gwen went to make the preparations, since they were to accompany their respective master and mistress (because obviously, the nobles wouldn't be able to unpack a basket of food for themselves and get their hands dirty. Merlin suspected Arthur only wanted her there so he and the knights could tease her). She was also requested to extend the invitation to Gaius, who happily accepted. Soon everything was packed and they set off to a secluded area in the woods.

The king and Gaius led their rather large group, Arthur, Leon and Morgana behind them, the rest of the knights behind them, and the serving girls bringing up the rear. They girls were idly chatting when Merlin noticed Lancelot glancing over his shoulder- at Gwen. For the fifth time in two minutes. Gwen glanced up at him as well and blushed, looking away quickly. Just as she had the past four times it's happened.

Merlin smirked slightly and leaned in closer to her friend. "I do believe our friend the knight is besotted with you, Gwen dear." She laughed when Gwen started sputtering more than usual and blushed fiercely.

"What? I-no, no- I don't-"

"Gwen, it's okay. Honestly, you two are perfect for each other! I don't know why he hasn't asked to court you yet." At this a forlorn expression crossed Gwen's face and she sighed softly.

"He doesn't want to upset the king," she said. "You know what happened to the last knight that started courting a serving girl. Gregory nearly lost his title, and the girl her life."

Merlin frowned at the memory (Gregory and Anna were friends of hers) and shook her head slightly. "But you're a Lady now, by default at least." And it was true. When Arthur knighted Elyan, the nobility status automatically extended to Guinevere as well, seeing as how she was his only remaining family. Of course, Uther had been livid when he found out his son had knighted not only peasants (Merlin had to suppress a smirk, seeing as how Gwaine was actually a noble), but two men who were banished from Camelot. But Arthur fought tooth and nail in defense of his new men, constantly repeating their worth and how many times they saved his life (though that last part was admittedly a little exaggerated), and finally the king had consented.

Gwen shook her head and glanced at Lancelot- again. "It doesn't matter. Since I decided to keep to my duties as a maidservant for Morgana," Merlin tried to keep her cringe under wraps at the witch's name, "he still sees me, and treats me, like a servant. He doesn't care that I technically have a title now."

Merlin sighed sadly and grabbed her friend's hand in comfort. It angered her greatly that her two best friends -who obviously loved each other- could not be together. It didn't help the Uther would look at Lancelot with barely concealed contempt because of his ex-peasant status. The same went for the rest of the knights with them, besides Sir Leon. So the only thing the two lovers could do was gaze longingly at each other and pine from afar. It wasn't right, nor was it fair, but there was nothing she could do for either of them unfortunately.

She was pulled out of her thoughts, however, when an apple hit her in the head.

Merlin snapped her head up and glared at the knights. "Who threw that at me?" All of the knights were suspiciously quiet (if she was a bit more observant, she would have noticed that the king had also ceased his conversation with her uncle to listen in), but Merlin could see Gwaine's shoulders shaking with silent laughter. She narrowed her eyes at the knight and threw the apple right back at him, aiming for the back of his head.

Unfortunately, he chose that moment to move, and the apple sailed over his head. And hit Arthur. _Shit._

"Merlin!"

Merlin pointed at Gwaine frantically. "I was aiming for him!" she insisted. Arthur glared and threw the apple at her, hitting her in the stomach hard enough to knock the wind out of her for a moment.

"You attempted to injure a knight, but instead hit the Crown Prince. I could have you in the stocks for that." At Arthur's typically pompous reply, Merlin rolled her eyes and fixed him with a glare of her own.

"You know, I don't think it's healthy for someone to be so prattish all the time. You might need to get the checked out, sire." Distantly, she could hear Gwaine chuckling under his breath, but now the silence was tense with the others. Neither she nor Arthur paid attention to it though. "I'm serious, that's not a good attitude to have. Especially if you want your knights and the people of Camelot to rally behind you. You'll be known as 'Arthur, the Prat Prince of Camelot', and while it may be fitting, I don't really think that you'd want your name to go down in history with that atrocity tacked on the end of it."

Gwaine was outright laughing now, and the knights couldn't hold in their own snickers-though it wasn't from lack of trying. Percival and Leon especially sounded a bit like they were choking on a tough piece of meat. Gaius, while glaring at his niece for taunting the prince with the _king _present, could have sworn he had seen a slight upward twitch of Uther's lips. But he could have been imagining it, it disappeared practically the second it appeared.

They were brought back to the scene before them with Arthur's voice. "Merlin, I've been thinking-"

"Careful, sire, I wouldn't want you to injure yourself."

"Shut up Merlin." Arthur scowled at his maidservant, but everyone could tell he didn't really mean it. "As I was saying, I've been thinking that my stables could use a good mucking, and my armor needs polishing, and I do believe the knights need their boots cleaned."

Merlin groaned in reply. "But Arthur…" Arthur rolled his eyes good naturedly and flashed his maidservant a grin (and her heart did not skip a beat or two, no, absolutely not).

"Don't be such a girl Merlin. Besides, you could do with some muscle." His grin morphed into a smirk at her narrow-eyed look. She turned helplessly to Gwen, who only gave her a sympathetic pat on the knee. Turning to the rest of the knights proved to be fruitless as well, as they all gave her winks of encouragement or amused little shrugs. Merlin grumbled for a moment, (something along the lines of "Stupid, useless excuses for friends…the stables aren't even _my job_…dollophead…") before she donned a mischievous smile that everyone present knew well. Lancelot was immediately wary and shook his head at his small friend.

"Merlin, whatever you're thinking, stop-"

Merlin however paid him no attention and rode up to her master. While studiously ignoring Morgana's attempts of glaring a hole in the side of her head, Merlin smiled sweetly at Arthur.

"Alright Arthur, I'll do the chores." She had to fight to hold in her giggles at Arthur incredulous expression.

"Really?"

"Really. That is, if you can catch me first." With that she tossed the apple at the flabbergasted Prince and dug her heels into her mare's sides, shooting away from the rest of their party. She could hear Gaius calling her name, and the pounding of hooves behind her. She turned to see Arthur right at her back, slowly but surely drawing up level to her own steed. He turned to her and smiled, the first genuine smile Merlin had seen in a long while. It was full of joy and challenge and it made her unreasonably happy to see how the expression lit up his face. Soon they were both laughing, and racing in earnest.

They ran side by side for a few moments before Arthur started pulling ahead. Well that just wouldn't do at all. Merlin spurred her horse to go faster, but she could feel her growing tired. With a little burst of magic, her horse regained a bit of energy and pulled completely ahead of the prince. She glanced over her shoulder and laughed again at the aghast look on Arthur's face. "Keep up sire!"

Merlin saw his eyes widen, could see his lips moving as he stared past her, but she was too far away from him and couldn't hear what he said over the pounding of her own horse's hooves on the earth. She turned back to the front and gasped, yanking hard on the reins to slow down her horse before she completely ran over the three people standing _in the middle of the freaking road._ Then, she found she didn't need to worry about hitting them.

The small woman in the middle raised her hand and her eyes flashed yellow, and Merlin felt herself being lifted from her saddle. Before she could even attempt to defend herself, she was slammed headfirst into the dirt and everything went black.

**~0~**

Uther was the next to fall.

One of the men took him off his horse, the same way they had Merlin, and knocked him out. Arthur watched helplessly as his knights, Guinevere, Morgana and Gaius all slipped into unconsciousness. He himself was being held by the sorceress' magic. He hadn't lost consciousness yet, though the black spots dancing across his vision got bigger with every blink of his eyes or turn of his head. Soon they got so large that they were almost obscuring his vision of his maidservant. Valiantly, Arthur tried to fight against it but there was no use. _"I shouldn't have made her come," _he thought, before darkness claimed another victim.

When Arthur woke next, it was to a face full of Sir Gwaine's hair.

Arthur sputtered and the hair was immediately removed, only to be replaced by the knight himself. "Rise and shine Princess," he said with an anxious smile. "Now's not the time to be napping." Arthur glared at his knight in confusion -usually Merlin was the one that attended to him- before everything came rushing back to him. The plans for a picnic. Merlin laughing with him. The sorcerers in the road. Merlin falling. His father, falling. _Merlin._

"Where is she?" Arthur sat up slowly and glanced around the room-well, cell was more like it. His father was standing with Morgana and Gaius in one corner of the rather large but dank cell, the knights were all standing at the bars of the door trying to test its strength, and Elyan was sitting with Gwen leaning her head wound. But Merlin wasn't there.

Arthur turned back to Gwaine, about to open his mouth to ask again, when he heard the knights scuttle away from the bars. A man stood on the other side (one of the ones from the road, Arthur's head helpfully supplied) and looked over everyone.

"Ah good, you're all awake. Now we can proceed." The sorcerers' voice was deep and slurred slightly, as though he'd been drinking. He was at least a head taller than all of the men in the cell and his hands were large enough to wrap around your neck and still have his fingers touch. Muscles practically exploded off of the man's arms, and his eyes were a dull brown color, like dirt. He held himself lightly on his feet and in a predatory stance. He was the strongest man in the room, with his combined strength and magic, and he knew it (Percival did not look happy about this fact at all).

Arthur watched silently as his father marched up to the cell door. "You insolent fool! I demand you release us at once!"

The sorcerer just scoffed. "What, so you can try to run me through? Or escape? Yeah, not gonna happen." Uther's eyes narrowed hatefully at the man across from him, but the sound of a door opening above them cut off any response he was going to make.

"Oi, Matai! She wants 'em up here! The girly's startin' ta wake!"

Arthur tensed at the statement and glared at their captor. "He means Merlin, doesn't he? You have her up there." When the man -Matai- merely nodded, Arthur stood and stalked to his father's side. "If you hurt her-"

"No harm has come to your serving girl," Matai interrupted. His eyes flashed gold and the door to the cell swung open. "And no harm will come, so long as you do what you're told. Now, come along. It's about to start." After a tense moment of silence, Arthur stepped out of the cell behind Matai, and the others slowly followed their prince.

Arthur took note of every turn they made and what corridors they were met with. Soon, they were standing in front of a set of large wooden doors. Matai turned and smiled at the small crowd of captives behind him. Arthur had to resist the urge to punch him.

"This is the throne room. In case you hadn't noticed, we are in the abandoned castle of King Cadal-" Arthur couldn't help but scoff, and he leveled a glare at the sorcerer.

"Cadal? He was a king you say? And how is it that I've never heard of this man?"

Matai raised a single eyebrow at the prince (an uncanny resemblance of Gaius). He appraised him as one would a rat they found eating their dinner. "Cadal was a sorcerer, and a great man-"

"Magic is vile, and corrupts the minds of those that practice it." His father pushed his way through the group to stand by Arthur and was practically foaming at the mouth. Arthur glanced behind him at everyone and thought he saw Lancelot grimace.

"Power of any kind can corrupt any man, Uther Pendragon. You of all should know this." Matai turned from them and opened the great doors. He let them pass and Arthur froze, feeling his knights do the same.

"Merlin." Gaius spoke the name of his niece almost as a whisper. For there, in the middle of the throne room and hanging from a pair of thick chains, was the limp and unmoving form of Arthur's maidservant.

And Arthur saw red.

He and the knights all leapt forward as one towards their friend, but fell up short as they ran into a wall. Literally.

Gwaine put his hand flat on the invisible barrier between him and Merlin and snapped. "Merlin!" he screamed. "Merlin, wake up! MERLIN!" Both he and Lancelot started hitting the barrier with vigor, the Percival and Elyan soon following suit. Arthur, however, turned to Matai.

"What did you do to her," he demanded. "Let her go at once!" Matai simply shook his head and waved a hand towards the crowd gathered in front of him (Gwen and Gaius had joined the knights in trying to break the barrier. Arthur was slightly surprised that Morgana wasn't up there, he had thought she and Merlin were friends). The group was all dragged from the wall and their hands were bound behind them.

"Quiet, little prince." Arthur bristled at the name. "She is merely unconscious. She will wake soon enough."

"Why her?" All eyes turned to Morgana, who was staring straight at Merlin with a somewhat blank expression on her face. "Why is she strung up, and not me? Or Arthur, or the king? What makes her so special?" The last word she practically spat out, though no one really noticed except Arthur, Gwen and Gaius. The ones that knew her the best. Gwen flinched slightly at her tone, and turned to a hard-eyed Gaius with a slightly heart-broken expression; Arthur was surprised to say the least. He had noticed the somewhat frosty way Merlin and Morgana seemed to regard one another lately. _'They must have had a falling out,' _he reasoned, though he was a bit worried by the hatred he saw flash in Morgana's eyes.

Uther nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, yes, you have the serving girl. Now release us." Arthur tensed at his statement. He was absolutely _not _leaving this place without Merlin at his side, and guessing from the sudden growls coming from the side of him where the knights were, they had come to the same decision as him.

Matai stared intently at Uther for a moment, before shaking his head ruefully. "You truly have no idea, do you?" He chuckled lowly at the bewilderment on the king's face.

Uther demanded, "Know what?"

"Everything this serving girl has done for you and for Camelot." He moved his now slightly unnerving gaze to Arthur, who fought to not squirm. "For all of you." Matai glanced back at merlin's prone form. "Not even we know all of her deeds, though we have seen a few. We do not know why she does it, either. And that is why we are here."

As if on cue, Merlin twitched and her chains clinked together. Arthur turned so fast his neck let out a loud crack, but he didn't even register the slight sting of pain as he saw Merlin's eyes flutter open.

"Ugh. Did Gwaine drag me out to the tavern again?" Merlin's voice cracked slightly from lack of use, but it was still definitely Merlin's voice, and Arthur slumped in relief.

Gaius kicked Gwaine's ankle in admonishment. "Again? Really, Gwaine?" Arthur relished in the color that came into the knight's cheeks in the face of Gaius' disapproving gaze, but he quickly turned back to face his maidservant. She tried to move her arms, but the chains held her up.

"What-Arthur." Merlin's head snapped up suddenly, her eyes were wide and filled with terror. "Arthur? Where are you? ARTHUR!" Merlin frantically looked around the throne room, as if hoping to catch a glimpse of her prince and the rest of her friends, struggling in her chains. Arthur was extremely confused.

"She cannot see nor hear you, but we can her." Matai answered all of their unasked questions. Arthur was still trying to figure out why they wanted Merlin specifically when Merlin suddenly stopped moving again. She took a few deep breaths before she started speaking to herself.

"Alright, calm down. Think. Why did they separate us?" Merlin looked slowly around this room, taking in all of the tiny cracks and holes in the walls and ceiling with a calculating look Arthur had rarely seen in her eyes. She seemed to be debating with herself for a moment before her eyes widened a bit. "Me," she breathed out. "They want me."

"Well done." Heads turned at the sound of a new voice. "You've figured it out." A small woman stepped out from behind a pillar and stood to the right of Merlin. Her bright red hair was slightly obnoxious, and hung in tight coils down her back. Deep brown eyes adorned her freckled face, and the green gown she wore was obviously of a fairly fine quality. She smirked slightly at Merlin's cold expression and it made Arthur's skin crawl.

Merlin apparently felt the same because she squirmed away from the woman. "Where are they?" Merlin's eyes narrowed as the woman's smirk grew.

"Your friends are safe in our dungeons." The woman waved a hand and an image of the unconscious party was showed to Merlin. She relaxed slightly (even if Arthur didn't. They were all awake, these sorcerers wanted Merlin and she couldn't see or hear him, _how they hell can she relax even a little?_) Merlin turned back to the woman once the image disappeared and glared at her.

"Great, you have me now. Let them all go. They are of no use to you."

The sorceress laughed and tutted at Merlin. "Why, of course they are of value to me. They are your party, among them the king and the prince of Camelot. I need them as leverage, you see. You'd never tell us what we wanted to know if you thought they were all safe in their pretty little palace. Besides," she stood completely in front of Merlin now. "We haven't even been introduced. My name is Deidre."

"What, exactly, do you want with me Deidre?" Scorn practically dripped from Merlin's tone and Arthur smiled slightly. She could hold her own in a battle of will, he'd have to give her that. Deidre didn't seem affected by it though, and her smirk grew into a slightly maniacal grin.

"I want to know why." Merlin simply stared at the sorceress with an aggravated expression. "I want to know why the Pendragons have your loyalty. You are nothing but a serving girl, yet you guard them all with your life, and you never seek recognition. Why is that?"

Merlin groaned and dropped her head. "I'm getting a bit tired of everyone asking me the same questions. First Nimueh," Uther's gasp was audible and he stared at Merlin in shock, "then Sigan, Morguose and now you? It's getting old." Deidre seemed confused, and Merlin rolled her eyes at her. "Deidre, this isn't my first kidnapping, nor is it my first confrontation with a powerful magic user, and it most certainly won't be my last. I'm rather used to it all now."

The group stilled at this statement. Not her first kidnapping? When had she been kidnapped? _'Why did I not know she had been kidnapped?' _His thoughts were brought to a halt at Deidre's voice.

"Regardless, I require answers-"

Merlin laughed wryly at the woman and shook her head. "I hope you don't think you're going to torture it out of me, because many have tried, and none have succeeded."

Arthur felt all of the air rush out of his lungs and heard the sharp intakes of breath from behind him. Torture? Merlin, tortured? Multiple times…Arthur's mind shut down. He couldn't imagine Merlin being kidnapped _and _tortured without him noticing. He would have known.

Wouldn't he?

He could see the look of astonishment on his father's face, and the dawning horror on the knights and Gwen. Gwaine turned accusing eyes on Arthur, as if this was all somehow his fault, and Gaius just looked heartbroken. Even Deidre looked a bit sick at the thought. "Oh gods no. No, too messy." With that, Deidre muttered a spell and Merlin toppled to the ground, her hands unbound.

Merlin landed harshly on the floor and glared contemptuously at the sorceress while rubbing her wrists. She stood and back slowly towards the door, only to be stopped by the invisible barrier. She turned towards them and lightly laid her hand on the wall, as if testing it was actually there. She was literally inches from Arthur, and all he wanted to do was snatch her up and take her far away from this place (he was far past the point of denying these feelings for Merlin, especially now). But he couldn't move, and she couldn't see him and he hated it.

"You cannot get through." At the sound of Deidre's voice, Merlin's usually bright blue eyes turned frigid, like the frost that covered the streets of Camelot in the winter. Arthur was slightly surprised that the room hadn't indeed been icing over from the sheer force of her glare. "You only have one way to leave, and that will be presented when we are finished in here."

Merlin turned to face Deidre once more. "Or I could kill you where you stand and the barrier would drop." Merlin's tone was even colder than her eyes, layered with anger and warning and Arthur's instincts reared with a passion, screaming '_Danger, Danger, RUN NOW!' _It was unnerving to see his usually bubbly maidservant like this -hostile, and threatening, and willing to kill. She was usually the epitome of happiness and generosity, always helping others when they needed it and able to make even the most battle-hardened warriors smile. She was not this –whatever this was.

Deidre however was nonplussed. "You could, or it could stay and you and your friends would be trapped here forever. Or killed." A muscle in Merlin's jaw jumped and she exhaled sharply.

"Fine. How do you plan to extract this information from me then?" Deidre smiled, knowing she had won.

"It's simple, really. All I need from you is one thing."

"And what's that?" Merlin's eyes narrowed in suspicion when Deidre stepped closer to her, positively beaming. The discomfort was practically rolling off the group watching as well, besides Matai. Whatever was going to happen, no one was going to like it.

They were right.

Deidre drew an amulet from the folds of her dress and held it in front of Merlin. "Your memories."

**~0~**

**Hope you liked it! Please review, the next chapter should be up soon (hopefully).**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! To saroura92, I know I haven't explained Deidre's and Matai's reasons for capturing Merlin yet, but all will be explained in this next chapter. Enjoy! **

**I do not own Merlin, no copyright infringement intended!**

**~0~**

"Okay."

Deidre looked rather shocked by her answer, and she was unknowingly mirroring her captive's faces behind the barrier. Merlin was reluctantly amused by her expression though-she looked like a fish out of water. "Okay?" she asked. Merlin shrugged.

"Yeah. You wouldn't believe me if I told you what I've done or why I've done it. The only way you would understand is if you saw it for yourself, and if this gets me and my friends out of here and safe in Camelot, then I'll do it, because it's obvious that you won't kill us-"

"I could kill you all-" Deidre interrupted indignantly.

"Yes, yes you could." Merlin looked at Deidre closely, and shook her head. "But you won't."

Deidre looked curiously at Merlin, as if searching her for something. "And how are you so sure about this?" she asked lightly. Merlin chuckled ruefully.

"I told you Deidre, this isn't my first kidnapping. If you seriously wanted us dead, you would have killed everyone I was with the instant you saw them and forcefully taken my memories to suit your needs. Or you would have strung them up next to me as to further persuade me into doing your bidding." Deidre looked mildly shocked at the very sound-if a bit disturbing-logic. Merlin simply shrugged again. "It's really rather simple. Although, what I don't understand is why you care so much about my memories. Or my loyalty to Camelot for that matter."

The sorceress shook her head at the servant. "You wouldn't understand."

Merlin scoffed. "Try me," she said.

Deidre smiled indulgently at Merlin (she had to resist to smack the look off the red head's face). "We do this because we want to know why the Pendragons have earned your loyalty-"

"Yes, yes I got that, but why _me_, specifically? I get you-as a magic user-have a personal vendetta against Camelot and Uther in general, really, I do-"

"No you _DON'T _understand!" Merlin jumped a little at the fierceness in Deidre's voice. "Uther inspires hate and fear everywhere he goes. My kind have been persecuted by his so-called 'Fair and Just King', we have been hunted and hanged and burned at his hand. Thousands of innocents, whether they had magic or not, have been killed. And yet you follow him." At this Deidre turned and sneered slightly at Merlin, who was now intently studying her boots to hide the knowing look in her eyes. Deidre sighed slightly. "I wouldn't expect you to understand. You're loyal to your king, Uther probably has you wrapped around his finger-"

"You're right." Deidre's head snapped up to stare incredulously at Merlin. "You are absolutely right, on all accounts but one. Uther is not my King." At this the incredulity turned slightly condescending, and Merlin felt a stirring of anger in her chest. "He never has been."

"But you protect him-"

"I protect Uther because he is Arthur's father. I protect him because while Arthur is a good man and a great prince to his people he is not yet ready to be king." Merlin gazed steadily back at the shocked sorceress. "Uther may wear the crown, and he may rule Camelot, but he is not my King. My loyalties do not lie with him. They lie with Arthur, because he is the true King of Camelot."

The two women stared at each other for a few silent moments, while the ones behind the invisible wall were sitting in their own stunned silence. Uther was having a hard time keeping his anger in check at the sorceress' words, while simultaneously marveling at the maid's simple faith in his son. He had seen the two together, and was surprised by their interactions with one another. Merlin was brash, and rude and was not afraid to call his son out for being…not as noble as he could be (he believed the word she used often when describing Arthur was "prat"). Even Uther could see how much his son had changed, not only as a person but with his people; the king could see very clearly how much the all of the people of Camelot-noble and common alike-loved and respected their prince. Since Merlin had become his maidservant, Arthur had shown more compassion and respect for the citizens of the kingdom. And he could tell how much his son cared for Merlin. While he may complain about her incompetence on the daily, Uther knew that Arthur truly cared what the servant thought of him. He cared what she thought about his actions, and how they would affect the kingdom. Many decisions that Arthur has made over the years were so very uncharacteristic of him (or at least in the beginning), that Uther was positive Merlin had a hand in it.

He couldn't for the life of him, however, find it in his heart to confront his son about it. Or the servant for that matter. Uther could see how much it benefitted his kingdom, so he never saw reason to worry over it.

The people seemed rather fond of her as well, now that Uther really thought about it. The king once oversaw one of Arthur's training sessions with his knights two years ago, and he could see Merlin leaning against the weapons table watching. The four knights that weren't training were all sitting around Merlin, laughing at something that she had said. At first Uther simply shrugged it off as the girl trying to up her social status by landing in one of the knights' beds. He didn't think anything of it, until one of the newer knights-Sir Ulfric, his mind helpfully supplied- laid a hand on Merlin's thigh. The girl froze, staring at the hand as if it was a rat she found eating her food, and pushed the appendage off of her leg. Ulfric did not take too kindly to this, so he grabbed her arm and roughly pulled the girl against his chest and she cried out in shocked pain.

All hell broke loose.

The other three men shouted and pulled Ulfric's hand off of Merlin's arm. There were words spoken, none that Uther heard, and suddenly Ulfric was on the ground. Two of the men held him down while the third held onto Merlin, then passed her off to Sir Leon when he and Arthur ran over to investigate. Leon seemed to immediately grasp the situation and simply folded the shell-shocked maidservant against his chest and walked her towards the crowd of knights in the middle of the field. One of the men handed her a flask of water while Arthur was having a conversation with Ulfric a few feet away. Uther couldn't even begin to guess what his son had said to the man, but judging by the absolute terror on Ulfric's face, it wasn't anything good. Soon, Arthur spun away from the frozen knight and quickly made his way to his maidservant. From the window of the council room, Uther could see Merlin visibly relax when Arthur was near, and how Arthur immediately was checking her for injury. Multiple servants were also looking on with worry, and glaring at Sir Ulfric. Uther could see some of them whispering to one another, and smirking evilly. The king would never admit it, but he felt slightly frightened at the sheer maliciousness in the peasants' eyes.

A week after that incident, Ulfric sent word that he was returning to his home in Nemeth. When Uther asked why, the knight simply replied that he was no longer welcome to the city, and left before Uther could ask any more questions.

It was curious, he thought, how one girl could inspire so much loyalty, and not just from the people of her own status, but from those of a higher level as well. Even the usually frigid librarian Geoffrey would smile warmly at her in council meetings, or in the passages of the castle. She would have made a wonderful Queen. '_It's a shame, though, _he thought, _that she isn't of noble blood.'_

After a moment of silence, Merlin tilted her head slightly, posing a rather startling resemblance to the very bird she is named for. "Where do your loyalties lie, Deidre? If not with Uther or Camelot, with whom do you do this in the name of?" Deidre sighed and relaxed her tense stance, suddenly looking tired. A soft smile played on the sorceress' lips before she answered.

"My loyalties lie with Emrys, our salvation, and our High Priestess, our queen-" Deidre was cut off by a choking sound coming from her captive. Soon, however, the sound turned to laughter as Merlin sat clutching her stomach. Deidre's face of bewilderment simply made Merlin laugh harder.

_'Oh my Gods, this is really happening,' _Merlin thought. This woman that was about to interrogate her and steal her memories was doing so _in her own name_. It was all irrationally hilarious to the witch, though she wondered why Deidre didn't sense the rather powerful magical aura that many had confessed to feeling when near her. It was rather humbling to hear herself described as such, though. A salvation and a queen. _'Is that really how people view me?' _Just as she was finally calming down, the last part of Deidre's claim clicked. "Wait, queen?" Merlin sat up and stared at the sorceress in shock. "I thought the Old Religion didn't have kings or queens," she said, though she refused to acknowledge the slight tremor in her voice.

Deidre seemed to be choosing her words carefully. "Emrys is the most powerful magical being in the world. From what has been described by the Druids," here her voice was lit with a bit of uncertainty, as if trying to convince herself of this as well, "Emrys is not like any other magic user. He, or she, is the very essence of magic; they are as much a creature of the Old Religion as a dragon or a pixie." Merlin tried hard not to smirk at those words-she was remembering a certain over-grown lizard saying the exact same thing to her once. She was still a bit confused, however.

"And she would be considered Queen?" Merlin winced and hurried to continue, "If Emrys was even a she."

"No, no. That position is for the High Priestess." Merlin was still hopelessly lost, and Deidre seemed to realize that, so she continued. "There are many Priestesses of the Old Religion. Girls are often trained from birth to learn the complicated magics that they perform, but only one will become the High Priestess. The High Priestess is the most powerful of them. She holds the power over Life and Death itself, along with many other unnamed powers. The High Priestess is the magical community's closest thing to a queen, and if Emrys were male, he would be considered King."

Merlin's thoughts were going into overdrive. _'I am considered…Queen? Not only Queen, but King as well?!' _She struggled to maintain an expression of slight interest and indifference, but her emotions were raging inside of her-mainly disbelief, shock, a bit of anger and a horrible sense of unworthiness. _'I am not fit to be Queen!' _was the main thought on repeat in her head at the moment. Resolutely she shoved the thoughts into a corner and faced the present situation. She would have to deal with this new revelation at a later time, but now she needed to get this over and done with.

Merlin got to her feet and clapped once. "So," she said brightly, "shall we get started then?" Deidre seemed amused by her antics and nodded, then held up the medallion in her hands.

"This will absorb your memories, then allow for us to see them. We will essentially be walking through your life, but we will be like shadow-nothing we say or do will register to anyone in your memory, and we cannot change anything that happens." Merlin nodded her understanding and Deidre placed it around the witch's neck. The bright golden color stood out greatly against Merlin's dark blue tunic, and it rested just under her bust. A dark red stone stood in the center of the necklace and the surrounding area was covered in runes that Merlin didn't have the time or patience to decipher at the moment. Deidre waved her hand and a cot was pulled out from a corner of the room and hit the backs of Merlin's knees. The witch sat on it and gave Deidre a "What now?" look, and the sorceress smiled slightly.

"Now," Deidre continued. "While we watch, you will be unconscious. You won't wake until all of your memories have been watched. If there are certain points of intense emotion, we may be able to hear your particular thoughts at the moment." Merlin snorted at that, her entire life has been one long instance of intense emotion. She couldn't help but narrow her eyes a bit suspiciously at Deidre though, and the sorceress chuckled a bit. "Don't worry, the medallion will immediately transfer your memories back once all has been seen. Any questions?"

"Yeah, one." Merlin clenched her fists in the bedding of the mattress and glared slightly at Deidre. "You kept saying 'we'. Who, exactly, will be watching all of my immensely personal memories and hearing my thoughts?" she asked. Deidre smiled widely, and Merlin was immediately wary.

"Why, your friends of course." Merlin sucked in a shocked breath and turned to look behind Deidre, where the company of people she traveled with suddenly appeared. She could feel her face drain of all blood as she locked eyes with the bound Prince of Camelot. She was aware of Lancelot and Gaius protesting and struggling against their bonds, and Gwaine slowly starting to as well-probably seeing the panic on all three of their faces-and of Arthur's increasingly confused gaze as it flit from his knights to herself. Merlin turned frantically back to Deidre with wide eyes.

"Deidre, no, no you cannot do this." As she started to rise, Deidre's eyes flashed and Merlin was suddenly pushed back onto the cot, magically restrained. She started struggling and met Deidre's eyes with a pleading and teary gaze. "Please, you don't understand, you cannot do this!" Her voice was shaking and high pitched in her panic and everyone was reacting to it. Merlin could see even Morgana looked slightly perturbed by this change of events, and she didn't dare look at Uther.

Deidre, however, ignored her and started chanting. _"__Oscail dom. Luaidhe liom trí an aigne an duine seo . Lig dom a fheiceáil cad a bhfuil na súile le feiceáil ." _Almost immediately, Merlin's struggling lessened and a heaviness she hadn't anticipated came over her body, as if someone was sapping the energy from her limbs. Her head grew a bit fuzzy, and she faintly caught Deidre's eyes glowing a bright yellow and the medallion's heat against her chest before she caught Arthur's eyes again. His blue eyes were blazing and he was struggling against his bonds as well, calling out her name.

"Arthur," she whispered, and knew it carried when the knights stopped moving. "Please…don't hate me." Merlin heard Gaius' chocked sob and Lancelot's harsh breath, but she kept her eyes on her Prince, who simply looked confused and more than a little terrified, and for the second time that day darkness rushed to meet her.

**~0~**

Arthur was shocked, to say the least, at Merlin's last request. _'Don't hate me?' _he thought. _'What the hell does that mean? How could I ever hate her?' _He had little time to think on it, however, before the room started spinning. Arthur looked around at his company and saw many of them looked anxiously at Merlin and at himself-Gwaine looked ready to kill someone-and the room spun faster, faster, _faster-_

Suddenly everything stopped. Arthur slowly opened his eyes (when had they closed?) and looked at his surroundings. His hands were unbound so he slowly pushed himself up and looked at the small village in shock. _'How-how did we get-magic.' _Arthur felt foolish for a moment for not realizing that before he looked at his companions. Lancelot was helping Gaius and Guinevere to their feet, while Leon was helping his father to his. The other knights were also staring at the village in confusion, and Arthur saw Morgana's eyes widening in recognition.

"Where are we?" Everyone spun around to face Deidre and Matai, whom they had forgotten was with them. Before anyone could even take a step forward Matai glared and stepped protectively in front of Deidre.

"None of us will be able to touch another so there is no point in trying to kill either of us," came Deidre's distinctly annoyed voice. She demonstrated by laying a hand on Matai's shoulder-only for it to pass through him as if the man was smoke. "See?" she demanded. "We are but shadow here, nothing real or corporal. Now, I ask again, where are we?"

"Ealdor." Morgana finally spoke up, stepping towards the village. "This is where Merlin is from."

Deidre smiled. "Excellent. Shall we-"

She was cut off by a loud scream that came from further within the village. Everyone froze, and faced the rows of huts with apprehension. "Hunith," Gaius breathed in a trembling voice, and sprinted to where he knew her house was. At this everyone was spurred into action-all except the king.

"Gaius, stop!" he shouted, turning eyes filled with murder to the two sorcerers with them. "We cannot trust what these two say or do. Now, I do not know who this 'Hunith' is, but I can assure you-"

"Hunith is my sister, My Lord," Gaius interrupted harshly. "She is Merlin's mother, and that was her scream I heard. You may either follow or not, I do not care. I will, however, go and see exactly what it was that made my sister so distraught." Everyone was shocked at Gaius' words. He was never this stern to anyone, especially not the king. It was a testament of their friendship though when Uther simply glared at his physician before nodding sharply and reluctantly walking after the now retreating figure of Gaius. Finally, Deidre huffed and jogged after the two men, effectively shocking everyone back into action.

Once they reached the small hut, everyone was-again-shocked into silence. They could see a woman with shoulder length black hair and peasant dress sitting on the single cot against the wall of the hut, clutching a bundle of cloth to her chest and crying. Gaius walked forward and sat on the cot next to the girl-Arthur assumed she was the younger version of Hunith since he couldn't see her face- and raised his hand as if to comfort her, but remembered he couldn't, and lowered it again.

"My baby, my poor baby." Hunith finally spoke and she lifted her head to look down at the bundle of cloth. Now, Arthur could see the pale face of a baby peeking through. But as he looked closer, he noticed with dawning sadness that the baby was not breathing. It was dead. "My poor baby Merlin, you should be here with me my love."

Everyone drew in a shocked breath. "M-Merlin?" Gwen asked in a shaky breath, looking at Gaius with wild eyes, as if expecting he would tell her differently. Arthur looked at the physician as well, and all of his hopes were dashed at the astonished/horrified look on his face. Arthur couldn't believe this. _'Merlin isn't dead.' _he though viciously. _'She isn't. She-'_ He was pulled out of his thoughts when Hunith spoke again.

"My sweet little bird, you should not have left me here alone. Please," Hunith's voice broke and she took a few breaths to regain it. "_Please, _baby girl, you must come back to me. We haven't even gotten to know each other yet." At this Hunith chuckled humorlessly and ran a gentle finger down Merlin's-_not Merlin_\- pale cheek. "Oh but you would have been beautiful. And smart, and so, so courageous. I just know it." Her chin wobbled slightly and tears once more filled her red-rimmed eyes. "Now come back and prove it to me darling. I need-I _need you _to _come back_."

Gwen covered her mouth with her hands to try and stifle her sobs and Morgana had a hand pressed over her heart. Gwaine simply stared at the scene before him with disbelief coloring his features, while Percival, Leon and Elyan looked on sadly. Even Uther looked a bit teary eyed at the scene. Arthur looked at Deidre and Matai; the former was in a similar state as Gwen and Matai looked a bit uncomfortable by all of this. Arthur simply could not believe any of this. How could this be Merlin? Merlin was alive, and warm, and as beautiful as her mother predicted, _this cannot be right, not at all-_

A small, pitiful cry tore through the small hut, and everyone froze. There was a sniffle, and then a cooing noise came from the bundle in Hunith's arms. Arthur stared in shock as the baby-as Merlin- raised her little baby hand and touched her mother's cheek, as if trying to wipe away the tears she found there. Hunith for her part let out a hysterical laugh and hugged her daughter to her chest. She sat there, rocking back and forth on the cot, smiling up at the ceiling of her hut with teary eyes, though these were tears of joy, everyone could tell.

"Thank you," she whispered reverently. "Thank you, thank you _thank you." _Everyone breathed a sigh of relief at the sight, Gwen slumped forward and gave a small, shaky laugh. Arthur felt as though the weight of the world had lifted from his shoulders and he leaned against the wall of the hut. He couldn't believe how close he was to losing Merlin, before even knowing her. That fact alone made him shudder and he closed his eyes against the onslaught of emotions that threatened to pour out of him.

When he opened his eyes again, Gwaine was facing him with the same expression on his face. "Well," he said with forced cheer. "That was terrifying. How about that not happen again, is everyone in agreement?" Before even waiting for a response he nodded to himself. "Yes? Good. What's next?" He faced Deidre with his last question, and she opened her mouth to answer when the picture around them swirled together like smoke. Hunith's face smiling down at Merlin was the last glimpse they saw before the scene changed.

They stood in the middle of the hut again (Arthur couldn't figure out how their large party managed to fit in such a small space comfortably, but decided not to question it), and Hunith was outside the house, hanging clothes out to dry. They could see baby Merlin sitting up in a highchair by the table gnawing on her fingers. Her bright blue eyes were looking around the room in fascination, as if she was seeing the world for the first time, and Arthur thought that she looked quite adorable.

"Oh, she is so cute!" Gwen gushed as she smiled at her friend. Her brother rolled his eyes slightly at her, but a smirk pulled at the corner of his lips anyways, and Lancelot looked amused by her enthusiasm. Gaius smiled softly and nodded in pride at his niece.

Gwaine smirked and nudged the physician. "Aye, that she is. I'll bet she was a right terror as a little one, am I right?"

Gaius chuckled and nodded, though he seemed very tense all of a sudden. "From what I've gathered from Hunith's letters, and what I've seen myself, she certainly was an energetic child."

"Now, why doesn't that surprise-"

"Watch." At Deidre's command, all chatter stilled and they turned back to face Merlin. Arthur bristled slightly, suddenly not wanted Deidre here more than ever. These were Merlin's private memories, practically her entire life. He was sure there were secrets here that Merlin didn't want anyone to know (judging from the complete terror on her face before Deidre took said memories), and Arthur knew they shouldn't be here-least of all Deidre and Matai, complete strangers.

Before he could say anything, Merlin suddenly stopped moving. She was staring at the cot against the wall very intently, and making grabby motions with her hand at it. Arthur turned and saw there was a small stuffed animal-a dragon-on the bed. When it was apparent to the baby that the dragon was not moving, she dropped her hand back to her side, only to raise her other one in the air. What happened next knocked the breath out of Arthur completely.

Merlin's blue eyes focused on the dragon again, and this time, when her hand moved, so did the dragon. Slowly, a small ring of gold covered the blue of Merlin's eyes, and as the dragon moved closer to the baby the gold took over more of the blue. Soon enough, both of Merlin's irises were a completely molten gold color and the dragon flew-_literally flew_\- off of the mattress, and into her hand. Once the deed was done, Merlin's eyes faded back to blue and she smiled at the little stuffed animal in her hands.

There was dead silence in the hut. Uther stared at the baby with hatred, as did Morgana, while Gaius and Lancelot simply looked resigned. Everyone else, however, was gaping at the small baby in front of them. The baby they all knew to be Merlin. Their friend, Merlin, who apparently had magic.

Arthur's mind was blank, his emotions on overdrive. One thing was clear, however, and his heart ached when the thought repeated itself for the tenth time inside of his head.

_'Merlin has magic.'_


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, I just want to thank everyone that reviewed so much. I'm so happy that you all are enjoying this story, and I just love you guys. I really appreciate the support. Btw, the only reason these updates are happening so quickly is because of spring break. Once school starts back up, I'll be updating once a week. Sorry in advance!**

**Anyhoots, onto the story!**

**I do not own any of the Merlin characters.**

**~0~**

Arthur couldn't believe it. Merlin has magic. Merlin. _Merlin! Has magic! _His thoughts were in complete turmoil; his heart was lying in pieces at the bottom of his stomach. He stared blankly at the small child, who was happily holding her stuffed dragon and completely oblivious to the chaos rushing through the group watching her. Arthur felt bitter tears sting behind his eyes and he took a deep, shaking breath. _'Merlin has magic. She has betrayed me. Magic is evil, it killed my mother and tried to corrupt my sister. Merlin-' _Arthur found that he could not finish that thought. Merlin couldn't be evil-he knew Merlin, and there wasn't an evil bone in her body! At this, however, he internally scoffed. _'But you don't know her,' _his mind whispered harshly. _'Not really. Look how long she has lied to you. She could very well be a completely different person than the one you know. Than the one you love.' _

Hunith's startled gasp drew him out of his own head and he watched the mother stare in shock at her daughter. Just as he felt the stirrings of resentment for the woman, she dropped her hamper of clothes and collapsed to the ground, clutching her chest. She had everyone's full attention, even if she didn't realize it. Slowly, ever so slowly, she crawled towards Merlin and sat up enough to pull her daughter out of the highchair and into her arms. "Oh, my baby. My poor baby Merlin."

Arthur shivered slightly at Hunith's words-they were an almost exact repeat of what she had said to her daughter when she believed her dead. He didn't know if it was intentional or not. He looked at the pair sitting on the floor; Hunith with her eyes wide and unseeing as she held Merlin in her arms, and Merlin, somehow seeming to grasp the seriousness of the situation at hand and stayed silent as she laid in her mother's arms. "My dear, he'll kill you." At Hunith's sentence Arthur sucked in a breath. His eyes widened and he moved closer to hear Hunith's words. "If they ever find you, he'll kill you. It won't matter that you're just a baby, he won't care that you didn't have a choice. Uther won't care. He will drown you like he did every other child in Camelot."

Arthur felt his muscles lock and his breathing virtually stop. Slowly, he turned to face his father, expecting the look of denial and anger on his face, expecting the immediate spitting rage of a king wronged. Instead, he found his father, staring at his feet, with a pale and distinctly ashamed face.

For the seemingly thousandth time today, Arthur felt his heart breaking.

"Children, Uther?" Morgana asked. Her voice was icy and her eyes were filling with tears; the dark-haired woman was trying desperately to control her shaking hands, but found that she couldn't. After the revelation of Merlin's magic-'_she could have helped me, she could have done SOMETHING'_\- and now _this_, Morgana let out a hysterical little shriek of laughter. "You know, I used to admire you." She slowly stalked towards her father, speaking the entire time; "After my father died, because of _your_ orders, and _your _broken promise to send help to him in battle, you took me in. At first I was resentful, then I grew to love you. Like a _father_." She spat the last word like acid in her mouth and Uther flinched violently. Everyone took an involuntary step away from the ward of Camelot. A smirk slowly began to creep onto her face that immediately had the knight's hands resting on their swords. It reminded them all far too much of Queen Morgana; they were not taking the chance, no matter what Deidre said about none of them being able to touch another, to let her hurt anyone else.

"I looked up to you," she continued. "As a child, I practically worshiped the ground you walked on. But as I grew, I could see how twisted and warped you were from your fear." Morgana was steadily gaining ground on Uther, who still had not looked up from his boots. "You hate magic, yet you used it to bring Arthur into this world-" '_And there it is again, that feeling of heartbreak. How can that happen so many times to one person at one time?' _Arthur wondered. "You fear it so much that the mere word drives you to madness. You-"

"Morgana, ENOUGH!" Arthur wasn't sure who shouted, him or his father, but Morgana ignored them both.

"Tell me, Uther Pendragon," she was right in front of him now and malice seemed to ooze out of her eyes and from her voice. "How many more will you kill before you are satisfied? Just how much blood do you have on your hands?" When no response came, she just sneered and backed away almost reluctantly. "Oh how the mighty will fall," she purred, and if it was at all possible Arthur tensed even more. This was too much; between Merlin and magic and his father's vacant expression and Morgana's smirk it was all _too much-_

"We must never tell a soul, Merlin. Not one." Once again, Hunith brought everyone back to attention and they all stared at the woman with determination now covering her like a blanket. "I will not let you go easily, little bird. I will _not _let them take you from me," she promised and with a rather fierce look at her daughter, she stood. As she laid Merlin down on their little cot, the baby grabbed one of her mother's fingers and held on tight, locking her gaze with Hunith's with a strange intensity that no one had ever seen from a child that age, and Arthur found he couldn't take his eyes away from the child-from Merlin.

After a seemingly eternity of silence, Merlin giggled her little baby giggle and let go of her mother's hand. Most everyone watching let out a breath they hadn't known they were holding and watching absently as Hunith prepared Merlin for a bath. Most of the knights watched Merlin warily, and Uther's hate filled eyes once again found the baby-though the intensity was nowhere near its usual; it was nowhere near the heat blazing from Morgana's pale green eyes.

"She didn't have a choice," Gaius suddenly spoke, making many people jump from the sudden noise. "Magic chose her, only as a babe. As you can see, Merlin had magic-quite powerful magic-before she could speak or even crawl." Gaius turned and faced Arthur, completely disregarding Uther-who did not take the dismissal well, if the clenched jaw and tightening fists were any suggestion. All the same, Gaius spoke to the Prince. "Do not place Merlin in the same mindless category of 'evil' that everyone else would." The unspoken _'That your father does,'_ did not go unnoticed by anyone there. "Do not judge her solely on other's transgressions. Watch for yourself, Arthur, just what she has done for you, and then tell me if you believe she is as evil as every other magic user you have seen." There was a fierce protectiveness and sternness in Gaius' tone that made Arthur straighten and nod in agreement, though a bit reluctantly. The physician nodded, satisfied, and turned back to watch his sister and his niece.

**~0~**

Leon could count on one hand the number of times he had seen magic used for good.

Though he was a knight of Camelot, and loyal to the crown, he had his doubts about the prejudices against magic. As a boy, his parents had raised him to follow his heart and his gut, and that advice had gotten him out of many tight situations. For instance, the Druids. When he woke up after being saved by the Cup of Life, he had immediately set his hand on his sword out of pure knight's reflex. But when he looked into the druid's eyes-he later learned the man's name was Iseldir-his gut told him no one in the cave meant him harm. They had saved his life, after all; the life of a Camelot knight, one of the ones that had hunted their kind for decades, and yet they still saved him. Leon was still marveled, even to this day.

He had always had his doubts about magic, and magic users. Surely all magic couldn't be bad? Surely it isn't as black and white as Uther seemed to suggest it was? But he could not share his doubts, for Leon was the Captain of the Knights; he was there at every council meeting and every trial held for a magic user. He had seen, countless times, the crazed gleam that would enter his king's eyes whenever magic was mentioned by anyone, and especially at the so called "trials". He had always been disturbed by this gleam, and tried very hard to forget that it was ever there. Of course, he failed. Leon hated attending the trials, as well as the executions, because he knew many of the people that had been burned, or hanged, or beheaded, had been innocent. Uther had just wanted to believe any and every claim of magic to "eradicate the evils of this kingdom".

Of course he never said anything, not even to Arthur. Especially not to Arthur. The Prince was very protective of his father, and unfortunately seemed to put the man on a pedestal more often than not. It has happened less and less, however, since the fateful day that Merlin had arrived.

Leon had noticed immediately the change in his friend's behavior. He was still as arrogant as he always had been, but now it was almost always aimed at his maidservant, and in a teasing manner of sorts, and she simply rolled her eyes at her master. Arthur had started visiting the Lower Town as well, and had slowly started making acquaintances with the townspeople-all, of course, with Merlin's help. As Leon watched them more, he noticed just how much Arthur valued Merlin's opinion-almost above all others, even if he would never admit it. He noticed that Merlin's brash and often filter-less comments would give the Prince a new perspective on how his kingdom fared and on his own actions. She was helping the Prince gain his own voice, and use it to fight for what he believed in-she was helping him step out of Uther's shadow, and become his own man.

No, Leon did not believe that all magic was inherently evil. He had seen many evil things with magic, and had seen the destruction it could cause, but magic also has saved his life. And if all magic was evil, then that meant Merlin was evil, and Leon could never see Merlin as evil. It just wasn't in her to be evil. His heart and his gut told him that, without a doubt, Merlin could be trusted. That Merlin was good.

And that was enough for him.

**~0~**

Gwaine _knew _that little brat was hiding something.

From the minute he woke up in Merlin's room after his first of many drunken escapes in Camelot and he told her about his father, he _knew _that she could relate to keeping dangerous secrets. Once he was sober (or as sober as he ever was), and he looked closely, he could almost see the constant weight that seemed to rest on her shoulders. The lass was so small, and her burden seemed so heavy, he was slightly afraid she would collapse from the weight of it all.

But she was strong, stronger than he had given her credit for at first. Though sometimes her mask slipped and a look of sorrow was etched on her elfin features, she stood with her head held high and her shoulder's back, as if she was preparing for battle every time she took a step. He respected her immensely for that. And she seemed to have a deep respect for Arthur, even if the Princess treated her like dirt. Merlin stood up for Arthur when Gwaine started on his "I-hate-all-nobility" rant, and stood up _to _Arthur-right to his face, he was surprised to note-but the alcoholic could see she held no love for Uther. Anyone could see it, really, if they looked close enough.

That was everyone's problem, he realized. No one ever cared to look at anything anymore. Despite his constant state of half-drunkenness, Gwaine was a very observant person, and he observed many things about Camelot, and her resident Princess and his maidservant.

The first was how skittish the city was. Everywhere he went, many people were always on edge, as if they expected an attack at any given point in time. Once, when the guards passed through the streets, Gwaine saw the rising anxiousness in the people's faces as they pulled their children and their friends off of the roads and let the guards pass-as if they were afraid of them. And they probably were, since those guards worked for Uther, and the man was rather unpredictable in his orders. If he got so much as a whisper that magic was in the city of Camelot he would burn down every house in the Lower Town just to find and kill the suspect, without any proof whatsoever. Gwaine felt irrationally furious towards the king, even more so than he usually held for any nobles. He knew instantly that he could never follow a man like Uther.

The second thing Gwaine noticed was how the people noticeably lightened when Merlin was around. The girl just seemed to have a naturally bright and infectious personality. She smiled at everyone she saw, was often stopped by friends and shopkeepers, and how her laugh seemed to lighten anyone's spirits. Once, he had been walking through the market and had seen Merlin with a rather large group of children-orphans, he instantly recognized their dirty faces and how the rags they wore hung off of them unhealthily. They trailed the maidservant to a nearby stall and both Merlin and the owner started handing out bread and cheese and water to all of the children. Everyone cheered and hugged Merlin tightly, who just smiled and pointed a few of the older ones in the directions of the different shops as they prepared to leave. Gwaine later found out that Merlin often tried to find the children jobs at the shops to earn a bit of money, and that she had a running deal with many shopkeeps to hand out clean-if a bit worn-clothes and fresh food to the children, and she would pay them back with either manual labor or the money she earned from her job as the Prince's maidservant. You just couldn't help but love Merlin, he soon realized with a smile.

The third thing was how much of a complete and utter tosser the Princess was, and how much Merlin didn't seem to care.

The man was almost always complaining about Merlin's incompetence, or making fun of Merlin, or barking order after order at Merlin, and the girl just took it all with a smile and her usual reply of "clotpole". Gwaine could see how much Merlin respected Arthur, and how much she loved him-he would have noticed even if he hadn't caught her staring a bit too long at the Prince when she thought no one was looking. He could also see-and this one shocked him a bit-just how much Arthur seemed to love her in return.

Now, at first Gwaine didn't know if he had gotten that observation correct. But he had seen the two together for a second time, while Arthur was preparing for the tournament, and he had seen the way Arthur's eyes softened when she turned her back, and had suddenly felt like he was intruding on their moment (usually he would have no problem with that, but with as he soon came to expect, nothing was ever the same with Merlin).

The fourth thing he observed was just how loyal to Arthur Merlin was. Despite how much of a tosser Princess was, and no matter how many times Gwaine tried to stress that '_no nobles are worth dying for', _point he usually made, he could see the anger and the fear in her eyes when Merlin explained her suspicions about Sirs Oswald and Ethan and their plan to kill Arthur during the fighting. And, since Gwaine trusted Merlin's judgement, he followed her to the knight's rooms and damn near saved her life, and his, when both the imposter knights showed up.

Then Arthur stood up for Gwaine in front of his father, and tried to get him released from banishment, and Gwaine thought, '_Maybe not all of them are that bad.' _So he saved Arthur during the fight, and Merlin's blindingly bright smile from the stands was both for him and for the prince standing next to him. And that was when Gwaine decided that no, Arthur wasn't a horrible noble and yes, he appeared worth fighting for.

Gwaine knew that girl had been hiding something from him, and while it hurt a bit to learn that his best friend didn't seem to trust him enough with her secret, even after he told her his own, the knight now knew that she didn't have the luxury of telling her secrets to people, not even her closest friends. If anyone had found out, she would have her head on the chopping block in an instant.

One of the many things he had learned early on in his days of nomadism, was that not the world was not as black and white as many wanted to believe it was, especially when it came to magic and morals. Magic had saved his life far too many times, almost as much as it had almost killed him, and he had seen both the light and the dark sides of it-just as he had seen both sides of many people he had traveled with. After so many years of being on his own, Gwaine learned to stick with what he knew.

This is what Gwaine knew:

1) Merlin was his best friend and his little sister in all but blood.

2) Merlin was the most loyal and kind person you could ever hope to meet

3) Merlin had magic

4) If anyone tried to hurt Merlin, he would kill them without a second's thought.

Gwaine knew the difference between good and evil; he had seen what both can do to people. And if Arthur couldn't pull his head out of his ass long enough to see that Merlin was, undoubtedly, _not _evil, then dammit Gwaine would just have to pull it out himself, because there was no way in _hell_ that prat was messing this up with Merlin.

Not if her brother had anything to say about it.

**~0~**

Elyan didn't really know how he felt.

The knight wasn't really that close to Merlin, or at least not as close as Merlin was with his sister, or Gwaine or Arthur. From what Gwen had told him about the maid, and from what he'd seen with his own eyes, he didn't think this girl was capable of evil.

'_But she has magic,' _a traitorous part of his mind whispered. '_Magic is the reason your parents are dead.' _

'_Magic is NOT the reason Father is dead,' _a second voice that sounded suspiciously like his sister cut in almost immediately. '_Father ran, and the guards did their job. It was of no fault but his own, really.' _

Elyan glanced over at his sister to see how she was faring; she was still staring at Baby Merlin with narrowed, contemplative eyes and tense shoulders. He sighed and rubbed a weary hand over his face. '_This is only the second memory we've seen,' _he thought ruefully, '_and already I feel exhausted.' _The knight walked over to his little sister and she acknowledged him with a slight nod.

"She was my best friend," Gwen whispered after a moment. "Why didn't she tell me? D-Did she think I was going to…to, give her up? Hate her?" She turned teary eyes towards her brother. "Why did she keep this from us for so long?"

Elyan sighed again and nodded towards the king. "Gwen, I don't really think she had a choice-"

"No, I know that, and I understand. I do. I just…" Gwen shook her head. "I just wish she would have _told me._"

Suddenly Lancelot appeared at Gwen's shoulder and looked for the world like he just wanted to comfort her, and Elyan was heartened again by the man before him. He truly was a noble man, and worthy of his sister's affections. As Elyan studied his fellow knight though, he became increasingly aware of the slight guilt and the resignation lingering around his eyes. And it clicked.

"You knew."

Elyan's voice was louder than he originally intended, and now the rest of the gathered group had their eyes fixed on Lancelot, who looked uncomfortable at the attention. Elyan threw him an apologetic look before he spoke again. "You knew she had magic."

Lancelot didn't even hesitate before responding, "Yes, I did."

Elyan noticed Arthur's pursed lips and tight expression, and Gwaine's downward tick of his lips and groaned internally. Lancelot apparently noticed as well because he rushed to explain himself. "I found out by accident, she never meant for me to figure it out. It was the night I was banished, and the griffin was attacking…" Lancelot looked straight at Arthur now. "She saved my life, and yours. She knew I was going after you and refused to let me go alone. I didn't know why she cared so much until I left the city, of course. The minute we arrived where you and the knights were, Arthur, she ran to you to make sure you were alive." Arthur's face relaxed again, though Elyan noticed that Uther's tightened all the more. "Merlin was the one that killed the griffin."

Elyan swung around to face the knight once more and stared wide eyed at the man before him. Gwen seemed to be doing the same thing.

"_Mer_lin killed the griffin?" came Arthur's incredulous response. Lancelot nodded solemnly. "B-But…_how?" _

Lancelot smiled softly. "She cast a spell on my lance, right before it hit the beast. The blade erupted into blue fire and the griffin was dead before it even hit the ground."

There was a stunned silence all around after this revelation. Elyan couldn't help but wonder, just how powerful was Merlin? If she'd been using magic before she could even _speak, _then that should be a pretty big indicator of power, though Elyan did not know much about the inner workings of magic.

Elyan still did not really know how he felt.

On the one hand, magic was the reason his father was dead. Or, at least the sorcerer was. He had been raised to believe that magic was evil, and no one with it could be trusted, and after an attack on Camelot killed his and Gwen's mother when Gwen was but a year old, he held a bit of resentment towards magic itself.

On the other hand, it really isn't magic that is to blame. Elyan could see that Merlin was a good person; she cared for the people of Camelot and for her friends and would do anything to help any of them. And Merlin had magic. If Merlin was such a good person, then logically, her magic would be good as well. Besides, Gwen had always approved of the other maidservant and trusted her with her life. Gwen was a kind soul, very generous, but her trust was a very hard earned thing. She seemed to have a sense of weeding out the rotten people from the good ones, and merlin had gotten into her good books.

Elyan looked towards his sister again and saw that she had turned to face Baby Merlin and Hunith again, who were just now settling into the cot. Hunith kissed Merlin lightly on the cheek and covered them both with a blanket before closing her eyes. Gwen had a small smile on her face, and she nodded decisively before facing her brother. He held his breath and Gwen's smile grew into a grin. Her expression cemented his decision. _'She's good. We can trust her.' _

And so, Elyan decided that he would follow his sister's judgement, as usual, and place some well-deserved trust into Merlin's hands.

**~0~**

Percival honestly did not know what everyone was so tense about.

The giant knight had a history with magic, as did most everyone in the five kingdoms, especially Camelot. But his history, unlike others', did not get horrible when magic was introduced. His life became so much better.

Percival had come from a loving family. His mother and father were hard working and dedicated parents to him and his two siblings; his brother Bedeveire and his sister Rosaline. His family lived in a relatively small village in Mercia, well overlooked by their king-just how they liked it. Everything was perfect in Percival's life.

Then the bandits attacked.

This particular band was one that hailed from Odin's kingdom, and they were quickly gaining a name for themselves as a rather ferocious and ruthless band of men, called the Bloodless. Why they were named so, no one knows, for after they ransacked a village most of the men were covered in blood that was not their own. Eodin, their leader, was especially feared. He demanded much from the people he sought, namely their food and a few valuables as well, even a daughter or two had been taken by his men. The man was small, but he was fast and cunning and his blood-curdling smile sent even the bravest of men running for their lives. Many had reported that the aftermath was especially horrid; the band would take the heads of those they killed and place them on spike to surround the village, as a warning of what was to come for those that did not give him what he wanted.

Unfortunately for Percival, Eodin's next visit was to his own village.

His father tried to prevent Eodin from taking their already scarce food supplies, but nothing he said worked. He absolutely refused to send any of the women or young girls out of their homes in hopes of them staying safe from the brutes in Eodin's band. It was no use. Eventually, the bandits broke into the homes and took many of the women right there in their own beds. It was a horrific sight for the nine year old Percival to see his village burned and torn to the ground. Before he or his family could even step out of their door, Eodin had surrounded them. He wanted to make his father an example to the people; "This is what happens," Eodin grabbed Percival's father and pressed a dagger to his throat, "To those that defy me." Percival had been forced to watch his father bleed out in front of him. He had been forced to take his siblings from his mother, and leave her to die.

"Run into the forest and do not look back," his mother had told him. "Go, Percival, go!"

And so he ran, but unfortunately did not get very far. One of the bandits had caught him and Bedeveire, the stupidly brave soul that he was, ran at the man with a hunting knife he had found on the ground. Before his brother could shout Bedeviere had a sword sticking out of his stomach. Rosaline was devastated and ran to her twin crying and screaming words that would have made even the crudest of men curl their lips in disgust. Percival fought tooth and nail to save his sister, but eventually they had all caused so much of a commotion that even with the entire village's screams surrounding them they had drawn attention to themselves. More men came, more than the seven year old boy could even dream of trying to defeat, and Rosaline's wailing cut off entirely, falling to the ground beside Bedeviere. One of the bandits simply sneered at Percival and his knife before hitting him across the face with the butt of his sword, and that was the last thing Percival remembered.

When he next awoke, it was in a rather large cave filled with little floating lights. Percival knew immediately that it was magic, and found he simply did not care. His family was dead, his village gone, and he had no one. He was alone.

As Percival's time with the Druids went on, he learned many things about magic and its uses. It could be used to heal, or see the future just as well as it could destroy an entire kingdom. It really depended on what the person chose to do with magic that mattered. He learned about the prophecies of Emrys, and the Once and Future King, and found he had hope for these two people, if only so people like the Druids could finally live in peace. He rarely spoke more than a few words to anyone, but they didn't seem to mind his silence. Everyone was patient with him, and not overly pitying as he expected them to be. They seemed to grasp that he did not want their pity and accepted that, simply helping him when he needed it and providing somewhere safe to live. As he grew older, Percival started taking lessons with one of the men that knew how to fight without magic. Even at a young age Percival had known that he wanted to protect people, and even if the weight of his guilt for not being able to protect his own family crushed him sometimes, he vowed to not let another child go through what he did. So he trained, and he fought, and he grew to be the strong giant that his father had always sworn he would grow to be. Eventually left the little band of Druids that had become his family to find a place of his own.

While traveling through what everyone knew was Hengist's lands, he walked into the middle of a fight between a rather dark skinned man and three of Hengist's men. Without any prompting he rushed to the stranger's aid, fighting alongside him to defeat the three men. Together they worked quite well and soon all of Hengist's men were dead, and the man turned to Percival. "Thank you for the help," he said gratefully. "You're very skilled with a sword." Percival shrugged modestly and the man smiled a bit. "My name is Lancelot."

"Percival," he replied and shook the extended hand. The two had formed a fast friendship and traveled together for a few months. All the while, Lancelot would talk about his past, and his days in Camelot. Two names that were repeated often-so often that Percival had felt that he knew them both very well without even meeting them-were Guinevere, and Merlin. Percival knew Lancelot fancied Guinevere simply by the way he spoke of the woman, his eyes going soft and his voice gaining a certain longing quality to it that Percival knew meant the young man was in love.

When Lancelot spoke of his friend Merlin, however, there was an odd mix of exasperation, fondness and a bit of awe that entered his voice. He spoke of a small serving girl with a spirit far too large for her body; of a girl with an immense amount of bravery and loyalty to the ones she loves. He especially spoke of her willingness to break the rules if it meant protecting her kingdom and her Prince. Lancelot's smile turned coy at the mention of the infamous Prince Arthur. Percival had gotten the impression that Merlin had a fancy for the prince, but he couldn't very well tell from just Lancelot's accounts of his days with the girl.

Then Percival had met the Merlin, and Guinevere, and Arthur, and he could see immediately why Lancelot was so fond of them all.

Guinevere was quite lovely, if a bit soft spoken. She was kind, and caring and seemed to love Lancelot just as much as he loved her. Her brother Elyan didn't seem to know how to deal with the fact that his sister had a potential courter and he glared at Lancelot for a while before seeming to realize his intentions were noble.

Arthur, he found, was a bit more subdued than what Lancelot had described, but that could have been due to the fact that this Morgana character had apparently taken control of Camelot and imprisoned his father. The prince had led them all to an abandoned castle and spent a lot of his time talking with an elderly man-whom Percival had found out was Gaius. They talked in low voices, as if not wishing to be overheard, though Percival could tell that the prince was dying to go back to his kingdom and rescue his father. Percival found that he respected the young prince for his dedication to his kingdom and his respect for the man grew.

Merlin was completely unexpected, even if it really shouldn't have been considering all that Lancelot told him.

The minute everyone was safe in the old castle, Merlin had let loose a squeal of delight and launched herself at Lancelot, practically wrapping herself around the man and nearly knocking them both to the floor. Lancelot simply laughed and hugged her back. After a few more moments Merlin broke their embrace and smiled widely at her friend, then poked him in the side and subtly nodded her head towards where Guinevere was standing. Lancelot flushed and Merlin simply rolled her eyes before walking away from the man and towards Percival. "Hello," she said brightly. "My name is-"

"Merlin!" Arthur's shout interrupted her and she rolled her eyes again.

"What?" Percival was shocked by the defiance in her tone and worried that the prince would take offense, but it seemed to roll off the man's back as if it was a common enough occurrence.

"I need you to collect some wood and see if you can get some fires started. We don't need to freeze overnight." Merlin let out a rather long suffering sigh and nodded, before flashing Percival a look that clearly said, '_We'll talk later,' _and grabbed a different man-Gwaine, if Percival remembered correctly- to help her.

Percival watched the interactions between the group gathered before him for the rest of the night, taking note especially of Merlin and Arthur's relationship. It seemed that Merlin had an endless supply of sass and teasing reserved for everyone there, even more so for the Prince, and it seemed to lift everyone's spirits a bit. Merlin, Percival soon realized, was the life among these people, and the hope that none of them could instill in themselves. He watched as Merlin declared her loyalty to Arthur with a joke and a nod-somehow it seemed more binding than any words that were spoken of the men sitting at the round table. He watched as, while he and the other men were knighted, the pride in Merlin's eyes seemed to overflow and seep into Arthur, further reinstating Percival's already fairly sound conclusion that the two had feelings for one another, but have yet to have expressed it to each other. To everyone else it was obvious, if Gwaine's outright smirking was anything to go by, but Percival knew the newly made knight wouldn't interfere with their love life. Yet.

Before they prepared to storm Camelot, everyone was getting some well-deserved rest, but Percival found that he could not sleep. He sat up and sighed, then took his sword and stood to take watch, even if Arthur had insisted it wasn't necessary. After a few minutes of silence he heard some shuffling, then a small body plopped down next to the giant of a man. "Couldn't sleep?" Percival smiled in greeting and shook his head in response. Merlin smiled back and nodded. "Me neither. I'm a bit worried to be honest. I don't want anyone here getting hurt." Percival glanced at the serving girl.

For some reason he felt as though he could trust Merlin with his life, and his secrets, and he suddenly felt the need to speak to her. "Even me?" he found himself asking. While he sat in shock of himself, Merlin merely nodded.

"Yes, Percival, even you."

Percival was even more confused. "You don't know me," he said, wondering why she was as worried for a complete stranger as she was for her friends she had known for years.

Merlin nodded in confirmation to his words. "No, I don't know you. But you are Lancelot's friend, and from what he has told me, you're a very skilled swordsman and you've saved his life many times over." Percival flushed slightly at her words. "I trust Lancelot's judgment. You have his trust, and so you have mine. And since we don't know each other, I will be rectifying that little problem once this is all over." She stated all of this as if it was a simple enough conclusion, and he supposed it was in her mind.

"Lancelot speaks very highly of you." Merlin snorted in amusement and glanced at Percival. "He spoke of your bravery, and your commitment to Arthur." Merlin blushed at the praise and smiled softly at the group surrounding them.

"They're my friends, practically my family. And Camelot is my home. I will protect them all to the best of my ability."

And Percival found that he did not doubt that she had a lot of ability to do so.

Now, as everyone was staring with conflicted expressions at Merlin's memory, Percival thought on that conversation with Merlin and smiled. '_They will see'_, he thought. _'They will not condemn Merlin to death, for she is the Light in Camelot. They will see all that she has done, and she will prove her loyalty to them again.'_

Percival nodded sharply to himself and, with his ever present patience, prepared himself to wait for the others to come to this conclusion as well.

**~0~**

Deidre was so very confused.

She and Matai ignored everyone, and everything that was being said around them and simply stared at the baby in shock.

'_How is this possible?' _she thought.

Matai shrugged and answered her telepathic question, scratching his neck. _'I don't know. I've never heard of anyone being able to have this much magic at such a young age.' _

'_She hasn't learned anything! She is just a baby! How-' _Deidre cut herself off and her eyes went wide with realization. "Oh gods, what have we done?" she whispered aloud, terror lacing her words.

'_My Lady?' _Matai looked at the little woman beside him in concern.

Deidre stared up at her long-time friend. _'Don't you see,' _she whispered. _'Her power rivals that of a Priestess, even now. Who is the only one we know that can possess such magic?' _Deidre watched as Matai stared in confusion, then in dawning horror at the scene before them. She nodded her head in silent confirmation.

'_She-Deidre, is she-' _

'_Emrys.' _The two sorcerers slowly turned to face one another again. _'We have captured Emrys.'_

Matai shuddered and took a step away from the image of the baby and her mother, then rubbed a rough hand over his face.

'_We're going to die, aren't we?' _he asked wryly. Deidre had no answer for him, and they simply resigned themselves to their fate as the memory swirled around them and came to an end.

**~0~**

**Oh my gods that was way longer than I originally intended for it to be. Thank you again to everyone that reviewed, have a wonderful week and I'll update again next weekend! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Ohmygosh guys I cannot express how much your reviews meant to me, y'all are so kind and wonderful and I love you all. 3 I am so sorry this took so long, I was having major writers block and I'm studying for upcoming exams so yah. I apologize, I'll try to be better about this.**

**Okay to answer some of your questions:**

**TamashinoSuzume, we will see her enter Camelot in the later chapters, we still have to get through her past, but it probably will be in the next 5/6 chapters or so.**

**XxPurpleAngel9xX, Merlin will wake up after all of the memories are over, so yeah we'll get to see her reactions to them knowing and their own reactions to her at the very end.**

**Anyways, onto Chapter 4!**

**I do not own Merlin or any of its characters, they belong to Sir Thomas Mallory and BBC exclusively. **

**~0~**

Arthur tried, he really did. It took every ounce of his self-control not to completely snap right then and there. Not only did Merlin have magic, from birth it looked like, but Gaius had known, as had Lancelot. Merlin killed the griffin. And from the reactions out of the aforementioned physician and knight, there are many more things she has done since being in Camelot. _'Oh, and let's not forget your father drowned children,' _his mind so helpfully supplied.

Arthur tried to keep a tight lid on his emotions, but he could feel himself starting to slip. Anger, hurt, disbelief and betrayal were all swimming around his head and his heart, reaching through his entire body and drenching every cell in their turmoil, to the point that he could barely breathe much less breathe. Everything his father had taught him from the moment he knew Arthur could understand him was warring with what Arthur knew about Merlin, and Hunith, and even Gaius. _'Which, admittedly,' _he thought wryly, _'is not that much.' _Then something else clicked with the prince. _'Gaius practiced magic, long before the Purge started. And my father pardoned him.' _Arthur glanced at the Court Physician, then at a rather pale and terrified looking Matai and Deidre. Surely if Gaius practiced magic, and he hadn't been trying to destroy Camelot, then not all magic was evil?

Arthur was shaken from his thoughts as Merlin's memories started fading again, and soon he found himself and the others in a large field of wildflowers. He could clearly see Hunith kneeling in the tall grasses, gathering what looked to be herbs in a small basket that sat at her side. Hunith raised her head and looked around for a moment before spotting something and smiling softly. Arthur had to admit, Hunith was a beautiful woman.

"Darling, I'm going back to the house for a bit. Don't go past the flowers, alright?"

"Yes, Mum!" a little voice responded. Arthur was a bit shocked at the voice; the last time he had heard anything from Merlin, it was just as a baby's nonsensical gurgles. He turned around towards the sound of her voice and had to really fight to keep a smile off of his face.

The little girl his eyes were met with was probably the most adorable thing the Prince had ever seen. She was short, and rather skinny, but not unhealthy. She looked to be about five years old in this particular memory. As a child, her cheekbones weren't nearly as prominent as they are, although her ears were still a bit on the larger side. Her hair was dark and shined in the light under the sun and curled slightly at her shoulders. As toddler-Merlin assured her mother that she would behave, her dark blue eyes were wide and innocent. But the minute her mother was a few feet away, the innocence fell away and what was left was an all too familiar impish grin.

Arthur heard Gwen moan slightly. "Oh, Merlin no. Don't do anything stupid," she pleaded. Gwaine had a small smirk on his face, as did Lancelot, and Arthur knew exactly what they were thinking. _'No promises, Gwen.' _

Merlin let loose a giggle and spun in a circle on the spot. As she spun Arthur noticed some movement in the field around them. The knights noticed it too, for they started moving around the women and the King until they found the potential threat eliminated. The movements became a bit more harried, obviously not caused by the wind; it was enough to make the little girl in front of them stop and look at the grass around her. Arthur was reluctant to admit that the usual protective streak that arose when Merlin was in over her head with something struck again with the smaller version of his maidservant in front of him. He didn't know what was in these grasses, but he knew he didn't want a child in the vicinity of any of it.

After a few moments of suspense, a little figure flew up from the tall grasses and landed on one of the taller weeds in front of Merlin's face. Arthur tensed when he saw the figure; it was a tiny, tiny human-looking thing, except it had wings, and the dress it wore seemed to be made of leaves. Its hair was pure white, like snow, and reached its miniature waist. It was large enough to see rather clearly, but small enough to disappear when needed. "A fairy," Deidre whispered reverently. Arthur tensed even more at the sorceress' awed tone, and did not want to think about what this meant for Merlin.

"A fairy?" Gwaine's inquiring voice made many heads turn.

Deidre nodded. "Fairies are very rare creatures, and much like a unicorn or a dragon they are entirely creatures of the Old Religion. Fairies are often thought to be symbols of hope. They are kind spirits-" Everyone purposefully ignored Uther's noise of protest. "And they very rarely show themselves to anyone. In all of our history, only four have claimed to be visited by a fairy."

Leon glanced at Deidre. "Only four? That you know of, you mean."

Matai shook his head. "No, only four ever. No one would dare lie and claim they had seen a fairy, it's considered a crime in the magical world."

"Why is that?" The two magic users looked closely at Gwen when she asked this question, and though they could both see a lingering distrust and a bit of wariness, they could see genuine curiosity in the maid's steady gaze, as in (most) everyone else's eyes. They were a bit heartened by their reactions, and it gave them both hope for the future.

Gaius interrupted, "Fairies are a symbol of hope; anywhere that hope and happiness thrives is where a fairy will choose to dwell." He turned to face his niece and a fierce look of pride came over his features. "Only the ones with the greatest sense of ingrained hope can even begin to imagine to see a fairy. It's an extreme honor among the magical peoples."

Arthur turned back to face Merlin and stared in reluctant wonder at the child before him. Even at this age, she was that powerful? So powerful, that these creatures -fairies, a nagging little voice that sounded far too similar to Merlin's corrected him- chose to show themselves to her? He wouldn't say it aloud of course, but the prince was slightly impressed with his maidservant.

"You're wittle." Gwen practically melted at the mispronunciation the little girl made and was radiating maternal love for Merlin's image in front of them. She was slightly concerned, though, at how the fairy would react to the girl's obvious lack of respect. Granted she didn't know exactly what she was talking to, nor the apparent significance of it, but Gwen was a bit worried that the small creature would take offense. She needn't have worried, however, because the fairy simply chuckled.

"I am indeed very small, child. I am a fairy."

Merlin's already wide eyes stretched even more, so much that it looked like it hurt. "A real fairy?" she whispered in awe. "Mommy tolds me stowies about fairies! She says that they're really wittle and pretty and nice and they help people when they get hurt. Do you help people Miss Fairy?"

Arthur smiled almost involuntarily at Merlin's childlike rambling, it was very similar to what she did now. The fairy also smiled at the child, but it was a little wider than the prince's. "I do like helping people, very much. And please, my name is Meara, my Lady." The fairy -Meara- then did something that shocked quite a few people watching.

She stood, and bowed to the five year old Merlin.

Leon stood gaping at the scene before him. Fairies, one of the oldest and most noble and mysterious of magical races -or so according to Gaius and the sorcerers- who rarely showed themselves to humans, just _bowed _to a _toddler._ The knight's brain was trying desperately to fit the pieces of this complicated and twisted puzzle together, but even the usually most level-headed knight was dumfounded. He glanced around him and found similar expressions on Arthur's face, as well as Gwaine and Elyan; even the King looked somewhat astonished. Leon sighed after a moment and simply shook his head. Merlin was an anomaly, an enigma, and he doubted that anyone would understand or know her any better after they had watched all of her memories than they did before-hand. He resigned himself to wait, and see where exactly this girl's life headed.

Merlin, meanwhile, giggled at the little fairy. "No, silly, my name is Merlin. Why'd you call me 'my Lady'?" As she asked the question, her head tilted slightly to the side and her eyes narrowed a bit, a look Arthur knew to mean that Merlin didn't trust someone or something. It pained him slightly, to see a five year old -_a five year old!-_ this wary of the small creature in front of her, knowing that if she chose to trust in the wrong people, she and her mother would be executed. No child should have to have carried that burden, yet Merlin didn't have a choice in the matter. Arthur was suddenly horribly sad for the little girl before him.

Meara was not deterred by the look, however. "Forgive me, Merlin, but my people see you as someone to be respected." The fairy leapt off the flower she had perched on and floated eye-level with the child before her. "You have a great destiny, child, and my kin have come to declare our loyalty to you." Merlin gaped slightly at Meara. Obviously, she knew that the situation was rather serious, and knew how important this moment was. _'She's smarter than I give her credit for,' _Arthur thought, _'Even at such a young age.' _Meara interrupted his musings, however. "Is there anything we can do to ensure we mean you no harm, young one?"

The toddler's blue eyes narrowed once again at the fairy and she looked her over multiple times. She seemed to find what she was looking for, because in a second the switch was flipped and Merlin was smiling again. "Can you make the flowers dance with me?" she asked.

The fairy smiled again and nodded, then waved her hands to the sides of her. All at once, different colored lights shone through the tall grasses and as they swayed back and forth, the flowers moved with them. Merlin giggled again and started twirling in her little field, and soon a small circle of fairies joined in and made a ring around the small girl. Even more zoomed around the field, and Arthur watched as they picked some of the brightest flowers in the field and wove them into a small circlet. As they flew, Merlin stopped twirling and stood still as the fairies placed the crown of flowers on her head. The colors stood out greatly against her black hair and pale skin; Arthur was shocked to realize that in that moment, Merlin looked like royalty. The little girl laughed in delight and danced with what she would soon come to acknowledge as "her fairy friends".

"Is it just me, or does it seem like these fairies just crowned a five year old their Queen?" Gwaine looked around and realized that everyone else had come to the same conclusion as he had, and the knight paid attention to certain people's faces. For one, Lancelot was beaming with pride at the sight of Merlin dancing with the fairies, and Gaius looked a bit misty-eyed. Deidre and Matai, however, looked shocked, and damn near terrified; even more so than at the beginning of this memory. While Gwaine found it odd, he quickly dismissed it and looked towards Arthur. The Prince was staring at Merlin with tensed shoulders and a hand on the hilt of his sword, but his eyes showed his confusion and shock at the gesture made by the little creatures. Gwaine shook his head slightly; he really hoped the man would come to his senses soon, because he really didn't want to beat the Prince in front of his father. That would be rather embarrassing. _'Then again…'_

Morgana was fuming, and more than a little perplexed. _'How is she so powerful,' _she thought. _'I haven't seen her do much of anything yet. What "great destiny" does _Merlin _have? Why did the fairies call her "my Lady?' _The secret Pendragon huffed in derision at the sight of Merlin running in the field. She had the passing thought of trying to make Merlin trip over something, but her magic wouldn't work here as they were just watching memories. Besides, even if it worked, the fairies would just catch her before she even hit the ground. Morgana glared daggers at everyone in front of her and scoffed. _'Look at them all, cooing over the child like the pathetic people they are. If only they knew what she was capable of cold-blooded murder, then they wouldn't believe Merlin to be as sweet and innocent as they all believed.' _Then, she realized what exactly this all meant. _'We're watching her memories,' _she thought in dawning horror. _'Once she arrives in Camelot, they will all see and hear what she has. They'll see me with Morgouse. Our plans will be ruined!' _

Morgana forced herself to breathe regularly, and to unclench her fists. If they noticed her anxiety now, they would all realize something was wrong, and how would she explain it? As she was inwardly panicking the memory started to swirl and fade, leading to another. The witch sighed and started thinking frantically about how she would lie her way out of this.

**~0~**

Everyone looked around at the new memory as it played out. It was night, and the five year old Merlin was sitting at the table with her mother, staring forlornly at her food. Hunith watched her daughter for a few moments before sighing. "All right," she said. "What's the matter, love? Usually you're attacking your food at this time of night." Merlin shrugged and stirred her porridge again. Hunith simply looked at the child before she finally glanced up at her mother.

"Old Man Simmons talked to me today," Merlin whispered finally. Everyone noticed immediately that Hunith sat up straighter in her seat and the same fierce look entered her dark eyes, and they dreaded whatever was going to happen next. When Merlin didn't elaborate, her mother hummed.

"And what did he say, exactly?"

"That bastards and demon-children don't belong in this world, and that I was a disgrace to you, and that was why-" Merlin chocked a bit as she was speaking, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. She sniffled and dropped her spoon in her bowl. "He said Father didn't want me, and that was why he left us. Why he left you."

Hunith shot up from her seat and practically ran to her crying daughter on the other side of the table. "Shh, love, shh." Merlin flung her arms around her mother's neck and cried into her shoulder. Hunith was crying as well, silently, though a righteous anger burned in her black eyes. "That man should have never said those things to you, they are not the truth."

"But why?" Merlin cried. "Why do I have powers? Why are people scared of me? I don't want them, I don't want powers!" After another sniffle she mumbled into Hunith's dress, "Is that why Father left? Is it because I'm a monster?"

Hunith's gasp was echoed by many of the people watching, though Gwen's was the loudest. Everyone stared in horror at the crying child before them (sans Uther; though the king did feel a bit uncomfortable and, if he was honest, rather ashamed at this point, but he was not an honest man, least of all to himself). Soon the knights were practically growling with anger, Gwaine and Percival especially. Arthur simply stared in shock and complete and utter sadness at the scene he was witnessing. _'This,' _he thought with a newfound clarity and certainty. '_This is not a child of evil doing, or of evil make. This is not what my father had everyone believe those with magic were. This is a scared, lonely little girl, who made no choice in having magic.' _Arthur nodded to himself and finally –_finally_\- let go of the tension in his body. He didn't notice Lancelot's subtle glances, or his barely there smile when the knight realized what happened. The Prince simply watched and listened and learned more about his friend.

Hunith grasped her daughter's chin between her fingers and forced Merlin to look her in the eyes. "You are not a monster. Do not ever believe that. You have a good heart, little bird, and it is their fault if they cannot see what is right in front of them." Once Merlin's sniffled died down, Hunith continued. "As for your father," here, her voice wavered, and everyone held their breaths in anticipation. "Your father had magic as well."

Merlin's eyes went wide. "He did?" she whispered. Hunith nodded and smiled at her daughter.

"He did, and he was brilliant at it. In his time, magic was not feared, it was seen as a gift. He lived in Camelot, and worked under the King. They were very good friends." Merlin was entrapped by her mother's tale, as were the ones watching. "One night, when the Prince was born, the Queen went to sleep and didn't wake up." Arthur saw his father flinch harshly at the mention of his mother. "The King was sad, and angry, and hurt the people he knew had magic in Camelot."

Merlin gasped. "Even Father?"

Hunith nodded sadly. "Yes, even his friends. Your father fled from Camelot, and came here. No one would let him in for fear of getting caught by the King."

"But you helped him, didn't you Mummy?" Merlin interrupted again.

Hunith smiled at her daughter and ran a hand over her curls. "Yes, yes I gave him shelter." Hunith stared behind Merlin with a dazed look in her eyes, lost in her memories. "I knew why he was hiding, and who he was hiding from, and told him he could stay as long as he needed to. We fell in love, and we were happy."

There was a pause, and Merlin looked at her mother. "Why did Father leave?"

Her mother shook herself and continued, "He had gotten word that the King was looking for him, and that he was heading towards Ealdor. In order to protect me, and unknowingly you, little bird, he left." Many turned their heads to openly glare at Uther, as they all knew he was the King in question. At this, Hunith looked Merlin in the eye again. "Your father left to save my life, and the lives of the villagers here. He left to save you, Merlin. That is the truth. Do not ever believe otherwise. I love you with all of my heart, and I know that if he was here he would have loved you as well. Do you understand?"

Merlin nodded and hugged her mother again. They both stayed on the floor of their little hut, dinner completely forgotten.

"Merlin has always believed that she was a monster." Arthur's head whipped around fast enough to give him whiplash, but he did not care as he stared in disbelief at Gaius. The physician was looking at his niece with a deep-seated guilt and depression in his eyes. "Within her first week in Camelot, she had gotten into two fights with Arthur, the second leaving her with a mace injury." Arthur flushed in embarrassment at the mention of his horrible behavior before Merlin arrived, then paled at the mention of the mace injury.

"Arthur hit her? With a MACE?" Gwaine looked positively livid when he faced his prince, and Arthur found himself stammering an explanation.

"She was dressed as a boy, I didn't know she was even injured-"

"That doesn't excuse-"

"Boys!" Both men turned to face Deidre, who was glaring at them both. "If you don't mind, I would like to hear what Gaius was trying to say before he was so rudely _interrupted_." With a pointed look at Gwaine, she turned to face Gaius once more. Gwaine shot a dirty look at Arthur, and the prince got the distinct feeling that he was going to get a very harsh verbal lashing from the knight.

Gaius nodded in thanks to the sorceress. "As I was saying. When she came into my chambers, I asked her why she was so reckless with her magic. She could have gotten herself killed, and barely a week in Camelot no less! She told me that she was no one, and that if she didn't have magic she might as well be dead." Silence reigned over the group. "When I went to treat her, she asked me if I was a monster. I told her no, of course, but I don't imagine she believed me. I don't think she ever believed me."

No one really knew what to say after that. Gwen had silent tears sliding down her cheeks; even Morgana looked saddened by Merlin's story. Everyone watched as the memory faded into a new one, and they hoped this one was a happy one.

**~0~**

Colors swirled and blended together, and images flashed before their eyes. Hunith smiling at Merlin, whispering, "Happy Birthday, little bird." Merlin running through the flowers again, bright lights following her every step. It finally stopped on an image of a slightly older version of Merlin –maybe seven years old now- sitting at the table in their small hut. The sun shone brightly through the small window over the wash-tub, and the little girl looked forlornly out, staring at her mother as she worked.

Gwen glanced between Merlin and Hunith in confusion. "What's wrong this time?" she muttered. Elyan glanced at her and shrugged, although dread for the small witch before him settled heavily in his stomach. It was a feeling that, unfortunately, he had come to recognize often during his time in Camelot. The siblings watched as a determined look entered the child's deep blue eyes.

"No more," she whispered decisively, then nodded. Everyone watching was extremely confused.

It was Percival that spoke first. "No more what?" Arthur had a sneaking suspicion, and he hoped he was wrong, because surely she couldn't be saying that now could she? Was it even possible for her?

_'Why do you care?' _Arthur flinched at the viciousness that was his mind. _'She's a witch, she has magic, she betrayed you and Camelot. What makes you think that she won't kill you and take the throne for herself?' _Arthur shook his head though. Merlin couldn't do that. She wouldn't. _Would she? _

The gathered group watched as the scenes flashes by in rapid succession; Merlin working with her mother in the fields, and scratching her arms and legs; Merlin avidly avoiding the large field of flowers where the fairies dwelled; Hunith looking worriedly at her daughter as she whimpered and twitched in her sleep, then whispering "It itches, it itches." It finally stopped on the image of Merlin, sitting on her cot. Arthur gasped at the sight of the child before him. She was twitching uncontrollably, even though she was obviously trying to control her limbs. Her eyes had dark circles under them and were slightly sunken in, and the usual expressive hue of her eyes was now dull and almost gray. Every inch of exposed skin was red and irritated and bleeding in some places. As a sliver of sunshine made it into the room and shone on her face, and Merlin flinched violently away, nearly falling off the bed in the process. Arthur stared in astonishment at the young girl he was seeing.

"What-what's wrong with her?" Gwaine whispered brokenly. Everyone looked to Gaius and Deidre for answers, and saw a look of sadness on the latter's face. Before they could answer however, Merlin suddenly jumped from her spot curled on the cot and burst from the door of the little cottage. Everyone stood still for a moment, before rushing out the door (although Arthur was fairly certain he could see Matai forcibly grab his father to make him move, but he could be wrong). They followed after a sprinting Merlin, who was surprisingly fast for such a clumsy girl, but at Deidre's command they stopped at the edge of the now dubbed Fairy Field. Gwaine growled at the sorceress. "What's wrong with her? What is happening?"

"She's been suppressing her magic," Deidre said solemnly.

Arthur lost his patience. "And what _exactly _does that mean?"

Suddenly a piercing scream ripped through the field and everyone turned to see Merlin standing, stock still, arms out at her sides, and glowing a bright golden color. Everyone stiffened as they felt a shockwave of pure power rush past them, _through them, _and totally surround their beings. Arthur gasped again, but in recognition, he was surprised to realize. He was sure he had felt this before, this warmth and before unknown sense of complete safety, and he came to the sudden, sure conclusion, that it was Merlin. Or at least, Merlin's magic. And the Prince of Camelot knew, without a doubt, that this did not by any means, evil.

The golden light that was Merlin's magic spread throughout the surrounding area, bringing in harsh winds and practically tearing at the earth beneath their feet. After this continued, Arthur began to worry for the little girl. He noticed the others staring at Merlin with complete astonishment, and was about to voice his concerns when suddenly the golden light –the magic, Arthur's rational mind reminded him gently- seeped into the ground like water in a desert. The winds died around them, and the flowers seemed to grow taller and fuller in their color. Then, it all stopped.

There was stillness, and except for Merlin's harsh breathing, complete silence. Even the birds had stopped chirping around them. Then Merlin pitched forward into the grass. Before she hit the ground, however, a large ball of light encircled her middle and held her upright. More little lights began to surround her, and Arthur realized that the fairies were carrying Merlin. The same fairy that first spoke to Merlin when she was five, Meara, flew up and landed softly on the child's forehead. She gazed down at the young witch and shook her head sadly. "Oh, my Lady," she said sadly. "Do not fret, young one. There is someone here to help you." Merlin murmured incoherently and shifted slightly before falling still again. The fairies began to carry her to back to the village, where they met a frantic looking Hunith at the edge of the field.

The mother sobbed in relief. "Oh, Meara, thank you," she told the fairy when she saw her daughter being carried along on the backs of the fairies. Meara just smiled softly at her.

"It was no bother, Hunith, we are happy to help."

Hunith shook her head. "I just don't understand, what happened to her? Was that...was that Merlin that I felt earlier?"

The small creature nodded her head. "Merlin was suppressing her magic, Hunith. Though we cannot say for sure, we believe it was because of the remarks that were made in the village." Hunith's face darkened considerably at the mention of the comments, as did most of the company watching. "Has he arrived yet?"

Hunith nodded slowly, and narrowed her eyes at the fairy. "You sent for him, didn't you," she accused.

Meara simply nodded again. "I am sorry, Hunith, but he can help her. Merlin needs someone to teach her control. It is not as though he is a stranger-"

"He is to her. Merlin doesn't even know she has an uncle, besides Gaius. Adding Deagan to the mix will just make her ask more questions about her father."

Gaius started violently at the name, and he gaped at the fairy and his sister.

"It cannot be…" Surprisingly, Uther was the one that spoke. He looked slightly pale, but mostly shocked. Arthur immediately grew suspicious, and it only grew as a young, dark haired man drew up beside Hunith. His eyes were a light brown, his build skinny but still showing some slight amount of muscle. His hair was cut short, close to his skull, and they could see the triskelion druid tattoo on his neck. The man bowed respectfully to Meara and gave a wan smile to Hunith.

"Technically, I am not her uncle, I am her cousin, Hunith." Hunith merely rolled her eyes at Deagan. He then turned to face Merlin, and gazed at her for a moment. "I can see her father in her," he whispered. He shook himself and turned back to Hunith. "Shall we, my dear?" And he led her, and the fairies carrying Merlin, back to the village.

Arthur turned slowly to face his father, who looked simply sick from the color he had lost in his face. "Father," he said. "How do you know this man?" Uther simply stared blankly at his son, and Arthur was about two seconds away from hitting the man when Gaius answered.

"Deagan worked in the palace, before the Purge. He was the nephew of Merlin's father."

"He was Balinor's nephew." Arthur, Leon and Gaius stiffened at Uther's whispered statement. Arthur's mind was whirling, going a mile a minute with this new revelation. Deagan worked in the palace, under his father, with his uncle. His uncle's name was Balinor. Deagan was the nephew of Merlin's father.

Merlin's father was Balinor.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello all! Yes, I live. I'm so sorry it's been taking so long for updates. A friend of mine passed away, we're getting ready for not one, but BOTH of my houses to be sold so we've been packing and doing open houses, another friend of mine is going through a rough patch at her house so I've been helping her out, and I've been busy with schoolwork and finals. Words cannot describe how sorry I am that I have not been consistent with my updates, but that shall be remedied since it is now summer.**

**So, after a few questions I've gotten, I'm going to clarify this again: This fic is set between seasons 3 and 4. Morgana and Morgouse did take over the kingdom, everything is cannon until the very end. Morgana had managed to heal Morgouse, and she ran to Uther, claiming that she was under an enchantment, and that was why she took over Camelot. Uther, the oblivious fool that he is, believed her, yada yada yada, and thus this fic was born. Morgana is NOT good, (at least, not right now she isn't…) and she is still working with Morgouse.**

**And with that, on with the story!**

**I do not own Merlin, or any of its characters. Except my OC's. They're mine. Not yours. Mine.**

**~0~**

Arthur wondered just how many surprises he could handle before he passed out from the sheer emotional exhaustion of it all.

Not only had he finally realized that he was, in fact, in love with his maidservant (though he was still a bit hesitant to admit it to himself, even if it was rather blatantly obvious), he had also learned that:

1) She had magic, and had kept it hidden from everyone except Lancelot and Gaius

2) His father had killed innocent people in his blind, irrational anger

3) Merlin was not only a magic user, but apparently a very powerful one as well

And 4) Merlin's father was the Dragonlord Balinor.

And though Arthur was starting to see that maybe magic wasn't inherently evil, it was still something he was trying to come to terms with. His father had taught him practically since he was able to walk that all magic was evil, and sorcerers couldn't be trusted, and to be quite honest, none of the sorcerers or magical things Arthur had ever seen or dealt with –bar the druid Iseldir and, now it seemed, Merlin- seemed to be all that trustworthy. Every one of them so far had tried to kill him. Granted, Arthur could understand _why _they wanted revenge on the throne, but over two decades of teachings could not be changed over the course of a couple days.

Gwaine seemed to disagree.

The knight constantly had a scowl in place, especially when Arthur was near. The Prince knew he was protective of Merlin, as the man constantly went on about how Merlin was in fact his long lost little sister and it was his duty to protect her from harm, but really, it was getting rather ridiculous. Though Arthur was starting to worry a bit; he had never seen Gwaine this angry. The man was always smirks and crude jokes and a seemingly constant state of drunkenness. It was extremely disturbing to see the jovial knight so hostile, especially towards him. Arthur knew damn well that there was no lost love between nobility and Gwaine, though he had hoped that when Gwaine was knighted, he would have let go of that resentment, seeing as it would be rather hypocritical to hate all nobles when you were one yourself. Apparently, Arthur thought wrong.

After a few more tense moments of silence, Arthur faced his knight. "Is there something you wish to say to me, Sir Gwaine," he asked.

That was enough prompting for Gwaine, who fully faced the prince and stalked forward. Lancelot looked weary, as though expecting this to happen, while Gwen and Gaius had wary expressions on their faces. It seemed many were waiting for the inevitable explosion of the knight in question.

"Why yes, Princess, there are some things I would like to say."

Lancelot, bless him, tried to intervene and stop the fight before it began. "Gwaine, don't." He tried to put a hand on his friend's shoulder but it passed right through. Arthur had almost forgotten that they couldn't touch one another while they were here, and was only slightly relieved that he would not have to defend himself against his knight physically. All thoughts flew from his head, however, when Gwaine stood nearly three inches from his face. "I want you to know, that if you do anything to harm Merlin in any way, shape, or form, I will kill you."

Uther growled from somewhere behind Arthur, and tried to move himself forward despite the harsh looks he got from the ones around him. "How dare you-"

"Your Majesty, I am not speaking to you, so if you would kindly _shut your trap-_"

"Father, please leave this between Gwaine and myself," Arthur interrupted before things could escalate any further. Uther glared at his son and went to respond, but a sharp jerk of the head from Gaius stopped him, and he reluctantly went to stand near the physician. Arthur looked back at his knight with as blank a face that he could manage and said, "I have no intention of harming Merlin, Gwaine."  
The knight scoffed. "Right, and just how do you expect me to believe that? Merlin has magic," Arthur just barely managed to control the natural flinch and look of disgust that came from hearing that word, "And you really expect me to stand here and tell us that you're fine with that?"

"I don't really care-"

"I know how you think, Arthur. 'All magic is evil. It has taken my mother, and my sister from me, and is not to be trusted.'" Gwaine glared at him. "Sound familiar, your Highness?" He spat the title like an insult, and Arthur felt the tenuous control he had over his emotions crack.

"Yes, Gwaine, I did say that. Because it was true. My mother is dead, and Morgana was under the control of Morgouse for nearly _two years, _not to mention the small fact that I have been taught since birth to not trust magic, as many magic users have tried to kill me or my father multiple times over. "

"But they are not Merlin! Merlin would never do that to you, or Camelot! You have no right to discriminate her with the others that have hurt you!"

"_I'm trying!_" Arthur screamed. Everyone took a step away from him as he let his inner turmoil show. "I am _trying_, Gwaine. One half of me is screaming at me to kill the sorceress, to kill the _magic," _Deidre and Matai flinched from the venom in the prince's tone, "because that is all I've ever known. It's all I've ever been taught, all I've ever seen! Everything ever to be associated with magic has tried to kill me thus far, so pardon me if I find it a bit hard to believe that someone with magic has been looking out for me."

"But why is it so hard?" Gwaine pressed, still staring at the prince with an accusing and angry expression. He took a few steps closer and clenched his fists. "Why is it so hard to believe that Merlin is good?"

"Because I trusted her!" Arthur snarled. "I trusted her, with my thoughts, with my feelings, with Camelot's secrets and my secrets and _my life._ She has lied, to all of us! I trusted her, and she didn't tell me!" And that's what this all really came down to. Trust. Arthur felt himself deflate a bit and tried to calm his harsh breathing. He trusted Merlin completely, more so than he ever though he could trust someone, and she didn't trust him enough to tell him that she had magic. She didn't trust him, even after everything they had been through together, and that alone hurt. A lot. He pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes, hoping to stave off the tell-tale stinging behind them. _'I will not cry,' _he thought aggressively.

Gwaine felt his own anger dissipate in the face of Arthur's defeated and conflicted expression. Slowly uncurling his fingers, he ran them through his hair. '_Damn that girl,' _he thought ruefully. She must have been rubbing off on him, because the look on his prince's face tore a bit at his heartstrings. He sighed harshly and looked Arthur in the eyes. "You said only half of you was saying that. What is the other half saying?" he asked.

Arthur sighed as well and felt the last of his anger at Gwaine slip away like sand through his fingers. He straightened slightly and responded, "The other half of me is berating the former's stupidity and close-mindedness, and insisting that the Merlin I know is the same. That she is good, and caring, and wise, and clumsy and a complete and utter _idiot_." Arthur smiled wanly. "It's telling me to see the rest of the memories before I cast judgement on my friend." Then, his face twisted into a slightly fond-but-bewildered expression. "It actually sounds suspiciously like Merlin, now that I think about it."

Gwaine chuckled into the impending silence and finally relaxed his aggressive stance. He could see out of the corner of his eye that the other knights relaxed as well, but chose not to acknowledge it. He smirked at Arthur, who was now standing straight and tall; like a prince. "Aye," he said. "She has a way of getting under one's skin, doesn't she?" Arthur chuckled as well, and the remaining tension was gone between the two of them. Gwaine nodded his head to Arthur, then turned to face Deidre. "When will the next memory come up?" he asked politely to the sorceress. Arthur was slightly shocked to realize that he was not, indeed, flirting with the woman. He was simply asking plainly. '_Will wonders never cease?' _

Deidre glanced at him with wide eyes, almost as if making sure he was alright, but nodded. "In a few minutes they will start again." She glanced around at the people before her and looked at Matai. "I do believe we could all do with a little time to think, and eat." Matai nodded and held out his hands. His eyes flashed gold and a large bowl of fruit appeared in his arms. Deidre did the same and conjured a pitcher of water for them to share. They continued to hold them out, and as it was very clear that no one would be stepping forward, Deidre rolled her eyes. "Really," she huffed. "It's not poisoned. Why would I bring you all here and not have you at least finish the memories?" A few looked chastised, and finally, Lancelot took the leap of faith and took a bunch of grapes from the sorcerer. That prompted everyone else to take some fruit and a cup of water, and the knights nodded their thanks to the two magic users. Gwen smiled shyly at Deidre as she reached for an orange, and Deidre smiled back- though somewhat hesitantly. The sorceress felt her heart leap, and she could tell that Matai was starting to hope as well. Slowly, they were starting to see that not all magic was evil. Slowly. But they were getting there, and that was enough for the hope in Deidre's stomach to grow.

Leon threw one of the apples he had snagged to Gwaine, who grinned in thanks, before walking over to Morgana. The Lady was standing a bit away from the group with a worried expression on her face. Normally, Leon would not have hesitated to know what was wrong with Camelot's ward. But after the past year, after Morgouse's armies took over the kingdom and Morgana proclaimed herself queen, the knight was wary around her. He was there when Morgana proclaimed her innocence, when she insisted that she was under her sister's spell and would never do anything to endanger Camelot or Uther. Of course the King believed her and welcomed his beloved ward-and-daughter with open arms, but Leon did not know what to believe. He was sure that he had seen a look of contempt cross the Lady's face when Uther had hugged her. Leon had noticed, as had a few others in the court, the Morgana wasn't like she was before. She had been brash and loud, and somewhat arrogant to those around her, yes, but she had been kind. Morgana had cared for the people of Camelot. Now, there was an air of darkness around her. It was subtle, and one would have to look closely to know what they were looking for, or at, but Leon knew what he saw, and he did not know how to act around the lady anymore.

Leon was brought back to the ride, before they had been ambushed. He had noticed the tension between Merlin and Morgana. Once they had been friends he knew; he had seen Morgana, Gwen and Merlin chatting and laughing together on more than one occasion, but then Merlin had distanced herself from Camelot's ward, and soon was avoiding her at all costs. Leon had seen the looks shared between Merlin and Gaius after Camelot was retaken when Morgana had laid her claim. They did not believe her, of that Leon was certain. Even Guinevere had expressed concerns to the physician. Those three were easily the closest to Morgana, and if they did not trust her, Leon didn't think it wise for any of them to either. He made a mental note to remind the others of this before he reached Morgana.

"My Lady," he said as he bowed. Morgana started and turned to face him, a small smile on her face. Leon could tell it was forced, but he did not comment on it. Instead, he brought out the water and strawberries he was able to take for her. "I thought you might be hungry." Morgana's smile turned a bit more genuine as she took the berries.

"My thanks, Sir Leon." He nodded and turned away, intending to walk back to the others, but Morgana's loud sigh stopped him.

"My Lady? Is something the matter?" he asked. Morgana looked worried for a moment, before she nodded.

"I just…I wonder, about Merlin." Leon tensed, but forced himself to remain calm. He nodded for her to continue. "Why would she have kept this a secret for so long, do you think? I thought we were her friends…" She looked up at him through her lashes, and Leon saw a certain gleam in them that made him shudder. "If she did not trust us, then I wonder what her real motives are."

Leon froze completely. He could not believe this was happening. "You don't think-"

"I don't know," Morgana interrupted. "But I do not think we can easily trust Merlin, especially not now."

The knight could not believe what he was hearing. Morgana was attempting to turn him against Merlin, against his friend. All of Leon's earlier suspicions solidified in his mind, and he nodded to himself. Morgana could not be trusted. Fortunately, Morgana thought the nod was acknowledging what she had attested to, and she smiled in obviously fake relief. "So you believe me, then?" Before he could speak, however, Morgana leaned closer towards him. "Pass it along to the knights. They trust your judgement. I'm sure you'll be able to convince them," she murmured. Slowly, Leon nodded to her and turned to leave, all too happy to be rid of her presence. The senior knight shook his head slightly and gazed at the others around him. He would started with Gwaine, he decided. The knight would do anything to prevent any harm befalling Merlin, whether in action or word. He'd be the easiest to convince of Morgana's betrayal. _'Oh yes,' _he thought. _'I'll be able to convince them…' _

**~0~**

Soon, everyone had eaten their full of the fruit available, and they waited for the next memory. They didn't have to wait long, however, for soon the world around them began to swirl and ripple. Gwen waited anxiously for the next memory to show. She desperately wanted to know more about her friend's life before Camelot. No one really knew much about Merlin's past, no matter how much they asked. The maid was always vague in her answers, or avoided them entirely. Now, Gwen realized, if this was what was happening within the first seven years of her life, then it was no wonder she didn't speak of anything having to do with her old life.

"You're worried about her." Gwen startled at the sudden voice next to her and turned to face Deidre. The sorceress was close, but not enough to be uncomfortable. Gwen nodded and sighed.

"She never spoke of her time as a child. Even when we visited Ealdor before, she didn't tell us anything. We know she had a friend, and we've seen her mother, but that was all." Deidre nodded and took a small step closer, hesitantly, as if she was afraid Gwen would berate her for it. Gwen felt her heart go out to the woman in front of her and smiled slightly to show she was okay with the closeness. Deidre seemed to relax slightly in response.

"Honestly, I'm a bit surprised the lot of you haven't turned against her." Gwen's eyes widened at the bluntness of her statement, and the sorceress only shrugged. "She has magic. I figured that, of all people, Camelot's citizens-especially the knights-would see her as the enemy."

Immediately Gwen started shaking her head. "You're wrong," she insisted. "Merlin is like a sister to the knights, especially to these six. Gwaine especially would never let anyone harm her, as we have seen." Deidre chuckled lightly and nodded in agreement. "There are many in Camelot that hate magic, I will not deny you that. But there are many more that fear it simply because we do not know. The people of Camelot have only seen one side to magic. We have not been given the opportunity to see any other." Gwen sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "I believe, that if anyone would be able to change their minds, and to show them that magic is not evil, it would be Merlin."

Deidre stared at her in shock. Gwen could tell that the sorceress was stunned not only by her words, but by the honesty behind them. Because Gwen did believe it, wholeheartedly. Merlin had somehow managed to capture the heart of most of the citizens of Camelot. It was seemingly impossible not to care for her, with her bright personality and her constant smiles. Nothing seemed to get her down, and it lifted the spirits of the city. Gwen loved her dearly, and knew the others did too. Deidre seemed to grasp that belief, because tears began to gather in her eyes and she smiled.

"Merlin is lucky indeed," she whispered, "to have such friends as you."

Gwen smiled and stepped forward, reaching her hand out for the sorceress. When her hand simply went through Deidre's arm, she blushed and pulled it back awkwardly. "I'm sorry, I…forgot-"

"No, no," Deidre interrupted breathlessly. "It…it's alright." She blinked a couple of times to stop the tears from overflowing and smiled brilliantly at Gwen. "Thank you."

Gwen looked at the sorceress in confusion. "Whatever for?" she asked. Deidre just laughed and grinned even wider.

"For showing that not everyone hates our kind." Before Gwen could respond, she noticed that colors began to bleed into the swirl of gray around them. Together, she and Deidre moved closer to the group and waited for the memory to begin.

Lancelot looked around the forest that now surrounded them. The trees were black, and nearly dead from the snow and frost covering them. Sunlight streaked through the openings in the branches and the ice glistened and sparkled, creating small rainbows all around them. Behind him, he could see the Fairy Field, completely covered in frost. Lancelot smiled slightly, and could see Gwen and Deidre admiring their surroundings as well. "It's beautiful," Gwen breathed. In that moment, however, Lancelot came to the conclusion that nothing in this field or forest sparkled as brightly as her eyes did.

He was torn from his thoughts, however, when a flash of blue ran through him-literally. Gwaine shouted in surprise and reeled away from the small body that tore through their group, startling everyone into awareness. The body stopped abruptly and turned, facing them all. Bright blue eyes and pale skin greeted them, and Lancelot smiled at the little Merlin. She was older now, ten years old at the latest, and the impishness was nowhere near gone in her eyes. She grinned and lifted the hood of her dark blue cloak over her head, then started walking deeper into the forest.

"Do we…follow her?" Lancelot turned looked at Deidre, who nodded.

"If we do not voluntarily, the magic will bring us to her. We might as well go now."

Soon the group was trailing after the child. Lancelot noticed the slight fascination that was in Merlin's gaze as she looked around the forest. She slowed slightly, and veered towards a frost covered bush to their right. She looked at it for a moment, before kneeling in front of the bush. Elyan moved forward until he stood next to Lancelot and glanced at him. "What is she doing?" he asked. Before anyone could answer, Merlin raised her hands and let them hover over the bush. She held them there for a moment, before slowly moving them to the sides. As her arms moved, the frost moved with her, lifting from the bush in chunks of crystal. Soon a large ring of ice made its way around Merlin's body, reminding Lancelot of when the Fairies would circle her in the field, then Merlin threw her hands out and the ice scattered. No one knew where the crystals landed, nor did they really care. What everyone was watching was the little witch in front of them.

Merlin stared at the newly-uncovered rose bush in front of her with glee clear in her sapphire eyes. The scarlet of the rose petals stood out greatly against the stark white surrounding it, and Merlin grinned and let a small giggle slip past her lips at her finding. Lancelot smiled affectionately at the young girl before them and faced the others. They all had varying degrees of smiles on their faces, though Uther's looked more like a grimace than anything else. Lancelot spared a glance for Morgana and could clearly see the hate burning in her eyes, despite the sweet smile stretched across her face. Lancelot remembered Leon's words from earlier, about how Morgana had attempted to convince the senior knight of Merlin's deceit. The knight had assured the others that he did not believe a word that Morgana had said, but warned them to be wary around her. He also informed them of his suspicions towards the lady, as well as his thoughts on Merlin's behavior to Camelot's ward. Lancelot added a bit, going from what Merlin had told him, and the knights were all in agreement; Morgana was not in any way, shape, or form, to be trusted.

Unfortunately, they could not inform Arthur of their decision. Gwaine believed they should have, but they all knew it would not help matters. They had all just witnessed his breakdown, and knew he would not be able to take another blow so hard just yet, especially after just regaining Camelot from Morgana's cruel control.

Suddenly, a loud snap cut through the silent forest.

Merlin's head snapped up immediately, her muscles tensing as she held completely still, ready to flee at any moment. Many of the knights had frozen as well, and when the second crack sounded they all rested their hands on the hilts of their swords out of reflex. Lancelot and Elyan moved closer to Gwen, who was gathered near Deidre and Matai. Lancelot noticed distantly that Deidre had moved herself in front of Gwen protectively, and that Arthur had positioned himself next to Merlin, while the King and Gaius were surrounded by the other knights. He also realized, belatedly, that not one of them could do anything as they were in a memory, but they had all acted out of pure instinct. Lancelot heard Merlin's gasp and turned swiftly to see what she was looking at, and felt the air rush out of his lungs.

Standing nearly two feet before the kneeling child was the largest wolf Lancelot had ever seen- nearly the size of a bear, and black as a starless night- and carrying in its jaws a small bundle of equally-as-black fur. The two stared at another for a moment before the wolf lowered the bundle to the ground softly, and took two steps away before collapsing. It was then that Lancelot noticed the pool of blood seeping into the white snow, turning into a pink-ish color, beneath the wolf.

Merlin seemed to notice this as well, for she rushed to the wolf and kneeled next to it. Arthur stared in disbelief at the small child before him, before scoffing and running a hand through his hair. "I really shouldn't be surprised that Merlin would attempt to help the beast that could quite possibly eat her in one bite. Yet I am."

Deidre hissed like an angry cat and glared at Arthur. "That is no beast," she practically snarled, making those around her take a small step back. "That, Prince Arthur, is a dire wolf. One of the last in existence, if I am correct."

Arthur stared blankly at the sorceress before him. Matai noticed this, and started explaining when it was clear Deidre wasn't going to continue. "Dire wolves are revered in the magical community. They are a direct link to many of our Gods, and a symbol of protectiveness and loyalty. They are fiercely loyal creatures, not only to their own pack, but to the ones they choose to bond to."

"Bond to?" Elyan interrupted. "What exactly is that?"

"Many druids believe that people can closely resemble certain animals based on their personality and actions. A spirit animal, if you will." Here, Deidre interjected.

"A spirit animal represents the most dominant aspect of your personality. Faithfulness, intelligence, courage. It is a physical representation of your soul. If one is lucky enough to find their spirit animal, the animal will bond itself to the human, therefore strengthening whatever it is they represent."

"And let me guess, there have been only a few in number that have bonded with a dire wolf, because they are so rare?" Deidre confirmed Gwaine's only-slightly-sarcastic-but-mostly-awed question, and the knight threw up his hands in wonder.

"Not only because of the creature's rareness, but of the trait they represent." Percival looked at the sorceress in confusion.

"Loyalty is not that uncommon a trait," he said haltingly, as though he wasn't sure his comment would be correct. Deidre looked at him for a moment, making him flush from the attention, before she smiled slightly and shook her head.

"No, it is not, Sir Knight." Percival flushed again at the implication behind her warm words before she turned serious again. "But the fierce, overwhelming loyalty to one or more persons is. Dire wolves will protect the ones they call pack to the death with absolutely no hesitation. They are even more willing to kill. Those traits alone are difficult to find among humans, for we tend to be selfish, and we are often led astray by what we believe to be the right path." She threw a heated glance towards Uther, who only glared in return, then turned to face Merlin. "A human willing not only to die for the ones they love, but to kill, is a dangerous person indeed. They will do anything and everything to protect the people they care about. They are the ones that most druids worried about crossing."

Matai snorted and smiled wryly at the young Merlin kneeling in front of the wolf. "Not to mention that this little child has magic beyond anything anyone has ever seen. I pray for those that cross this one."

Arthur did not miss the significant looks passed between Gaius and Lancelot, but Merlin's voice stopped him before he could question it. "What happened," she asked softly. The wolf whimpered in response, but Merlin soon caught sight of something. Her breath hitched and she paled, dangerously so, but she fixed her wide eyes on the wolf's flank. "This is going to hurt," she whispered, before grasping something they couldn't see. Then she pulled her arm sharply, and with a sickening squelch and a pained yelp a long dagger came out of the wolf's hide. Arthur stared in shock at the little girl in front of him, and he heard Deidre's gasp at the sight of the bloodied weapon. Merlin gingerly set the dagger on the ground behind her. Glaring harshly at it she growled, "Who did this to you?" Again, Arthur was left staring at the girl in wonder. She sounded remarkably like a wolf in that moment, and it was rather disconcerting to hear a child so animalistic.

Merlin then shook herself and let her hands hover over its flank again. "I-I can…try to heal you." But when she looked down, all that she was met with were dull yellow eyes and a still body. The dire wolf was dead. The child seemed to grasp this, for tears started pouring down her cheeks and she sobbed, smoothing the dark fur on its head. Soon she simply collapsed into the wolf's massive neck, curling her fingers into the fur. The already small child was dwarfed immensely by the giant wolf but paid it no mind as she cuddled closer to it.

Arthur could hear Gwen muffling sobs of her own and Deidre was trying valiantly to stifle her own sniffles, while Matai and Gaius simply let the tears roll unashamedly down their cheeks. The prince was fighting for control over his emotions as well. This child simply was not dealt good cards. From what they had all seen so far, Merlin has not had an altogether pleasant childhood, and to watch this animal die in front of her seemed just cruel. _'It's not fair. Merlin didn't deserve this.' _

Just then the sound of shuffling registered with the group. They looked down to see the little ball of fur moving clumsily towards the young witch. Merlin's sobs quieted and she lifted her head to watch the small dire wolf stumble to the lifeless body. It started pawing weakly at the giant wolf before letting out a pitiful whine and burying its head into the thick fur only a shade darker than its own. Gwen covered her mouth with her hands as Merlin looked at them with a heart-broken expression. Soon she removed her hands from the wolf's pelt, rubbed her red-rimmed eyes and scooped up the pup.

"Don't worry," she said hoarsely. "I'll look after her. She'll be safe with me." Merlin looked morosely at the dead dire wolf once more before she wrapped her cloak around the pup and started trudging back to her village, not looking back at the dead wolf or the blood-coated dagger laying in the snow. "I think I'll call you…Caryn." Her soft words floated back to the group, and they watched, in silence, as the child entered the Fairy Field and the memory began to dissipate.

No one spoke. Morgana had tears in her eyes and looked at nothing in particular, while Deidre looked at the body of the dire wolf with a pained expression. Matai lifted his hand and let it hover over her shoulder, but remembered that he could not actually touch her and let it drop to his side. She looked at her friend with tear-filled eyes and he smiled sadly at her. _'We're barely halfway through this girl's memories, and look what's happened,' _he thought. Matai knew Deidre had heard him when she simply nodded. _'It makes me wonder,' _he continued, _'just what it is we've gotten ourselves into, Deidre.' _When she gave no implication that she would respond, Matai sighed. _'You saw her in the castle. You heard what she said. Given what I know about her now, I'm surprised she didn't kill you on the spot.' _

'_She is Emrys,' _Deidre responded sharply. _'She would not-'_

'_Emrys or no, we threatened her people. We hurt her pack, Deidre. It does not matter to her if we have magic or not. She's bonded with a dire wolf, Deidre, or at least she will be. I'm scared to think of what she'll do when she wakes.' _

Deidre paled and clenched her shaking hands into fists, silently worrying as well.

All she could hope was that Merlin didn't kill them before they could speak in their defense. Though, right now, she wasn't holding out that much hope.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello all! So guys, I'm an official writer now! I've gotten my first bad review! WOOHOO! Although, it was technically one person that put in three different reviews. To the person that shall remain unnamed, as I am not a tattler, I have a few questions/comments.**

**1) I am honestly trying not to sound snide or snarky or anything, this is a genuine question: Is English your first language? Because I'm going to be honest, the first couple of times I read the reviews I was focusing on the questionable grammatical structure of your sentences rather than what they contained.**

**2) It is not mind rape, as Merlin literally gave them permission to focus on her memories, and it is only her memories they are seeing. Mind rape would be forcibly making their way through her entire mind, not only having access to her memories, but her thoughts, and her emotions, and everything in between, either manipulating them or destroying them completely and in the process making her an entirely different person. **

**3) In what way do you see Merlin as weak or pathetic? If you could inform me of such, I can do my best to fix that problem**

**4) Why yes, I am considering letting Morgana redeem herself in my story. Why, do you ask? Because it's my goddamn story and I can do what I want with it.**

**And 5), If my story was such a waste of your time, why did you waste even more of it reading the entire thing and reviewing? Also, there is a difference between criticism and hatefulness, and you, dear friend, crossed multiple times into the realm of hate. If you were trying to hurt my feelings, I'm sorry to say it did not work, because even if I did have feelings it would take a lot more than telling me my work is "trash" and "just pathetic" to hurt them. I commend your effort, though.**

**Anyways, thank you to everyone that reviewed, and GUYS! I've reached over 200 followers! It means so much to me that I have so many people invested in my story. I love you all dearly, even though I do not know you. Thank you so, so much guys, y'all are the bestest in the world. **

**One more thing, Caryn's name is pronounced "Car (like an automobile, a car) – Inn". Caryn. **

**I do not own Merlin, unfortunately. Don't sue me I don't have that kind of money. Or any money, really.**

**~0~**

There was no rest in between the previous memory and the next, as there had been before. Soon, colors began blending into the gray swirl of smoke around them, and everyone watched closely for the next one to come up.

Images began moving before them, not forming a solid, continuous memory like what they had seen, but smaller snippets of time for them to witness. Merlin, huddled at next to her mother and Deagan in front of their unlit fire, shivering. A mound of black fur said in front of the child, and Arthur realized with a start that it was the dire wolf pup, Caryn. "Concentrate, Merlin," Deagan said softly. "Imagine the fire flickering to life in one of the bundle of twigs, then growing and strength." Merlin nodded dutifully and set her blue-eyed gaze onto the logs before her, staring for a moment, before her eyes flashed their startlingly golden color as without a sound, the wood lit. Flames licked at the larger logs on top of the pile, and soon the small family had the fire roaring before them. Deagan smiled proudly at his niece and Hunith chuckled at Merlin crawled over the pup to move closer to the fireplace, all the while beaming at her daughter. Merlin simply looked amazed.

"I did that," she asked, staring at the fire. As the memory started fading, they could see a smile spreading across the young girl's face. "I did this," she repeated firmly, giggling in obvious pride when Caryn licked her chin.

The next image that came about was Deagan kneeling before Merlin, who was sat in one of the chairs at the small table. The druid was wrapping her hand in a bandage, and Arthur saw a small amount of blood soaking through the fabric, and he winced. Once Deagan was finished, he looked up at his niece, who was hiding her eyes. He sighed and gripped her chin in his hands, forcing her eyes to meet his own. The poor girl looked wretched, with tears in her eyes and an expression resembling a kicked puppy adorning her face. "What have your mother and I told you, little bird," Deagan muttered. Though there was no anger in his voice, Merlin still flinched guiltily.

"Do not use magic in public," she said just as softly as her uncle had. Deagan just nodded. "I'm sorry, Uncle Deagan."

The man sighed, and a deep seated sadness entered his brown eyes as he looked at the child before him. "There will be a day, Merlin." Deagan finally said. "There will be a day when you can show the people of this world your gift. There will be a day when you will be accepted with open arms for the power you possess." Merlin sniffled, staring at her uncle with wide eyes, holding onto every word that fell from his lips. "Until then, little bird, you must show the world exactly why it can accept you, and others like you. You show the world that you are special."

"But how do I do that, Uncle? My magic is what makes me special."

"No," Deagan denied immediately. "Your magic is not what makes you special." Merlin's eyes teared up again and she looked down, upset by his words, but Deagan continued. "Your heart, Merlin, is what makes you special." Blue eyes met brown again and the druid smiled. "You have an exceptionally caring nature, Merlin. You help people, even when they do not help you. Your eyes see the beauty of this world far easier than any others, though you are aware of the evil that lies in it. You love completely, and are kind to those that do not always deserve it."

Merlin interrupted here. "The only ones that suggest that people don't deserve kindness, Uncle, are the ones that don't believe they deserve it themselves." She gave him a very pointed look.

Deagan chuckled lowly and shook his head slightly. "And you are wise beyond your years, especially for one so small." He moved his hand from her chin to brush a stray curl from her face and cupped her cheek softly in his hand. "Your magic is part of you, Merlin, but it will not be the reason people come to love you as much as you do them. When others realize this, they will begin to accept you fully. Have heart, for you do have people that love you, and you will have even more, not for what you possess, but for who you are." Merlin smiled and nodded, then leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her uncle's neck. The observing group looked on as the memory then blended in with the smoke surrounding them, all silently reveling at the girl they were lucky to call their friend.

Arthur marveled at the wisdom that came from both of the magic-user's mouths just then, and smiled wryly. _'So that's where she got her wisdom from,' _he mused and chuckled softly. At Lancelot's questioning glance, Arthur shook his head softly. No words were needed between the two men, for Lancelot understood completely what he was saying.

"This is rather baffling, isn't it?" Arthur joined Lancelot's chuckling, drawing the attention of the others to them. Both men brushed the strange looks they were getting off, somewhat used to it by now. They didn't have to wait long for the next memory to surface, though this one spread around them, indicating it was a rather long one.

The sun was shining brightly in Ealdor in this particular memory. Arthur looked down and realized that where frost originally was, fresh grass grew. He looked around the small village and grimaced slightly, recalling his own memory of the place. When he had arrived in Ealdor, there was barely enough food to feed the people living there, and the fields had been stripped bare of the wheat and crops that had grown. But this village, this one was bustling with life. Fresh vegetables were being picked by some of the women in one field, while men cut down the grains in the other. He looked closer, and saw Hunith picking what looked to be peas and green beans while Merlin held the basket for her. The child had certainly grown since the last memory, nearly reaching her mother's shoulders in height. Her face was well rounded, as was Hunith's, which was only further evidence of the village's bountiful harvest this year. Merlin was laughing at something her mother had said when suddenly a war cry sounded throughout the village.

"What the hell," Gwaine exclaimed in shock, looking around him. Merlin, meanwhile, immediately dropped the basket and grabbed her mother's hand, pulling them out of the field that was now turning into an archery range, and everyone turned to face the main part of the village. A dozen or so bandits rode into Ealdor, cutting down whomever crossed in their path. Arthur watched as Merlin and Hunith ducked around people, trying to reach Deagan who was on the other side of the bandits. Suddenly a shadow passed over the two, and they both turned to see one of the men leering at them. He brought his sword up, then let his arm swing down in an arc.

"Merlin!" Arthur had barely managed to croak out the warning when the memory suddenly slowed. Arthur looked at the others in confusion before turning his attention back to the scene in front of them. The bandit's arm was moving in slow motion towards Hunith's head when suddenly Merlin shoved her mother out of the way –Arthur noticed with a shock that the young girl was the only one moving at a normal speed- and held out her arm. Molten eyes flashed, and suddenly the sword was in Merlin's hand, and time moved normally once again. The bandit hardly had time to glance at his hand in confusion before Merlin was bring the sword down onto his leg.

The man howled in pain before falling face first into the dirt by Merlin's feet. Merlin looked ready to bring the sword down on his head when Hunith grabbed her arm. "Move!" she shouted to her daughter, and Merlin immediately turned on her heel and followed her mother.

The knights watched with revulsion as they watched the bandits bring down men and women, some that were elderly. Their revulsion morphed into horror as the bandits started snatching children out of their mother's arms and placing them in a large wagon carrying a cage. The children were screaming, and mothers were crying, trying to fight back to their children, but it was no use. Gwaine clenched his teeth so hard Matai was sure he could hear them cracking, though he was in the same mindset. _'They're taking all of the children, most likely to be sold into slavery. This is barbaric.' _

Hunith's shriek brought all thoughts a halt. "MERLIN!" They faced the woman and found her kneeling next to her unconscious and bleeding nephew-in-law and staring in absolute terror as her daughter was dragged into the cage by several of the men. The child was writhing in their hands, kicking and screaming, doing whatever she could to get away from the men. Everything, that is, except use her magic.

"Why isn't she doing anything?" Morgana asked. Percival noticed that she looked somewhat repulsed by the idea of pretending to care for Merlin, and the knight had to remind himself that even if he wanted to bash the woman's head in with the butt of his sword he couldn't, because Deidre's magic prevented them from touching one another. He was, however, wondering the same thing.

Merlin was tossed unceremoniously into the caged wagon and the men closed the door, locking it with an echoing _CLANG_. A boy around her age came to her side, helping her sit up. He had shaggy brown hair and light brown eyes, prominent cheekbones and a somewhat flat nose. He was rather plain looking, and still dirty from working in the fields that morning. "Are you alright," he whispered. Merlin nodded and smiled in thanks. "My name is William." He stuck out his hand for Merlin to shake, but Arthur didn't even hear her response because his attention was now locked onto William. Gwen and Morgana also stared at him, the former with a sad expression that confused the others.

"Arthur, what is it?" Uther came to stand next to his son, also studying the farm boy. The king noted that when he moved the small crowd parted like the Red Sea, not wanting to be near him. Uther internally rolled his eyes at their childishness, knowing that the serving girl's memories would prove to everyone here, once and for all, that everything he has said about magic is true. Granted, the girl started out kind enough, with an innocence that can only be found in children, but Uther knew that once she reached Camelot that the magic would have corrupted her mind and soul, twisting it to do its evil bidding as it does to every man possessing magic. And then they would see the truth, _Arthur_ would see, and all would be well.

He was brought to attention when his son shook his head and sighed. "Nothing, it's just-William. He was Merlin's best friend, before she came to Camelot. He died in the bandit attack with Kanen when Morgana, Guinevere and I came here. He told us he had magic, that he had caused a wind storm to throw off the attackers, but," Here, Arthur paused and chuckled ruefully. "But I don't believe that he had an ounce of magic in him now."

"He was protecting Merlin," Uther glanced at Morgana's maidservant distastefully before facing the scene before him once more. He could distantly hear what appeared to be the leader of the group of bandits speaking to the entire village, but Merlin was focusing on the lock in front of her. She had moved away from William to stand in front of the door and was studying it intently, as if looking for weaknesses. When her blue eyes brightened, Uther stiffened, knowing the child would be performing magic. She glanced behind her, and seeing that the children were sufficiently not paying a lick of attention to her, faced the locked door again. Merlin slowly moved her arms between the bars and grabbed the massive metal padlock, and after a few moments of intense staring her eyes flashed a golden –the same gold color that haunted Uther's dreams- and the lock came away with a click.

She grinned, her eyes bleeding back to deep blue, but before she could remove the lock the sound of more shouting filled the village. Elyan watched with relief as a small band of Essetirian knights rode through, taking down every bandit in their path. The ones smart enough to flee did, though they didn't get very far before nearly half a dozen arrows were loosed into their backs, killing them instantly. One knight with nearly shoulder-length brown hair frantically looked at the gathered people. "Eleanor," he shouted. A slight woman with ash blond hair came running out of the crowd and immediately collapsed into his arms, and the man closed his eyes in relief. Soon, Eleanor was pulling away from him with a tears in her hazel eyes.

"Thomas, they-the children, they put them-cage, they took William-" She didn't even attempt finishing her stammered explanation because the knight –Thomas- was rushing to the cage now. Merlin quickly backed away from the door as it was thrown open again. All of the children looked up in fright, but William immediately jumped to his feet.

"Dad!" he screamed as he launched himself into his father's arms. Thomas cried out in relief and hugged his son tightly to his chest, then quickly pulled away to check his son for injury. When he found none, the knight smiled and carefully let him down. William quickly rushed away, presumably to his mother, if the relieved shout was any indication, and Thomas turned to look at the other children.

"Are any of you hurt?" His question was met by many sniffles and shaking heads and the children allowed him to help them out of their cage. Soon the happy cries of the children sounded as they rushed back to their parents. Thomas looked at Merlin and smiled reassuringly, though Merlin backed further into the cage, away from the knight. The man studied her with a small frown, then looked down as his son barreled into his side.

William looked at Merlin in confusion. "What are you still doing in there, Merlin?" He didn't give her a chance to answer; simply pushed himself back into the wagon and grabbed her hand. Merlin looked suitably startled but allowed the boy to drag her out. "Your mum's worried sick, and I think your uncle is awake," William reported. Merlin nodded again and started moving towards her house, but stopped when she realized William wasn't leaving.

"What're you doing?" William just looked at her, and Merlin looked pointedly down at his hand which was still encircling her wrist. "Why're you following me?"

"Because you're my friend now." Merlin's eyes widened so much that Arthur was vaguely worried they would fall out of her head completely. Slowly, her eyes narrowed in distrust at the boy.

"That's not funny," she said coldly and turned sharply away, only to jerk back when William didn't let go. "Look, William-"

"No, no, it's Will. Only my mother calls me William." His confidant stance deflated slightly under Merlin's glare, and Arthur smirked. No one was immune to the stare, it seemed. Finally, Will sighed and dropped his hand, looking at his shoes. "I saw what you did." Merlin's glare fell off her face and her face lost all color, terror clouding her sapphire eyes. "You pushed your mother out of the bandit's way, then cut him down from his horse." Now, the boy looked slightly embarrassed. "It was pretty brave, you know, for a girl." When Merlin didn't answer, Will looked up at her. Confusion once again came over his face and he frowned in worry. "What's that look for," he demanded.

Merlin looked near ready to collapse, but she managed a breathy response. "You…you saw me?" Will nodded though still looked lost. "Why don't you hate me," came the blunt question. Both children looked somewhat shocked at the question and Merlin suddenly seemed to find her boots fascinating.

"Why would I hate you? Because you pushed your mum out of the way?" Will seemed genuinely confused and extremely bewildered by the girl in front of him. Merlin seemed to realize this and shrugged in response.

"Most people don't like me."

"Well, those people are dollopheads." Merlin's head snapped up again and she giggled. Will smiled. Merlin looked intently at the boy in front of her for a moment before she relaxed, and Arthur realized that Will must not have seen her use magic. Both children turned when they heard Merlin's name being called, and saw that Hunith was holding up a somewhat dazed looking Deagan.

Merlin turned to face Will again. "You…you can, stay for dinner if you…want to?" The last words came out more like a question, as though she was worried Will might turn her down. Instead, the boy smiled triumphantly and ran back to his mother, who was watching them unashamedly. After a moment of speaking, Will ran back to Merlin and nodded. Merlin smiled brightly and led him to her house.

"Merlin," Hunith's guarded voice sounded as they drew closer. "Who's this?" Merlin glanced at Will again before facing her mother completely.

"This is my friend, Will. Will, this is my mum Hunith, and my Uncle Deagan." And with that, the memory ended, dissipating like smoke in the wind.

A deep chuckle sounded from behind Arthur, and the prince turned to see Elyan smirking slightly. "Something funny, Sir Elyan?"

"I just remembered…Arthur, doesn't Merlin call you 'dollophead'?" Arthur scowled at his knights who were in no way attempting to hide their amusement. _'Traitors.' _

Colors returned around them as a burst of scenes flew before their eyes; Merlin and a larger-looking Caryn running through the woods; Will and Merlin splashing each other in a lake and laughing; Merlin collapsing and clutching her stomach, tears streaming down her face and laughing hysterically as her dire wolf chased a terrified looking Will through the Fairy Field while he shouted "MERLIN, CALL OFF YOUR MUTT!"; Hunith gently covering sleeping daughter with a blanket, smiling fondly at the sight of the huge wolf being used as a glorified pillow.

Lancelot smiled fondly at his friend, glad to see that there were good memories during her life in Ealdor. His fondness morphed into astonishment as a new scene played out before him, and he glanced around him to witness the other's reactions. Shock and disbelief were the two most popular emotions among the knights; Uther looked grudgingly impressed, Gaius smiled with obvious smugness and Morgana's face twitched in an obvious exercise of control. Deidre looked confused and Gwen looked immensely pleased, and Lancelot found that he agreed with her sentiment.

Merlin and Will were circling each other in the middle of a clearing, each gripping weapons. Will held a sword that looked worthy of a knight and was wearing a chainmail tunic that was belted around his waist. Lancelot noticed that the boy now looked quite a bit older, in his teens if the knight had to guess. He saw that Merlin had aged as well and smiled at his friend. She was still skinny, though she had some obvious muscle in her arms and legs. Her eyes were the same bright blue but with a tell-tale innocence that Lancelot was saddened to realize did not reside in her future self's own eyes. Then Lancelot looked at her attire.

Merlin was wearing a very, _very _fitted tunic and leggings, outlining the muscles of her arms and her legs. Above them, a thin layer of chainmail covered her upper arms and chest and fell to the middle of her thighs. Her mail was held close to her body by a belt as well, though Lancelot personally did not think she needed it. The leggings and tunic fit her like a second skin, clinging to her body in probably not a wholly appropriate way. The mail itself looked as though it was made specifically for her body. It was then that Lancelot noticed at Merlin was barefoot and he snorted because of how typically _Merlin _it was.

He looked up again and finally let his gaze settle on the weapons in Merlin's hands. The teen was holding a pair of long hunting daggers; the hilts were simple, bound in leather for a decent grip and the blades were simple steel, roughly the length of her forearm. Lancelot just stared at the girl for a moment, wondering if he should be surprised that Merlin looked completely comfortable with the weapons and circling her best friend with a perfect fighting stance. He shook his head, realizing that he wasn't truly that shocked. His friend had already proven to be a powerful witch, why shouldn't she be able to use weapons as well? He watched the two teenagers with rapt attention, trying to gauge Merlin's skill level.

Will smirked at his friend and took a step forward, lifting his sword when Merlin took a step back, only to have it clash with one of Merlin's blades. He pushed his arms down, bringing Merlin's with him, but the girl spun lightly and brought her body to a crouch. She then swiftly let her right arm rise upward while her left sliced at her friend's knees. When he blocked the knife with his sword, Merlin dropped her right arm and brought it down onto his shoulder. Will hissed and backed away, narrowing his eyes at the girl in front of him.

"So Merlin," he said casually, "Where's Deagan gone to now?" Merlin rolled her eyes slightly at the mention of her uncle.

"One, I have no idea, you know he likes to travel; two, your petty attempts at distraction won't work, Will." Will smiled.

"Why Merlin, I'm appalled that you think so little of me." Merlin's answering snort was loud and extremely unladylike, but it just made Will's grin grow. "Honestly Birdy, I'm hurt."

"Birdy?" Gwaine's incredulous question drew the attention of many. "What kind of nickname is that?"

"Shush, you give us horrible names all of the time," Gwen admonished.

"I have no idea what you mean, Esmeralda." Gwen rolled her eyes at that one and Gwaine just winked at the maid. They were brought back to attention when Will suddenly lunged towards Merlin, making her raise her blades in a cross in front of her chest.

"You know I hate that name," she growled at Will and grunted as she pushed him away. "Why you decided that you loved it so much, I will never know."

Will didn't answer, simply opting to attack once more. They had obviously sparred with one another often. Each one was anticipating the other's move before it happened, making it hard for either to land a blow. After a few moments of silence, Merlin spoke up. "You must remind me to thank your father for giving us lessons when he returns. I don't believe I've told him yet how much I appreciate it, even if Mum doesn't approve."

Will laughed loudly at that. "Doesn't approve? A bit of an understatement, don't you think?" Merlin smirked and parried another one of his blows.

"Yes, actually, it was more like an 'I'm-going-to-glare-you-into-submission' moment when I told her that your father would be teaching us how to fight. Much like the look she gave you, actually, when you tried to convince me to climb that tree then proceeded to fall from said tree and hit every branch on the way down." Merlin grinned wolfishly at Will when he glared.

"That was one time-"

"It was at least four time, Will." Merlin blocked another strike and swung her left dagger towards his face, making him leap away so he didn't get hit. "And wasn't it that last time when you broke your arm? Between my mum and yours, I'm surprised you were able to leave your house ever again." She laughed at Will's growl and he lunged again, but she twisted nimbly out of the way and kicked the backs of his knees, making him stumble enough for her to slash his back repeatedly. Will grunted in response, but turned to face her once more. He brought his sword down in a graceful arc when suddenly a shout shot through the clearing. Will started, and quickly turned so he didn't actually hit Merlin. The two teens were panting and they glared at the boy that burst through the trees.

"What the hell, Angus! You nearly made me take her head off!" Will shouted. The boy had the decency to look ashamed for a moment before his face melted into one of sadness and sympathy.

"Sorry, Will, it's just-"

"You bloody well be sorry! You know that we practice here, why would you-" Will's shouting ceased when Merlin laid her hand on his arm. The boy visibly restrained himself and sheathed his sword. Lancelot glanced at his prince and had to bite his tongue to stop himself from laughing. Arthur was glaring at William –correction, at the spot where Merlin's hand on his arm was- and his hands were clenched into fists at his side. He looked ready to throttle the boy. Lancelot shook his head and sighed internally, wondering when his two friends would stop lying to themselves.

"What's wrong, Angus?" Merlin's kind voice brought the other boy out of his stuttering and she smiled at him encouragingly. Angus turned again to Will and sighed.

"Will, it…it's your father." Will's face brightened and he started back towards the village.

"Is he back already? He told us he wouldn't be back for at least-"

"No, no, Will." Angus held his arm and looked into his eyes for a moment before dropping them. "I'm sorry."

Lancelot closed his eyes in realization, and opened them again to see Merlin staring at Will with disbelief written all over her face. Will simply stared at the top of Angus's head before he took off like a shot, ignoring Merlin's calls behind him. As they watched Merlin hurriedly tuck both daggers into the sheaths at her sides and rush after her friend, a voice sounded all around them. _"Please, _please_ not Thomas. Don't do this to Will, please." _

Everyone jumped slightly when Merlin's voice floated past them, but Merlin's mouth didn't move. "What, exactly, was that," Leon asked warily, glancing at Matai in question. The sorcerer raised an eyebrow slightly at the knight, surprised he looked to him for the answer, but answered him.

"In times of distress, we may be able to hear her thoughts at the time." Leon nodded slowly.

"So, that was her thought?" Matai nodded to him and Leon relaxed slightly and turned back to face the memories. Merlin was nearing the village, but she stopped suddenly in the middle of the Fairy Field when the sounds of crying reached her ears. A small ball of light floated onto Merlin's shoulder, and the light dimmed to show Meara looking at the girl with sadness in her eyes.

"Meara, please…" The fairy simply shook her head and flew away. Merlin sprinted through the field and into her village, skidding to a halt at the sight before her.

Will was kneeling in the dirt road in front of an Essetirian knight with silent tears running down his cheeks as he clutched his mother to his chest. Eleanor was sobbing unashamedly, slumped completely in her son's arms. Hunith was standing next to the two and turned when she saw Merlin. She nodded to Will and stepped back, closer to the knight, as Merlin came to stand behind her friend. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him from behind, and everyone could see the tears falling.

The overall mood of the villagers was sympathy and sadness, if the looks they sent the trio were any indication. It was shattered, however, when Hunith began shouting at the knight.

"What do you _mean _the King will not compensate?" Everyone watching turned to stare at the usually kind and soft spoken woman as she ripped into the Essetirian knight, who looked distinctly uncomfortable. "Sir Thomas was one of his knights, who died in a pointless battle for the King himself! Why are his _wife _and _child NOT _receiving compensation for his life?"

The knight shifted, looking anywhere but towards aforementioned wife and child. "It's not the King, Miss. It's Cenred." Arthur, Leon and Uther all stiffened at the now-dead King of Essetir's name. His cousin Lot had taken over the kingdom after Cenred's death, and the two kingdoms were slowly but surely on their way towards and alliance. Lot was by far a more reasonable and sane man than his cousin, making it easier for both parties to negotiate. But this was before Lot's reign, and technically before even Cenred's, however everyone knew that when Cenred's father became ill the child took control. He practically had Essetir's council wrapped around his fingers, thought it had to do in part with his cruelty. Unfortunately, his maliciousness only grew as he did. Arthur remembered when Hunith had come to Camelot in hopes that Uther would send men to stop Kanen and his men from attacking Ealdor again, claiming that Cenred held no love for the outlying villages in his kingdom. This memory was only proving that claim true, unfortunately.

Hunith glared at the knight. "And the knights are content with taking orders from a child barely out of need for a nursemaid," she hissed. The knight tensed and turned slightly harsh eyes on the woman before him.

"Of course not, but we have little choice. Cenred declared that every common man that was knighted to be stripped of their titles. He would not give any coin to them, or the ones that died in his father's service." Eleanor whimpered and started crying once more and Will glared furiously at the knight. Merlin turned a cold gaze on him as well.

"Then why are you here?" The knight deflated and detached three coin purses from his belt.

"Thomas was a good man, and made many friends among the knights, both common born and noble. When they heard Cenred wouldn't give any money, the men decided to contribute their own money to his family." Eleanor raised her head and stared blankly as the knight knelt in front of her. "I am truly sorry for your loss, Miss." He laid the purses next to her and rose, going back to his horse. He took a wrapped parcel from one of the saddle bags and approached Will again. "He left these for you." Will made no move to take them from the knight, or even look at him, so he passed the parcel to Merlin who took it with a sad smile and a nod of thanks. The knight nodded to her, then to Hunith, then he mounted his horse and rode out of Ealdor, not once looking back at the grieving family in the middle of the dirt path.

Soon the colors bled from the scene and smoke churned around the silent group, and they all sighed. Among most of the people, the general thought was _'How can this much happen to a person and they still come out strong?' _Because if anything that these memories were showing, it was that Merlin was strong, stronger than many of the people privy to her memories, stronger than they gave her credit for. Gwen rubbed a hand over her eyes, completely and utterly exhausted –emotionally at least. At least now she understood why Merlin didn't talk about her past. A rather troubling thought kept nagging at the back of her mind, however. _'If all of this has happened before she even came to Camelot, then what horrors did she face _there_?' _

She didn't think she wanted to find out. Unfortunately, it seemed that she would. The maid only hoped that Merlin didn't suffer too greatly in Camelot; she didn't think she could take seeing any more of Merlin's loved ones dying.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry guys, this isn't a chapter. Don't worry, the next one is coming, but it'll be a lot later than I intended for it to. My dad and step mother are filing for divorce and my step mom is literally bat shit crazy and it's been hell over here for a while. I'm trying to take care of my sister as well while my parents work everything out, while my mom and step dad are also selling our house, so I'm also in the process of moving and babysitting my brother when I'm over there. Long story short it's a hectic summer and I won't be consistent with my updates. I ask that you please be patient with me because I am doing all that I can to update as quickly as possible. Never lose hope, my dears, for this story shall not be forgotten! The next update, I'm hoping, will be up sometime this week, so look for it! I cannot apologize enough for the wait.**

**Sincerely, **

**Minn**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello all! Thank you guys so much for the reviews, I really appreciate them, especially with my home-life as of now. Seriously, words cannot describe how touched I was when reading your well-wishes. I made this chapter longer as a testament to how much I love you all. You're welcome.**

**So this is going to be the last chapter before she gets to Camelot, and I'm sorry guys but it gets bad here. Like. I hurt writing these scenes. But I didn't want to drag out her childhood, so yeah, but there will be some happy things mentioned here and there. Hope y'all enjoy! **

**WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER: Explicit scene describing extreme sexual harassment and graphic death. If any of this triggers anyone, please, for the love of God, do not read. I upped the rating of the fic just in case, so yea that should give you at least some warning.**

**Oh, and if any of you have read my **_**I'll Love You 'Till the Day I Die **_**story, there will be a second chapter posted sometime soon. I was just going to keep it as a one-shot, but since people have asked I'll go ahead and do another chapter. Because I love you all that much.**

**I do not own Merlin or any of its characters. The show would have ended VERY differently if I did.**

**~0~**

"I need a break." All heads snapped around to face Gwaine, who was running his hands through his hair in agitation. Deidre sighed, eyeing the knight with slight concern. She could tell that this was one of the most loyal to Emrys, and consequently one of the ones most affected by the memories. As she looked around at the mass of people, taking in their haggard and grim faces, she nodded.

"Of course," she said, and waved her hand in front of her, pausing the smoke. It now hung as if suspended (which, of course, it was) in dark gray plumes, similar to raid clouds before a storm. She was pleased to notice that while Uther flinched and Arthur looked a bit uncomfortable, the knights, the physician, the Lady Morgana and the serving girl hardly blinked at her display of magic. Maybe there was hope for Camelot after all. "Emrys is indeed lucky to have loyal friends," she murmured to Matai, who nodded in agreement. However, she was a bit louder than she intended, for her statement had captured the attention of several others.

Gwen glanced over at the sorceress, remembering what she told Merlin before everything had gone, as Gwaine would put it, pear-shaped. "Emrys?" she asked, wondering if she was right about the conclusions she had drawn. Deidre nodded in confirmation.

"That is her name amongst our people, yes."

Gwen nodded slowly, thinking back to Deidre's earlier words. _"Emrys is not like any other magic user. He, or she, is the very essence of magic; they are as much a creature of the Old Religion as a dragon or a pixie." _

"Why is Emrys so powerful?" she asked the sorceress. She absently noticed that everyone was listening to their conversation, but her main focus was on Deidre, who shifted under her inquisitive gaze. "You told Merlin earlier, in the throne room, that Emrys was a creature of the Old Religion." Deidre nodded again and sighed.

"Emrys is…like no other," she explained haltingly. "Legend states the Emrys is the most powerful warlock, or witch, in Merlin's case, ever to be born."

Elyan cleared his throat, interrupting them. "So, she's not a sorceress." He didn't state it like a question, though his confusion was heard. Gaius shook his head, taking over for Deidre.

"A sorcerer or sorceress is someone that learned magic. Usually, a sorcerer or sorceress has what some might call a spark, or an ingrained sense of magic, making them able to learn the art. Many are born with this spark, but some choose not to act on it, or they simply don't know it's there. A spark can be weak in the beginning, and grow in strength as the person continues in their studies."

"How can someone tell if a person has a…" Arthur hesitated in his inquiry, "_spark, _as you say it?"

Gaius smiled proudly at the prince, happy to see that he was asking questions instead of completely disregarding what was being said. "It can manifest differently with everyone. For many, it's small things; an object moving to trip a person you're irritated with," here Gaius rolled his eyes and Lancelot snickered, leading the knights to (correctly) assume that Merlin has dabbled in that particular use of magic more than once, "spontaneous combustion," Arthur's eyebrows raised at that one, "generally non harmful instances as such. For those with a greater ingrained spark, the instances can be more obvious or the reactions can be of a larger scale. Most of the time, especially now, if one finds that they themselves have performed magic unintentionally, the panic with add fuel to the fire in their spark at the time. Magic is very closely intertwined with emotion. The angrier, or more panicked a magic user is-"

"The more powerful the spell," Arthur finished, nodding in understanding. Because it did make sense, especially to the warrior side of the prince. He could personally attest to this particular lesson; when in battle, or in training, if a knight were to get overly emotional, their moves could become choppy. They spend more time trying to attack something, or someone, than trying to protect themselves as well. Arthur grimaced, knowing that in those types of situations, everyone gets hurt. As he thought about what Gaius said, though, he was brought back to all of the people that he has seen executed simply under the suspicion of magic. How many of them actually had magic? How many of them had only _just _found their "spark" as Gaius called it, and simply panicked?

"_How many innocents have died by my hand?" _he thought, suddenly deeply ashamed of himself and his actions. He was beginning to understand why magic users hated Camelot so much.

"So," Percival tentatively interjected, looking between Deidre and Gaius. "Where does Merlin come into play, then?"

"Merlin's magic is very different from that of a sorcerer or sorceress." Gaius glanced around him, noticing that he currently held everyone's attention, and tried to use that to his advantage. "Witches and warlocks are people born with magic. While many have the _potential _to learn magic, witches and warlocks have no choice in the matter." He stressed this, looking pointedly at Arthur to make him understand and getting a nod in response. "Their magic is more of a steady fire from a hearth than a spark. They are very powerful beings, though they are human. Some have different ways in which their power manifests as well. Some warlocks have the gift of Healing magic, so the spells used to fight would be significantly less powerful, and others it's the opposite, while many witches are Seers." The physician paused, sending a meaningful glance to Lancelot and Gwen, none of which went unnoticed by the rest of the knights. "Seers' magic manifests in the form of visions, either of the past or future. If they do not learn to control the visions, it will come to them in their dreams, often times as nightmares. Because Seer magic is very powerful, many witches decide to simply learn simple spells such as spells of teleportation and let the majority of their energy fuel the visions."

Deidre gazed at the elderly man with some confusion clouding her brown eyes. "But Merlin is Emrys," she stated, wondering where he was going with his lecture. Gaius nodded in agreement.

"Merlin is powerful. Extremely powerful. She has many titles amongst the magical people, including that of Emrys." Gaius hesitated, thinking of a way to properly explain the magic that resided in his ward. "For every magic user, their magic is a part of them. Sorcerers and sorceresses can decide to not use their magic, as can witches and warlocks, though it would be difficult for them to do so as their magic is stronger. Emrys, however, cannot. You saw what happened to her when she suppressed her magic." At the responding nods and grimaces, he continued. "Merlin's magic is unique, as it is more a bonfire, or a roaring forest fire than anything else." That statement was met with many incredulous and shocked gazes and Gaius smiled slightly. "Magic is woven into every fiber of her being, is in every droplet of her blood, every hair on her head. She could not part with her magic even if she wanted to."

Then, Gaius sighed and folded his hands in front of him. "However, before she came to Camelot, she had little training. From what I've gathered here, her uncle Deagan focused her more on controlling the impulsiveness of her magic, as sometimes it reacts to her surroundings and her emotions without her conscious knowledge of it. He did not teach her any spells, and what she has learned in her time in Camelot has not been nearly as much or in depth as I wish she could have learned, but there are…complications," he glanced at Uther for a moment, who simply clenched his fists. "To her having magical training within the walls of the kingdom. And as such, there is a lot of raw, untouched magic that I don't believe she is even fully aware exists."

There was a few moments of silence as everyone tried to process the fact that this slight, clumsy maidservant that was their friend was one of the most powerful things to walk the Earth. Predictably, it was Gwaine who broke the silence, though he was uncharacteristically serious. "You mentioned in the castle, that the two most powerful people in the magical community was the High Priestess and Emrys." With Deidre and Matai's confirming nods, he continued. "If the High Priestess is your Queen, is Emrys your King?"

"We have no kings or queens," Matai corrected, "But yes, they would be the closest thing we have to royalty."

Gwaine nodded and was silent for a minute, before he broke into loud guffaws, startling everyone. "My best friend is a King!" he shouted gleefully. Lancelot started laughing as well, knowing Gwaine would get a kick out of Merlin's other titles as well, while Leon and Elyan chuckled and Percival smiled fondly at his alcoholic friend. Arthur slowly started laughing as well, mainly from the absurdity of it all, because really, _Merlin, _who was, in fact, a female, had apparently been elected at birth as a King without her knowledge. The prince groaned slightly and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, though he was still laughing, trying to wrap his mind around everything that he had just learned.

Deidre stared at the knights –particularly Gwaine– as if they were insane, and Gwen giggled at the woman's expression. "Yes," she said, leaning towards the red head. "They're always like this." Her statement shocked a giggle out of Deidre and she turned to face the servant beside her.

"How do you put up with this on a daily basis?" she asked incredulously. Gwen laughed harder and shook her head, smiling at the group before them.

"Endless amounts of patience, and the occasional ale here and there." Deidre dissolved into giggles, followed shortly by Gwen, and Matai snorted in amusement at the two women next to him. The sorcerer smiled though, happy that his Mistress seemed to be making a friend among the Camelotians. As they went through the memories, Matai saw that most of them had been a bit friendlier towards them –with the exceptions of Uther and the lady Morgana. Arthur, for his part, was trying, and Matai saw this. He could see that the prince was warring with himself, going against everything he had been taught literally since birth about magic with everything he knows about his maidservant, who he seemed immensely fond of. Matai had thought at first that he cared for her in a sisterly-sort of sense, like the other knights, but determined that it went much deeper than that. He knew that at least two here –the physician and one of the knights, Lancelot he believed– shared his sentiments, if the secret looks they sent each other were any indication. The sorcerer smirked slightly, eager to see how the prince's relationship with his servant would play out.

**~0~**

After resting for a few more minutes, everyone decided to continue with Merlin's memories. Arthur had noticed a while ago that his father was strangely silent throughout the entirety of Merlin's childhood so far, and that worried him. He knew what his father's belief on magic was, and therefore on what _Merlin _was, and if he wasn't speaking, then he was thinking. Arthur wasn't naïve enough to think that his father would change his stance on magic, at least not now, but he hoped that by the time Merlin had gotten to Camelot then his father would see that not every magic user is evil. Because there was no way Merlin was evil, and Arthur would not allow his father to hurt her.

With that thought, however, came a whole new wave of feelings that Arthur was desperately trying to quell. He cared for Merlin, of course he did! He cared for her deeply, much deeper than any sisterly-bond Merlin shared with the rest of his knights. She was smart, far smarter than he gave her credit for, and witty and bright and brave and not afraid to give anyone a piece of her mind. She was incredibly loyal, and wise…

Arthur shook his head and sighed internally. But nothing could come of them. For one thing, she was a servant, and he was a prince. Another complication being that she was a witch (the most powerful witch to ever walk the earth), and he was the Prince of Camelot, a kingdom notorious for their executions of magic users. For them to be together, it would arouse far too much suspicion in Camelot, especially among the nobles and the councilmen. And Arthur didn't even _know _where to begin with the additional danger with his father's name. The prince had resolved long ago that nothing could come of him and Merlin being together, and he couldn't understand why his resolve was cracking now of all times.

He was interrupted from his inner thoughts (Arthur still didn't believe he brooded, no matter how many times Merlin insisted otherwise) by Gwaine. The knight sidled up beside him and sighed loudly, gaining his attention. "It's a lot to take in," the knight said, staring at their smoky surroundings, which were beginning to slither around them. Arthur nodded dumbly, not knowing how to respond to that, so Gwaine –for once– kept his thoughts to himself as they waited for the next memory to surface. Soon, everyone gathered around them (Uther had tried to stay in the front to assert some semblance of authority, but when it became clear that no one cared the king stayed behind) as a new memory began to form before them.

The scene was dark. Small lights were visible in a few of the huts that lined the street, though there was a larger building a few yards from the main village and everyone could hear the multitude of voices coming from the brightly lit building. Gwaine grinned widely, recognizing it immediately. "I didn't know Ealdor had a tavern," he said brightly, making many of the knights laugh.

"Really?" Elyan smirked at Gwaine. "You, not knowing where the tavern was? That's shocking."

"I'll have you know that I have not been everywhere, Sir Elyan," Gwaine informed him, again, happily. The former nomad didn't seem too put off by that thought. "I'll just get Merlin to take me the next time she visits her mother."

Gaius however quickly cut in with a firm "No." Gwaine pouted at the physician, hoping to change his mind, but Gaius looked singularly unimpressed. The knight sighed and faced the memory again, not losing hope in his goal to get Merlin drunk. Before his mind could wander any more he saw two figures staggering down the street from the tavern, one of them slightly shorter than the other. They sat at a small bench that was in front of the tavern, but the group couldn't hear what was being said. Gwaine was about to say that aloud when the memory zoomed in, and everyone could see who the couple was with clarity.

"Will, you can't keep doing this." Merlin was older now, nearing eighteen if Gwaine could bet on it, and she sat next to her extremely drunk friend as he swayed, attempting to keep him steady. Suddenly she huffed and lifted her arms slightly, watching as Will leaned towards her, didn't find her hands stopping him, and collapsed –into her lap. Gwaine tensed slightly, not really worried about the boy taking advantage of his friend but still wary, seeing as how he didn't know the lad. Arthur, on the other hand, was gripping his sword tightly in his fist and clenching his teeth so hard that Gwaine was sure they would break. The knight snorted, though the prince next to him was focused on the two young adults he was seeing and not paying attention to how completely and utterly _obvious _he was being in his affections towards his maidservant. Though, he was already obvious, at least to Gwaine, but now the man wasn't even trying to hide it. While it had been amusing to see the two dance around each other for over a year, Gwaine was ready to knock them both around the head and have them admit to each other that they loved one another, just to save everyone from the sexual tension between the two. Really, it was quite suffocating at times.

Merlin just sighed and ran her fingers lightly through Will's dark hair, smoothing it away from his forehead and laying the other hand on his side. "Will," she whispered, "Thomas wouldn't want this for you. He wouldn't want his only son wasting away and drowning his sorrows in ale."

Will shifted and wrapped his arms loosely around his friend. "Don' know wha' he'd wan'," he slurred. "Wasn' ever here ta tell me." Merlin sighed again and flicked his ear, making Will wince and grab his ear dramatically. "Wha-what s'that for?" Even drunk he was able to sound properly indignant, and Gwaine admired that about the boy.

"You listen to me William. Your father loved you dearly, and he was here whenever he could be. He loved your mother, and he loved Ealdor, but he was a knight. He had a duty to his King as well." Merlin resumed stroking his hair. "One year, I can understand. Maybe one year and a half. I can understand the need for ale, but this is the third –the _third year, Will_– that you've gone to the tavern every night, and it has to end now. If you don't want to become the town drunk because it's what your father would have wanted, then do it for your mother. She needs you, Will. You're all she has left. Don't leave her to grieve alone." Merlin looked down at the boy in her lap for a few silent moments, before turning his face towards her, finding that he had fallen asleep and likely missed everything she had said. She huffed out a laugh before gently lifting his torso off her legs and laying him on the bench. "I'll be right back Will. Don't go anywhere." The boy merely shifted a bit before snoring loudly, making Merlin smile sadly.

As she trudged up towards the tavern, the door opened and two men stumbled out, stopping when they say her. Gwaine immediately tensed, seeing the look on their faces as they eyed his little sister. She didn't seem to notice the men, only offering an "Excuse me," as she stepped past the men to enter the tavern. They looked at one another before grinning, and stumbled down the steps. Soon, Merlin exited with a small bag of coins. As she was tying it to her belt, the two men stepped in front of her. She stopped, eyeing them both, and put on a pleasant smile. "Can I help you two?" she asked guardedly, giving each man a quick once-over. The large brute on her right grinned lewdly at her and stepped closer, though she took a step away from him in response.

"Aye, lass," he slurred. "I do believe you can help my friend and I." The other man stepped behind her, trapping Merlin between the two. "What's a pretty lil' thing doin' out here all by her lonesome?" The one in front of her grabbed the end of her long braid, twirling the dark hair between his fingers and bringing it to his nose, inhaling deeply. Merlin shivered and eyed the man in disgust, propping out her elbow to keep the second man from moving behind her.

Gwaine could barely hear the words coming from the brute's mouth over the roaring in his ears. He was livid, absolutely seething, denying with every fiber of his being that this, of all things, had happened to his precious little sister. Merlin was too soft, too innocent for this to happen. He didn't dare look around in fear for missing something, but Gwaine could feel the rage and bloodlust peeling off his fellow knights. He was in the middle of memorizing every detail about the men so he could find them and _hunt them down because no one touched his little sister _when Merlin spoke again.

"I don't see how that's any of your concern and if you could _not," _Merlin snatched her hair from his grip, "touch me that would be greatly appreciated." Though her words were polite, everyone could hear the venom behind them. Her blue eyes were burning with hate and she tried to sidestep the men, only to be pulled back by the brute. She cried out, startled, as his hand wrapped around her upper arm, and Gwaine had to forcefully remind himself repeatedly that this was a memory and he couldn't actually kill the men he was seeing.

The brute chuckled. "I like a girl with spirit," he whispered, bringing her closer to him. Merlin gagged as his breath wafted over her face and her voice washed over the viewers.

"_Well then he'll _really _love this." _With that, she brought her hand up and smacked him, hard, across the face. The brute was frozen in shock, so she took the opportunity to bring her knee up sharply. Gwaine didn't even flinch in sympathy as Merlin nailed him in a rather sensitive spot, but instead took pleasure in his howl of pain and reveled in the rush of pride he felt for the lass. Merlin twisted out of his grasp and turned, only to meet the second man's fist as it connected with her cheek. Gwaine snarled reflexively, and heard many similar sounds coming from behind him as Merlin fell to the ground, groaning. The second man gripped her arms tightly as he heaved her up, turning her to face the brute as he staggered to his feet. The look on his face was murderous, and Merlin started struggling immediately. Gwaine started moving forward, only to be yanked back by Percival's massive hands wrapped around his –and Arthur's, he notices absently– arm. Percival gives them both looks and when he's sure they won't move again releases them, and turns a heated glare back to the memory.

"You're gonna regret that, little bitch," the brute growled and punched her in the stomach. They could hear the breath leave Merlin as she hunched over, but he grabbed a fistful of her hair in one hand and yanked her head up to meet her eyes. "Mm, such _pretty _lips." Merlin's eyes widened as his other hand strayed to his trousers, fumbling with the ties. She started struggling even more, panic contorting her features and she opened her mouth to scream, but a hand clamped over her mouth and the man behind her hugged her closer to his body.

"Not a peep, girly," he said harshly, then licked the side of her cheek and began nipping at her neck. Merlin whimpered and shuddered, her eyes screwing shut as she tried to free herself from the men.

Arthur lunged forward once more, knowing rationally that this was only a memory and it wasn't actually happening, but was pulled back, again, by Percival. "Let me go!" he screamed, attempting to fight off the large knight. Percival stayed silent, but Arthur could tell by his tense muscles and clenched jaw that he wasn't enjoying this anymore than Arthur was. The prince slumped in the man's arms and turned to face Deidre, who was watching everything with a pale face, and snarled, "Change it, now!" Arthur refused, absolutely _refused _to fully believe that this would happen to Merlin. She had magic, and she could fight without it. She could get herself out of this, _she had to. _He refused to stand here and just _watch _it happen. Deidre nodded quickly, her brown eyes watering as she seemed all too pleased to rid themselves of this memory when Merlin's voice sounded once more.

"_Get." _Arthur turned to see Merlin fall still in the man's hold, not limp but looking prepared for a fight. _"Your. Hands." _Her elfin features hardened, and her breathing became deep and controlled. The men smirked, thinking that she was giving in. _"Off. Of. ME!" _With the last word, her eyes flew open, no longer blue but a brilliant gold. Both men were pulled away from her forcefully, crashing to the ground with a sickening crunch that indicated broken bones. Merlin crumpled to the ground, but quickly stood and looked at the men that had grabbed her. Her eyes ceased to return to blue, and her glare enough was enough to make the hair on Arthur's neck stand up and his eyes widen in shock. She looked furious, and disgusted, and rightly so. Slowly, horror crept onto her face and she gasped, the gold fading fast and leaving behind cool, fear filled blue eyes and she cautiously approached one of the men.

The brute was lying face down in the dirt a few feet away from her, and as Merlin approached, they could all see the awkward bend of his leg and the stillness of his back. He wasn't breathing. Merlin swallowed hard and knelt beside him, turning him onto his back, before scrambling away as quickly as she could. The man's eyes were wide open with shock, the pale brown color glazed over. His cheeks that were once flushed from the amount of alcohol he had consumed were quickly becoming pale, his lips slowly turning a blueish shade. Arthur had seen enough death to recognize the signs of a broken neck, and he stared in astonishment. Merlin had killed him, whether intentionally or not. The girl seemed to come to the same realization, because she whispered, "No, no no no please _no._" Then she collapsed, barely able to throw her arms out in time to keep herself from falling completely.

Arthur shrugged out of Percival's now-limp hold on him and stared at his maidservant, who had curled in on herself and was staring at the man in horror. Chocked sobs left her throat as she realized what she had done, and she turned, facing away from them, the sounds of retching reaching the party's ears. When she was finished she gasped and started crying, whimpering and crawling away from the dead body –away from the man she had killed, _with magic _a harsh voice whispered in Arthur's ear, though he shoved it to the back of his mind– and suddenly there is the sound of a harsh breath being let out to the side of them.

Merlin's head turns so quickly they can hear it crack, but her eyes only widen once more and the fear grows as she meets Will's equally-as-fearful brown eyes. The boy looks significantly more sober than he was before he had passed out, though Arthur felt as though that was understandable, what with finding out that your best friend had magic and all. Before either could say anything to each other, there's a loud groan from behind Merlin as the second man regains consciousness, eyeing Merlin blearily.

"Wha-" he stops suddenly and inhales harshly, rolling to his feet and stumbling towards the dead man lying a few feet from him. "John, John wake up." Merlin looked absolutely wretched, tears steadily streaming down her face, and Will was just taking in the scene with a blank look on his face. The man stops shaking his brother and stands again, facing the kneeling girl before him. "You killed him."

Merlin takes a gasping breath and started sobbing in earnest. "I-I didn't m-mean t-to!" she said brokenly, but the man didn't seem to hear her. He took another menacing step towards her.

"You killed my brother." Merlin looked up at him and shock and whimpered, not breaking his gaze. The man started shaking in fury, something shattering behind his eyes as they grew wide and slightly hysterical. Arthur found himself fighting to not take a step away from the image of the deranged man before him and wondered how Merlin as able to keep still. He took yet another step. "I'll kill you," he whispered, though everyone could hear him perfectly. "You filthy _witch _I'll watch you _burn_!"Arthur could see out of the corner of his eyes that Will had scrambled to his feet and started moving towards Merlin, to defend or condemn her he didn't know, but his attention was on the man stalking towards his maidservant –his friend– with the fires of Hell shining in his eyes.

Merlin closed her eyes in resignation, and Arthur felt his heart break and the breath in his lungs freeze and the evil voice whispering doubts in his ear shrivel and die when her next thought rang through the group.

"_I deserve it." _

Gwen made a keening sound in the back of her throat and she clamped her hands over her mouth, staring unblinkingly at her friend sitting in the dirt outside of a tavern, and heard a gasping sound coming from Gaius. Merlin's guardian looked simply heartbroken at the sound of Merlin's voice. The maid wondered how it was that no one at the tavern noticed the incidents going on just a few yards away from them, and felt her heart clench at the sight of her friend so broken. She had never seen Merlin this way, not once in all the years she had known her. Merlin had always been a pillar of strength in Camelot, seemingly unshakable in her faith in Arthur and her willingness to protect her friends. Gwen had needed that, especially after her father's death and Morgana's kidnapping, and then again when she found that Morgana wasn't the same person that was kidnapped from Camelot nearly three years ago. She was darker, twisted, and Gwen didn't know how to handle losing her friend since childhood like that, so she stuck close to Merlin. She knew that Merlin could tell that something was wrong, but being the angel that she is didn't ask about it, simply opting to give silent support whenever Gwen needed it.

But seeing Merlin like this, broken, awaiting her death with her head hanging, Gwen felt her heart breaking for the strength her friend possessed, knowing that this particular instance made her into the person that she had come to see as a sister, and wished with all her heart that such awful things hadn't happened to Merlin but thanking the gods that her friend didn't succumb to darkness, instead choosing to be a better person despite her past. And Gwen knew then and there that she would die before she saw Merlin at the executioners block or the gallows or –gods forbid– the pyre. She would not give up her sister without a fight, and with a quick glance at Elyan, she knew her brother felt the same. Because Merlin was family, had been from the moment she met the goofy girl being pelted with rotten fruit, and Gwen would protect what family she had left with her dying breath.

They all jumped back, however, when a large black blur practically flew past them and at the man nearing Merlin, and many winced at the terror-filled screams he emitted. Merlin's eyes snapped open and she looked on in shock, seeming unable to comprehend this turn of events, but Gwen slowly let out the breath she had been holding when she realized what was attacking the man. "Caryn," she whispered in relief, and watched as the dire wolf detached herself from the man and backed away, standing between him and Merlin. The wolf's massive body completely blocked Merlin from view, her haunches raised and the hair on her back standing on end, blending in nearly perfectly with the darkness around her, and only the icy hue of her eyes and the stark whiteness of her teeth were clearly visible. Gwen was startled at the sheer ferociousness of Caryn's snarl, but quickly dismissed that thought as ridiculous. She had only seen the wolf as a puppy, had only seen her playfully chasing Will through the Fairy Field and acting like a rather large puppy around Merlin and Hunith. But this wolf was full grown, and she had –according to Matai and Deidre– bonded with Merlin, making her more than just a pet to the witch. Caryn would protect Merlin with her life, and Gwen knew Merlin would do the same for the dire wolf. And this man attacked Merlin, nearly getting to her again.

Caryn was not happy. And she wasn't going to hold back.

Finally the man managed to stand on his own, and the sight of his marred face and nearly-gone arm make Gwen and Deidre cringe, though the knights look extremely pleased with the dire wolf's work. He spits out a glob of blood and glares at Merlin. "Don't think this is the last you'll see me, girly," he hissed and ignored Caryn's growl. Then he turned and hobbled away from the tavern, away from Merlin and her still-defensive wolf and his dead brother, and Gwen felt a strong sense of foreboding rise within her chest. She pushed the feeling aside when she sees Caryn turn to face her witch, whining and nudging Merlin to her feet gently, licking her hands and arms and any part of exposed skin she can find. Merlin still seemed shaken by everything, not that Gwen was surprised, and turned to face the bench that Will had resided –only to find her friend gone.

Merlin sighed and wrapped her arms around her stomach, seeming to have to hold herself together and Caryn quickly sidled up to her side –the wolf had grown, obviously, because she stood to Merlin's shoulder on all fours– and let Merlin lean on her flank. The young witch chocked back sobs and curled one hand into Caryn's midnight pelt. "Come on, let's go home," she mutters before the two slowly make their way towards Hunith's hut.

Silence once again reigned as the memory comes to an end, taking a bit longer the close than the other ones did, but soon the smoke was colorless and resting at their feet.

**~0~**

Leon didn't know what to think.

On the one hand, he was grateful –gods above was he grateful– that the men hadn't taken the abuse on Merlin any further. He was not sure he would have been able to watch _that,_ of all things, happen to the woman he saw as a friend and sister. While he was angry that there was any abuse in the first place, it did not overpower the sheer relief he felt when the dire wolf had shown herself. Never before had Leon been more satisfied at seeing a man being mutilated than he had been at that moment.

On the other hand, Merlin had killed one of the men with magic. Not intentionally, Leon knew without a doubt that Merlin had simply wanted the men away from her, but nonetheless, one of the men had died because her magic had reacted. He did not blame the girl. No, of course he didn't. But Leon knew that by this particular memory being seen that Uther's hate of magic would only be solidified, as the king would not see it as an act of self-defense from a girl nearly being raped, but a sorceress causing harm to a man with magic.

The knight was also worried about Arthur's reaction to all of this. He knew the prince cared for Merlin, everyone could see it, clear as day. But with Merlin's secret out, the prince was going against over two decades of his father instilling in his mind that "all magic was evil" and "sorcerers cannot be trusted." Leon was one of Arthur's closest friends, he had known him since they were children, and he had often been privy to Uther's rants and raves as well. He knew that Arthur would be struggling with what he knew of Merlin and what he had always known –or thought he had known– about magic. Merlin's act of self-defense would be weighing heavily on his mind, and Leon wasn't entirely sure if it would swing in favor of Merlin.

He was also worried about Will. He had known that the boy died protecting Arthur when he had gone to Ealdor, and according to Arthur the two friends seemed happy as ever to see each other. But from the boy's reaction, Leon could guess that the two would have a falling out soon, and he didn't know how Merlin could take losing her only friend. Leon was growing increasingly more worried about the serving girl as more memories were seen. This girl had faced things that most people couldn't even begin to imagine or hope to understand, and yet she still came out with a bright smile on her face.

He had to wonder how long it would take for that smile to wan. To disappear completely.

As Leon looked at the people around him, he could feel himself grow concerned. Arthur looked ready to hit something (probably the men that they had seen, if Leon were to guess), Gwaine had an expression that promised a slow and painful death to whomever it was directed to (most definitely the men they had seen). Elyan was breathing deeply, trying to reign in his emotions, while Percival looked damn near bloodthirsty. What was most frightening, however, was Lancelot.

The knight stood next to Guinevere, obviously hoping he could comfort her in some way, but the icy steel in his eyes was terrifying. Lancelot was always determined in battle, yes, and nearly always seriously injured but never killed his opponents when fighting. The man was far too noble for that, and grieved for any life that he might have taken. The determination was still there, in the set line of his mouth, but his eyes held promise. Promise to bring pain unimaginable to the man that hurt Merlin. Promise to everyone here that he would defend this girl to his dying breath. The warmth that always resided in his eyes was gone, and Leon was not ashamed to admit he was slightly terrified. Because Lancelot was a brilliant swordsman, and besides Gwaine was the most loyal to Merlin. The girl had said, once, that even the kindest of men have a dark side, and Leon had no doubt that he was seeing Lancelot's. If Lancelot wanted to find this man, he would, and he would not hesitate to kill him.

What surprised the knight, however, was the Lady Morgana's reaction. Leon knew damn well that Morgana held no love for the prince's maidservant, as she had proven to him today, and yet the look on her face was one of genuine sympathy and horror. It seemed that even she did not wish for something that awful to happen to Merlin, and Leon felt a seed of hope plant itself in his chest. Perhaps there was a chance of redemption for the lady of Camelot.

Matai, Leon was surprised to find, seemed extremely upset by the idea of Merlin getting hurt, though the knight chalked that up to Merlin being a respected figure in the magical community. Deidre just looked sick. Her brown eyes were blown wide with shock, and her fingers were moving quickly through her fiery locks as she twisted and untwisted them into different plaits. Leon felt a pang of sympathy for the woman, noticing that she and Gwen had begun to form a tentative friendship in their time watching Merlin, and that the sorceress was growing fond of the maidservant she had kidnapped. The knight vaguely wondered if it was at all healthy for him to be sympathizing with their captors, but realized that, once Merlin was indeed awake, she would likely blast them into oblivion for doing this to her, so he decided not to worry.

There was barely any chance for a reprieve as the next memory began to take shape. Soon they were standing in a clearing, facing Merlin and Caryn. The two were leaning against a large willow tree, the leaves coming down around them like a curtain and Merlin's eyes were wide and unseeing. The girl looked as if she had fallen there and simply did not have the energy to move. Her legs were stretched in front of her, the leggings she wore doing nothing to conceal the prominent muscles in her calves and thighs. Her hands were folded in her lap, the dark blue sleeves of the tunic she wore falling just short of her finger tips, and her hair was down, tangled around her bust. The usual paleness of her skin had turned a rather sickly shade, and there were dark bruises under her eyes indicating a lack of sleep. A slight breeze blew through the willow's branches and thin locks of her dark hair moved across her face, nearly obscuring her vision, but she seemed not to notice it.

All in all, Merlin looked horrible.

Caryn had her large head resting on Merlin's thigh, and she whined softly at the look on Merlin's face. Slowly she lifted her head and licked the side of Merlin's face, and the girl turned to meet Caryn's icy gaze. The wolf just looked sad, if it was possible for a wolf to have facial expressions at all, and Merlin let the corners of her lips twitch slightly. Caryn whined again and nudged her chin with her nose, making Merlin cringe slightly at the cold touch. There was silence for a moment, before Merlin whispered so softly that most almost missed it, "He hates me."

Her head thumped against the trunk of the tree and Merlin stared at her dire wolf. "He does, Caryn. Will hates me. Because I have magic." She sniffled. "He won't speak to me, won't look at me. It's been three days Caryn, and he won't let me explain that I didn't have a choice in this. That while he was ass-over-heels drunk, I was nearly-" Merlin broke off with a choked sob, not able to continue the sentence. The wolf whimpered loudly at her distraught friend and laid her head back down in comfort. Merlin raised a hand and absentmindedly ran her fingers through the fur on Caryn's neck. "I killed him," she muttered. "I killed a man, in self-defense, with my magic." She paused. "This is what Mother was afraid was going to happen, you know. She was afraid that I would hurt someone, or that someone would see me and have me killed." Merlin smiled ruefully. "They're right, every one of them. The village has known since I was born, and I just refused to believe it. I'm a monster."

Leon sighed softly, remembering Gaius's earlier words: _"Merlin has always believed that she was a monster. She told me that she was no one, and that if she didn't have magic she might as well be dead. I don't think she ever believed me when I told her otherwise." _The knight was heartbroken by this broken girl in front of him; this was not the Merlin that he knew. Then again, the Merlin he knew didn't have magic, so Leon didn't think that was a fair comparison.

Merlin continued, "Deagan, when he's here at least, will teach me these small tricks to 'control and regulate the power I possess,' as he puts it," Merlin rolled her eyes a bit at the mention of her uncle, "And Meara, and the other fairies. Most of them look at me as if…as if I'm royalty. They look at me with such awe and wonder, like they think I can solve all of their problems and free magic people everywhere. And I don't want them to think that I am, or that I can, because it's not true. I can't even solve my own problems, what makes them think that I can solve theirs?" Merlin huffed and ran her free hand through the tangles in her hair. "I don't want their trust in me to be misguided, even if I know it is. They're wrong about me. I'm a bastard, a witch, a-a killer," her voice trailed off as she spoke the last word, and her eyes began to fill with tears. "I can't be the person they want me to be, Caryn. I'm not special. I'm not…I'm not someone that deserves their trust, or their faith or loyalty." Tears steadily began trailing down her cheeks, and Merlin hunched forward slightly. "I don't deserve it!" she wailed, and practically collapsed into Caryn, the wolf immediately folding her large body around the witch to offer as much comfort as she could, whining the entire time. The scene was heart wrenching, and (most) everyone was relieved when it finally changed.

They really should have known better than to expect everything to get better from there.

**~0~**

As the new memory finished forming, the group found themselves standing in Hunith's hut, watching the two women in front of them bake. Merlin had her back to them and was laughing at something her mother had said, when she suddenly turned and threw a handful of flour in Hunith's direction. They smiled in relief when they saw the bright smile that adorned Merlin's face and a familiar sparkle in her deep blue eyes. Their friend had grown again, and many recognized this version of Merlin as the one they first met in Camelot all those years ago. They estimated she was about twenty years old now. They were glad to see Merlin look so happy as she and her mother threw flour at one another, coating each other in the white powder. She was laughing brightly, covering her eyes as Hunith dumped a handful of the powder on the top of her head. The woman had a triumphant smile on her face, only to squeal when her daughter shook her head like a large dog, getting it all on Hunith once more. The two then collapsed into giggles, leaning against the counters for support and clutching their stomachs. They continued laughing together until Merlin suddenly stopped, clutching her chest in surprise, then her eyes widened as she gasped in pain.

Hunith immediately was at her daughter's side, everyone watching anxiously as she lifted her daughter's chin to meet her eyes. "Merlin?" she asked. "Merlin, what is it?" Merlin simply shook her head before sprinting through the door of the hut, ignoring Hunith's cries behind her. Her mother huffed and picked up her skirts, running after her daughter in worry, oblivious to the large crowd of knights that trailed her, equally as worried.

Everyone followed Merlin and Hunith as they ran through the village, and the Fairy Field, then through the dense forest. Merlin's eyes were wide and frightened, while Hunith just looked perplexed by her daughter's actions. Every once in a while Arthur could hear a whimper come from Merlin and the girl would push herself harder, running faster, once more ignoring her mother's calls to stop behind her and disappearing into the forest. Soon, Hunith had slowed to a stop and was leaning heavily against a tree, attempting to catch her breath, and the group copied her ministrations. Arthur noticed vaguely that Gaius had somehow managed to keep up with their frenzied sprint, though at the flash of gold from Matai's eyes he realized that the sorcerer had managed to give Gaius what appeared to be a boost of energy, and the physician was nodding gratefully to the panting sorcerer.

Before anything could be said, an anguished scream tore through the woods. Everything around them stopped. There was no sound. No panting, no wind, no birds chirping, just the long, earth-shattering wail that speared the hearts of everyone there, knowing it could have only come from one person. Hunith's brown eyes were blown wide, and suddenly she was off like a shot into the trees, letting Merlin's screams guide her, Arthur and the others on her heels.

What came next, no one would be able to forget.

They crashed into a small clearing, looking around for Merlin before they spotted her kneeling on the ground, staring up at the most gruesome sight any had seen. Deagan's body was hanging, crucified to wooden planks by his wrists and the tops of his feet, stripped of everything but his druid cloak and a loincloth. His chest and abdomen were mutilated; someone had taken a knife and carved a crude imitation of the druidic tattoo on Deagan's arm into his skin, the wounds still slowly weeping blood. The man's pale eyes were open and unseeing, glazed over in death and his face twisted into a pained grimace and mouth open in a silent scream.

The worst, however, was Caryn. The wolf had been skinned, and her black pelt hung above the crucifix, tied to two branches of a tree behind Deagan, waving in the air like a flag. Her body was laying under Deagan's feet, deep gashes visible in her flesh and the massive bones sticking out unnaturally. The dire wolf's head, however, had been removed from her body. Not two feet to the side of the cross, Caryn's head stood mounted on a spike, her blue eyes glassy but her snarl just as ferocious as it had been when she came to Merlin's rescue outside the tavern. Laying on her tongue, however, was a small piece of parchment.

Distantly, Arthur could hear the sounds of Gwen and Deidre sobbing, Morgana as well, and the sound of retching (Percival was standing to the side of Gwaine as the drunk lost all food he had in his body, not that Arthur blamed the man, this was a sickening sight. He could also see that Percival had his hand on Gwaine's back, and realized that Deidre must have lifted the spell that didn't allow them to touch for the moment. The sorceress in question was clutching one of Gwen's hands in her own while she clung to Matai with the other, crying unashamedly into the man's tunic. Matai didn't seem to care one bit as he wrapped the little woman into his arms, and Lancelot rushed to pull Gwen into his own embrace. Leon was standing next to Gaius, supporting the elderly man as they stared in horror at the happenings before them, and even Morgana was crying into Uther's shoulder. Arthur also noticed that his father looked repulsed by the sight, and he glanced at Merlin frequently with reluctantly sympathetic gaze.) All of this was background noise and years of practice garnering other's reactions in mere seconds (it was a useful skill in battle), because the prince's sole attention was on his maidservant.

Merlin was currently cradling her hysterical mother in her arms as she stared at her uncle, before moving her gaze to her dire wolf, and something in her snapped. Her blue eyes bored into Caryn's with a heated intensity that honestly frightened Arthur a bit, before she slowly untangled herself from her mother. Hunith barely seemed to realize that her daughter was standing, for she was staring at Deagan's body in horror. Merlin slowly walked to Caryn's head and stopped right in front of it. Her bottom lip trembled and tears filled her eyes as she gazed at what remained of her wolf. Slowly, she lifted a shaking hand and ran it gently over Caryn's head, her expression crumbling slightly. She took a shaky breath as her hand left the wolf's fur and took the piece of parchment from Caryn's tongue. Arthur watched with bated breath as Merlin's face paled dangerously and she swayed on her feet, wanted to rush to her but knowing that he couldn't do anything but watch as she dropped to her knees and let loose a wail of grief.

"_They're gone, they're dead, _he killed them, _Caryn's dead, this is all my fault," _were suddenly heard around them, and everyone heard the sheer grief in Merlin's thoughts, and Arthur felt his heart give a powerful pang at the thought of Merlin blaming herself for their deaths. He found his feet moving of their own volition and was soon standing behind his maidservant.

Lancelot was never more grateful to anyone in his life than he was to Deidre right now. The sorceress had lifted the spell that prevented them from touching one another, and he was able to hold Gwen as she cried into his chest. Her cries were mingling with Merlin's anguish and Lancelot felt, for once, utterly helpless. This was something that he could not protect Merlin from, or Gwen, and it pained the knight greatly. He could see the varying levels of grief on the faces of the ones around him as well, especially from Gwaine, Arthur and Gaius. The poor physician looked ready to collapse at seeing his loved ones so hurt, Gwaine was reaching out as if wanting to go to Merlin, but stopped at the last second, remembering that he could not touch _her_. Arthur however had moved to stand behind Merlin. He looked down at her bowed head with a pained expression for a moment, before he knelt beside her and gently placed his hand on her shoulder. Lancelot was shocked to see that it didn't pass through, as he had expected to see, but instead stayed as an invisible weight on the girl. Arthur seemed surprised as well, but quickly overcame it and dropped his hand to her waist, encircling her in a one-armed hug.

The prince didn't see the looks his action had brought him –or if he did, he didn't acknowledge them– and Lancelot smiled slightly at the pair. Obviously Merlin didn't feel his arm around her, but it seemed to help Arthur, and for that the knight was thankful. The prince may put on a brave face, but after the sufferings they had seen Merlin experience in her village Lancelot knew it was affecting the prince greatly to see the hardships his love had endured. Lancelot was pulled from his musings, when Arthur suddenly inhaled sharply, looking down at something in Merlin's lap.

"Arthur?" he asked, making many turn to him in question. The prince let his gaze flick to him briefly, before falling again.

Uther took a small step forward, Morgana sniffling and moving with him. "Arthur, what is it?" Lancelot was surprised to find the king sounding somewhat concerned, but figured it was more for his son than it was for the girl he was kneeling next to. Arthur didn't raise his head, simply cleared his throat and pointed with his free hand to Merlin's lap. Lancelot looked closely and found the parchment laying crumbled and tear-soaked on her leg. Uther noticed it as well, and nodded to his son. "What does it say," he asked, though to Lancelot it sounded more like a demand. Arthur paid it no mind, however, for he took a deep breath and read aloud:

"_We don't want your kind in our kingdom, girly_

_I told you I'd be back for you."_

Lancelot clenched his teeth together, shushing Gwen when she made a chocking sound into his chainmail, and noticed Matai doing the same for Deidre. He had very little time to contemplate the closeness of their relationship before his thoughts turned once more to the girl in front of them. He saw the king stiffen slightly and Morgana back away from him as if he had burned her, and shook his head at the two. Morgana, he knew, would not have allowed her father to comfort her, and was still somewhat surprised to see her run to his arms and no one else's.

Suddenly Merlin disappeared in a puff of smoke, as did Hunith and the two bodies and the forest around them. Arthur looked around in shock; none of the memories had been gone that fast before. "What happened?" he asked, looking at Deidre in confusion. The sorceress shrugged slightly in response, still wrapped in Matai's arms, and Arthur let out a harsh breath. Just as suddenly as the memory disappeared, a new one formed, and Arthur stood to look at it properly.

Merlin stood in the middle of the Fairy Field, her eyes bloodshot and puffy from crying, but she stood tall and almost regally in front of the cluster of fairies that had gathered. Meara was in front, floating a few feet before the congregation and looked sadly at Merlin. "My lady," she muttered, "We are so-"

"Save it," Merlin said sharply, earning many surprised looks from those watching. Merlin seemed to have heard the tone of her voice, because she winced and deflated slightly. "I don't…I can't hear any more of it. I've gotten enough 'I'm sorry for your loss's to last a life time." Meara nodded in understanding. "I need you to promise me something," Merlin continued.

"Anything, my Lady." Merlin grimaced at the title and eyed the fairy intently.

"I need you, all of you," she eyed the rest of the fairies before looking back at Meara, "To stay here." There were many protests at her statement, but Merlin cut over their voices quickly. "Protect my mother, and Will, and my village. If this bastard tries to come back…" Her features hardened and she nearly glared at Meara. "Make sure he doesn't."

The fairy nodded slowly and straightened, before bowing to Merlin. "You have our word, Merlin." She nodded and relaxed her tense posture, smiling at Meara.

"Thank you, my friend," she said softly and the fairy smiled in return. Her eyes lit with curiosity as she looked at the witch.

"My lady," she said, "Where is it that you will be going?" Merlin sighed and picked up a pack that was sitting at her feet.

"Mother is sending me to my Uncle Gaius, in Camelot. With everything that has happened here," she took a slow, shaky intake of breath. "It'll be good for me, she thinks, to get a change of scenery. And she thinks Gaius will be able to teach me more about my magic, now that Deagan…can't." Her voice cracked slightly at her uncle's name, but she put on a brave face. Meara simply nodded, but flew closer to Merlin.

"My lady, please, be careful," she said imploringly. "There are many in Camelot who would see you harmed if they knew about your magic." Merlin smiled at the fairy's concern and nodded.

"I'll be careful, Meara. No one will find out about me, I promise."

Gaius groaned loudly and shook his head in disbelief, while Lancelot snorted, trying –and failing– to hide his snickers. "That girl will be the death of me," Gaius muttered, glaring at the image of his niece. Arthur stifled a chuckle as well, and noticed that Gwaine wasn't even hiding his amusement, though his face was still a bit pale from what they had seen.

Meara nodded once more, and flew back to stand with the others gathered behind her. "Remember, my Lady, you will always have an ally with the fae kind. Should you ever need us, do not hesitate to call." And again, she lowered herself into a bow, but this time the entire fairy community that had gathered also bowed as well. Merlin looked torn between uncomfortable, awed and bewildered, but finally settled on a grateful expression. She nodded once more, and turned towards her village.

Smoke obscured the memory for a moment before it cleared, showing Merlin and Will standing next to each other, facing Ealdor. Will shifted slightly, and sighed deeply, facing Merlin. "So, you're really gonna leave us?" he asked resignedly. Merlin nodded and smiled sadly at her friend.

"You know why I need to, Will. My magic is getting stronger, and I won't be able to control it for much longer if it continues this way. Besides, without Deagan and…Caryn," she swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. "I can't…stay here. It's too much for me. I'll end up decimating the entire village." Will sighed again and nodded, knowing how much losing the two, especially Caryn, did to his friend, though he smirked slightly, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"Would that be such a bad thing?" Merlin snorted in amusement and shook her head at her best friend. They were both silent for a moment, then suddenly they were hugging. Merlin tucked her head securely under Will's chin, and he had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, just under her pack. Arthur found his hands clenching into fists, and forced them to open. He had to remind himself that he had not yet met Merlin, and this man was her best friend. It was perfectly acceptable for them to hug. It didn't mean he had to like it.

"Be safe, Birdy," he whispered, kissing her forehead. Merlin nodded and sniffled softly. As they pulled back, she smiled and kissed his cheek.

"I love you, William." Arthur tensed, feeling all air leave his lungs. '_Did she…were they…_together_?' _he thought, suddenly feeling cold at the idea. Will, however, just smiled at her and kissed her cheek as well.

"I love you too," he replied simply, and they pulled away from one another completely. "Don't be a stranger, you hear me? I don't know how I'm supposed to survive the idiocy of these people without my little sister here to snark them all away."

Arthur felt a violent torrent of feeling flood his body and took a shuddering breath, very nearly crying at the relief he felt, but somehow managed to hold it back. Though from the looks Leon and Gwaine kept throwing him, he knew he was unsuccessful in his attempt to hide his emotions from the others. Gwaine's smirk was appearing, and Arthur scowled, only making the knight's face stretch into a Cheshire grin.

Merlin snorted in amusement again and shook her head. "I do believe you can emulate my sarcasm well enough while I'm away, Will." She paused and ran a hand through her long hair, letting it blow in the slight breeze coming through. "Try to stay out of trouble, will you? And keep an eye on Mother for me, please? I already asked Meara, but…" Will nodded immediately and smiled reassuringly at her. Merlin sighed again, gave him one last smile, before turning on her heel and marching away from Ealdor.

Soon enough, the memory shifted once more, showing Merlin with her hair up, tucked under a handkerchief, her trousers and tunic baggy enough to hide her feminine curves from those that didn't know her. She was trekking up the side of a hill, and passed a few knights in red. Camelot red. Merlin hesitated, but smiled all the same at the two knights, who simply nodded at her dismissively. Merlin slowly let out a breath and turned, eyeing the towers of Camelot's castle from her spot on the hill. The red banners and gold dragons flapped ominously in the wind, and everyone could hear the noise from what they assumed was the Lower Town where they were. The girl let her eyes widen fearfully for a moment, making Arthur frown. The prince had always seen Camelot as a beacon of hope, a place where people could come to seek shelter, and safety, and he was bewildered for a moment as to why Merlin looked ready to bolt, when it struck him.

The laws on magic. If anyone caught Merlin using magic, no matter how innocent or harmless, she would immediately be sent to the executioners block. Arthur was suddenly struck with the thought of why Merlin would dare enter such a place where her life was in danger with practically every breath she took. Why would someone put themselves through that? Merlin seemed to be thinking along the same lines as him, but soon her face was set in a determined line, nearly all traces of fear gone, though Arthur could still see a shine of it in her blue eyes, and felt his heart clench. Merlin sighed, hitched her bag higher on her shoulders, and whispered, "Here goes nothing." Then, she began the rest of her journey down the path.

To Camelot.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello all! I know. You probably all hate me. And damn well you should. I'm so sorry I haven't posted in a long time, but three AP classes, temporarily being homeless while our house was being built and parents getting divorced can distract you a bit. So can having three people expelled in the course of a week (the week of finals too no less) and your boyfriend on a list of suspicion for expulsion. Oh, and two gun threats. It's been a hectic several months guys. I hope y'all can forgive me and enjoy this chapter!**

**P.S. Also, just as a further warning, this story is probably going to be really long. I might decide to skip a few episodes here and there, but honestly it's very time consuming to type out the episodes like this. Either that, or I might just split this into three stories, one for each season. We'll see! The content from the episodes will be put in bold so they can be easily distinguished from everyone else's conversations and thoughts. I'm also going to be adding a few things of my own to her time in Camelot, just to tie some loose ends from what I'll be changing because Merlin's a girl.**

**P.P.S. Another thing real quick, for all of you that have lost faith in me: This story shall not be abandoned. I repeat, THIS STORY WILL NOT BE ABANDONNED. While I may be away for a while, I am never gone, dear readers, so have faith that I will always return. **

**Thanks guys love y'all!**

**I do not own Merlin or any of its characters. The changes I make to the episodes are my own, and for the benefit of this story. I have no money please God don't sue.**

**~0~**

Uther watched with narrowed eyes as the serving girl began her trek into Camelot. She walked slowly, as if expecting an attack at any time, and Uther was surprised to find that he did not find that as gleeful as he once would have. Before, the king would have been snarling with rage at the mere thought of a magic user entering his kingdom, much less the main city. However, he found that while it still made his hackles rise at the sight of this _witch _daring to set foot in Camelot -where she would stay _right under his nose the entire time!_\- he found that he actually, marginally, completely within reason, admired the girl's bravery. To knowingly enter a kingdom notorious for their hatred of magic, with apparently completely impulsive and uncontrollable magic no less, took no small amount of courage.

If the king really thought about it, (which he sincerely did not wish to, but his mind had already wandered down this path) he could very nearly admit that he already held a small amount of admiration for the servant before all of this. She had already saved his son twice that he had seen; the amount of love she so obviously held for her uncle was practically palpable (not to mention the fact that she had threatened him with bodily harm should anything like the situation with Aredian happen again). That alone was enough for her to earn his respect.

Now, however, that respect was very nearly torn to shreds, because now he knew the truth.

Merlin had magic. Magic was illegal in Camelot, and punishable by death. As the King, Uther was expected to uphold the law. How would it look to the people, he reasoned, or to the _council, _if he let this witch walk free? There would be uprisings, and anarchy, and Uther simply could not have that.

When all of this was over, and they arrived back in Camelot, Uther would hold her execution.

(He skillfully ignored the nagging voice in the back of his head that demanded he do no such thing. Years of practice made what sounded suspiciously like Ygraine's threats easy to push aside.)

** As Merlin slowly stepped into the city, her eyes widened dramatically. She gazed at the masses of people walking past her and turned in a circle, smiling widely at everything she saw.**

Gwaine snorted and shook his head fondly. "Country girl. I'll bet this is the first time she'd ever seen a place that big."

Gaius chuckled in agreement. "She had never left the boundaries of Ealdor before she came to Camelot, from what she told me."

**Soon, Merlin was walking into the main courtyard, just as the guards blew their horns. She jumped, startled, and noticed the mass of people congregated near the front of the courtyard, so she made her way towards them. When the sound of drums hit her ears, however, her steps slowed. As she pushed her way near the front of the crowd, Merlin saw a man being led onto a platform stationed just before the crowd by two guards. **

Morgana felt her breath hitch slightly. This was the first thing Merlin had seen in Camelot? The execution of a sorcerer? And yet she decided to stay? The Lady found herself thinking, _"This girl is truly mad," _before Uther's voice brought her attention back to the memory before her.

**"Let this serve as a lesson to all." Merlin tore her eyes away from the prisoner to look up at Uther, who was standing above everyone else. "This man, Thomas James Collins, is adjudged guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic." Merlin froze completely, her face paling considerably as she worked out what was happening. She swallowed harshly as Uther continued.**

** "And pursuant to the laws of Camelot, I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned on penalty of death." Merlin's face twisted into a grimace at his declaration. "I pride myself as a fair and just king-" **

There was a harsh scoff from the two sorcerers from the back of the group, and many of the knights winced slightly, not wanting to openly defy their king but not agreeing with that statement either. Morgana levelled a glare at the king that he was seemingly unaware of, as his attentions were focused on himself in Merlin's memory.

**"-but for the crime of sorcery, there is but one sentence I can pass." The view shifted then from Uther to a wall of windows, where Morgana was seen peering out and watching the proceedings. **

Morgana frowned slightly, confused as to why she was shown, since Merlin obviously did not know she was at the window that day.

**Uther nodded to the guards, and they forced Thomas onto his knees with his head on the executioner's block. A closer view of Morgana was provided, and she watched on with a heartbroken expression. Merlin watched as Uther raised his hand, waited a moment, and then dropped it. Everyone gasped as Thomas was beheaded, and Merlin could only stare in horror at the platform before her. Morgana was seen again, turning her face away from the sight of the dead man below her.**

**Uther continued to speak. "When I came to this land, this kingdom was mired in chaos."**

"That's a bloody lie and you know it Pendragon," Matai spat, glaring at the king. "Camelot, under your rule, welcomed magic with open arms." When Uther returned his glare with equal measure and stayed silent, Matai sighed harshly. "What happened, hm?" he asked. "What made you turn on us?"

Leon cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I believe that this shall give us some insight," he said lowly, eyeing the sorcerer warily, in case he decided to act against the king. Matai glanced at him, before nodding reluctantly and turning his face towards the images before them.

"**With the people's help, magic was driven from the realm. So I declare a festival, to celebrate twenty years since the Great Dragon was captured, and Camelot freed from the evil of sorcery." Uther raised his arms and looked down upon his people with a haughty expression. "Let the celebrations begin." With that, he turned towards the castle, dismissing the crowd.**

Deidre felt anger course through her veins. "Ah yes," she said tonelessly. "Nothing says celebration like a good execution." She noticed the tense of the king's shoulders, and the prince's, and was satisfied with their responses. She was brought out of her musings when a sudden wail sounded from in front of them.

**An old woman stood before the platform, staring up at Uther. The crowd had parted for her as she came forward. "There is only one evil in this land, and it is not magic," she proclaimed. "It is you!" The courtyard was now silent. "With your hatred, and your ignorance." Merlin looked on with a deeply sympathetic expression, tears shining in her eyes at the grief coloring the woman's words.**

Arthur shook his head in wonder; he hadn't been present for the execution, so he hadn't heard the things Mary Collins had said to his father, and the prince couldn't help but be somewhat fascinated with the scene playing out before him, even if his heart had clenched at the sight of Thomas's beheading.

"**You took my son!" Mary choked out, pointing to Thomas's body still on the platform. Uther stared down at her with a slightly curious face, as if wondering what this woman would do. "And I promise you," she hissed, "before these celebrations are over you will share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a son for a son." Uther's face became slightly alarmed at the threat against Arthur, and he pointed towards her.**

"**Seize her!" he bellowed. Mary clutched the pendant around her neck and whispered a spell, then vanished before them. Merlin watched in alarm as she disappeared in a gust of wind, and glanced around at everyone as they dispersed as if nothing had happened. Uther stalked away from the balcony, and Morgana ducked back into the castle, closing the window she had been peering from. **

Arthur watched in amazement as Mary Collins disappeared, replaying her words in his head. "_A son for a son." _When it happened, the prince couldn't understand why this woman wanted him dead so badly, but chalked it up to her simply being after the crown, as most magic users tended to be. But seeing it from this perspective, her actions made sense, even if they were wrong. She was a mother grieving for the loss of her son. It made sense that she would wish to hurt the man that took her son from her.

**Merlin slowly began her trek through the courtyard once more, coming face to face with a handful of guards. "Do you know where I can find Gaius, the Court Physician?" she asked politely. When one man simply grunted and pointed in the direction of Gaius's chambers, Merlin smiled brilliantly in thanks and was on her way. She went through a doorway at the end of the hallway and, upon seeing the "Court Physician" sign, made her way up a flight of stairs. The door to his chambers were open, yet Merlin knocked anyways and peeked her head in.**

Lancelot noticed Arthur's astonishment and glanced at the others, wondering if he had missed something. But the other knights were looking at the prince with the same befuddled expression he undoubtedly wore, so Lancelot cleared his throat softly. "Arthur?" he asked hesitantly. It seemed to snap the prince out of his trance, and he turned to face Gaius.

"Why does she knock for you and not me?" Gwaine guffawed at Arthur's question, and it seemed to lessen the tension amongst the group. Lancelot grinned and clapped the prince on his shoulder, turning back to the memory before them.

"**Gaius?" When she didn't receive a response, Merlin stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. "Hello?" she asked again, taking in the different vials and beakers lining the tables and the herbs hanging on the walls. Finally spotting the older man on a landing above her, she cleared her throat loudly. Gaius turned around, only to have the railing behind him completely give away.**

Many shouted in warning as they watched Gaius begin to fall, even if the man in question was standing right next to them, completely unharmed. Gaius merely shook his head in slight exasperation, remembering the conversation that came after this.

**Suddenly, Merlin's eyes flashed gold, and Gaius' decent slowed significantly. Merlin looked around the room, and she focused on the bed she found by the fireplace. Once more her eyes changed colors as the bed moved into position, and Gaius fell- right onto the bed.**

**As the physician caught his breath, Merlin let out a relieved breath, smiling slightly from where she stood. **

Deidre stared at the image of the young girl before her. "She slowed time," she muttered somewhat shakily. "Again."

"And all without uttering a single word," Matai added, still staring at Merlin's smiling form in awe.

Gwaine glanced at the two sorcerers. "Okay," he said, "so I'm assuming that's fairly powerful magic?"

Deidre giggled somewhat hysterically. "Fairly powerful indeed, especially for one as untrained in magic as Merlin is."

"But Merlin is Emrys, is she not?" Everyone turned their attentions to Percival, who hadn't taken his eyes from Merlin. "That's what you call her. If she is indeed so powerful, it shouldn't be surprising that she can do something like this." The two sorcerers contemplated Percival's statement as the memory continued.

"**What-" Gaius huffed as he sat up. "What did you just do?" Merlin startled.**

"**Uh-"**

"**Tell me!" Gaius demanded.**

**Merlin shook her head, breathing uneasily. "Um, I-I don't know what happened," she stuttered, looking at Gaius fearfully.**

**Gaius looked around the room before turning back to her. "If anyone had seen that-"**

"**No, no that-that had nothing to do with-with me." Merlin said quickly, pointing wildly at the bed. "That was-"**

"**I know what it was," Gaius interrupted. "I just want to know where you learned how to do it!"**

"Poor Merlin, she's terrified!" Gwen said, not liking the look of distress on her friend's face.

"I would be too if I was in her position," Elyan said, nudging his sister with his elbow slightly. Arthur snorted in response, glanced at the both of them.

"Personally, I wouldn't have stepped foot in Camelot in the first place." And wasn't that a shock, hearing that sentence uttered from Camelot's very prince.

** Merlin shook her head quickly. "Nowhere," she replied.**

** "So how is it that you know magic?" Gaius asked skeptically.**

** "I don't!"**

** "Where did you study?" When Merlin didn't answer, Gaius barked, "Tell me!"**

** "I-I didn't study anywhere, I've never been taught-"**

** The physician took a step towards Merlin. "Are you lying to me, boy?" **

** Merlin sighed. "What do you want me to say?" she asked softly.**

** "The truth!"**

** "I was born like this!" Merlin said helplessly. Gaius immediately shot her statement down, however, and glanced at his bed once more. **

** He suddenly turned and looked at Merlin. "Who are you?" he demanded. Merlin startled slightly at his tone and took off her pack.**

** "Oh, sorry, I have this letter," she mumbled, handing him the folded letter from her bag. Gaius looked at it, then back at Merlin.**

** "I don't have my glasses." The witch hesitated for a moment, simply looking at the man before her, before she answered.**

** "I'm Merlin."**

** Gaius raised an eyebrow.**

"Oh no," Gwaine muttered. Deidre shot him a confused look, and the knight leaned closer towards her. "It's 'The Eyebrow of Doom', Gaius' signature look. Capable of reducing even the heartiest of men into quivering puddles of fear and insecurity." The knight smiled when the pretty sorceress giggled. "Every single person here, bar you and Matai of course, have been subject to The Eyebrow at the very least once. Although," he continued, a bit louder than before, "I'm sure Princess and Merlin have been on the receiving end of The Eyebrow more than any of us combined."

Arthur scowled when he heard Deidre's failed attempts to muffle her laughter, though he couldn't deny his claims. Gaius truly seemed to use The Eyebrow on him more than seemed acceptable, though he was sure his maidservant got it worse.

**"Hunith's Merlin?" Gaius asked. Merlin smiled, relieved, and nodded enthusiastically. Gaius' brow just rose further. "Really? Because the last I saw my niece, she was most certainly a **_**she**_**." He shot a pointed look at the trousers and hair cover Merlin wore.**

** "Oh, no no no, I am her," Merlin said quickly, dropping her pack and reaching behind her head to release the cover. She pulled the red fabric off hastily, letting long locks of raven ebony hair tumble over her shoulders and down past her shoulder blades. "I assure you, I am very much female, Uncle Gaius."**

** Gaius smiled in delight at his niece. "Merlin! But you're not meant to be here until Wednesday!"**

** Merlin hesitated again, shifting slightly on her feet. "It is Wednesday," she said haltingly, not wanting to anger her guardian.**

Gaius blushed slightly under the amused looks he was receiving and glared at the snickering knights. "Wait until you are my age, and see how well your memory is," he said scathingly.

**Gaius nodded slowly. "Ah," he said. "Right then. Well you'd better put your bag in there." He pointed to the door behind him. Merlin picked up her bag and walked to the door, only to stop and turn back to Gaius.**

** "You won't say anything, about the…" she trailed off and waved her hand in the general direction of the broken railing.**

** The physician shook his head. "No." Merlin nodded once more and began to move towards her room again. "Although Merlin," Gaius called. "I should say thank you." Merlin smiled and nodded, leaving her guardian to stare at her in wonder.**

**The scene shifted, and suddenly they saw Merlin in her nightdress preparing for bed. She sat on her bed and sighed, glancing around her new room, before spotting the window behind her. She rose, stepped lightly onto the trunk placed under it, and quickly undid the latches keeping the shutter closed. When she looked out, Merlin smiled widely.**

Arthur smiled at Merlin's awed expression. Camelot shone under the moonlight, and from the few fires that lit the dark streets and the homes of the Inner City and Lower Town. It truly looked beautiful, and the prince couldn't stop the pride from filling his heart as he looked upon his kingdom from Merlin's view. What made the breath catch in his throat, however, was the sight of Merlin's serene smile as she leaned out her window, the breeze catching a few strands of hair and her porcelain skin practically glowing under the light of the moon. Her azure eyes sparkled with excitement, and Arthur thought that she had never looked more beautiful.

The smoke around them began to move again, but this time there were noticeable slivers of gold blending with the gray. Everyone glanced at the two sorcerers, confused, only to see them both frowning.

"What is it?" Arthur asked, looking between the two and trying not to panic. Matai spared him a glance, before staring intently at Deidre, who nodded slowly, still staring at the golden strands of color weaving their way into her gray smoke. Arthur huffed and repeated his question, not liking the way both sorcerers seemed to be ignoring him.

"This is not my magic working here," Deidre confessed. Before she could say any more, the smoke began to take form of another memory.

**Hunith's voice suddenly was heard, and the image of the woman writing formed before them. "My dear Gaius," she said. "I turn to you for I feel lost, and alone, and I don't know who to trust." The scene shifted once more to Gaius, who sat at his table and read the letter Hunith had sent. "It is every mother's fate to believe her child is special, and yet I would give my life that Merlin were not so."**

Leon looked upon the picture of Hunith that showed in sympathy. No person should have to raise their child in fear, knowing that with even one slip up, they both could be killed.

**"Ours is a small village, and she is so clearly at odds with the people here that, if she were to remain, I fear what would become of her." **

** The scene changed to show Merlin, asleep, using her pack as a pillow.**

** "I am sure you remember Deagan, Balinor's young nephew. He came to stay with us, and began to teach Merlin how to control her magic, as it was, and still is, impulsive. The two became rather close in his time here. However, not a month ago, Deagan and Merlin's dire wolf Caryn were brutally murdered, and displayed for Merlin to see. The loss of both her uncle and wolf nearly shattered her. She became sick with grief, and though she may seem it, Merlin is anything but healed.**

"**She needs a hand to hold, a voice that guides, someone that might help her find a purpose for her gifts. I beg you, if you understand a mother's love for her daughter, keep her safe. And may God save you both."**

** Gaius slowly folded the letter and stared at the closed door of Merlin's room, before the scene shifted once more to the sight of the executioners' block.**

"Time out!" Gwaine shouted, causing the memory to pause. "How did we just see that?" he demanded. "Obviously Merlin wasn't there to experience it, so why did we see it?"

Deidre sighed, rubbing a hand over her freckled face. "I believe that Magic is intervening here, and showing us more of this story than just what Merlin is seeing and experiencing."

"You speak of magic as if it has a mind of its own." Everyone froze at the sound of Uther's cold voice, but he simply stared at the sorceress in front of him. Deidre glared, but eventually nodded.

"In a way it does. Magic is older than man, older than Time itself. It is infused in the very earth we walk upon. Long after men are gone, and long after people cease to believe in its existence, Magic will still be here, among us."

"There are many things that the Old Religion teaches," Gaius interrupted. "And one of them is that we do not know the true extent of Magic. The Triple Goddess is said to control Magic, but some do not believe as such."

"But how-"

"I don't know," Deidre interrupted Gwaine. "But I do know that it will probably help all of us, to better understand the happenings of Merlin's experience in Camelot." The others nodded reluctantly, some still confused as to how exactly magic could be thought of as a being of its own, but the overall consensus seemed to be that they would simply ignore it for now, and just watch what was shown to them.

**~0~**

** The executioners' block was once again shown, and at the chime of a clock the scene shifted to show Morgana staring sadly down at the courtyard. Uther swept towards her, his cloak billowing behind him as he walked. **

** "Morgana," he called, gaining her attention.**

"**Yes?"**

"**What is this?" he asked. "Why are you not joining us at the feast?"**

**Morgana faced Uther. "I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for celebration," she said, ignoring Uther's sigh. "That poor mother."**

"**It was justice for what he had done-"**

"**To whom?" Morgana asked incredulously. "He practiced magic, he didn't hurt anyone!"**

"**You weren't around twenty years ago," Uther insisted. "You have no idea what it was like."**

** Morgana scoffed. "How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?"**

** "Until they realize that there is no room for magic in my kingdom," Uther replied. "You will be with me when I greet Lady Helen." His statement was more of an order than anything else, and Morgana shook her head.**

** "I told you I want no part in these celebrations-"**

** Uther strode back to her. "I am your guardian! I expect you to do as I ask." When Morgana did nothing but glare at him, he said, "If you have no respect for me, at least show some for our finest singer." With that, the king walked away. **

** As he left, Morgana shouted after him, "You know the more brutal you are, the more enemies you'll create!" No response was offered up, and the Lady turned once more to gaze on the courtyard below her. **

Uther shook his head at the scene before him, desperately trying not to listen to the nagging voice in the back of his head that Morgana was right. It was getting harder and harder to ignore as the years went on, but the king forcibly shoved the voice into a little box in the back of his mind and focused on what was happening now.

**The scene shifted to a clearing in the forest. Knights were milling about, and horses were tied and beginning to sleep on the outskirts of the camp. Three knights were standing guard outside of a large tent. The scene jumped once more to the inside of the tent, where they could see the Lady Helen sitting at her vanity, braiding her hair and humming under her breath. The sound of twigs snapping made her pause, and when the leaves rustled behind her tent she jumped, startled. **

** "Hello?" A silhouette began walking towards the tent flaps and the Lady tensed. "Gregory?" **

** The knight appeared in the tent. "My Lady," he said softly. Lady Helen sighed in relief. **

** "Is all well?" she asked.**

** Gregory nodded. "Yes ma'am," he replied. "With luck, we should reach Camelot late tomorrow."**

"Something's going to happen, isn't it?" Gwaine asked. He could see the tense set of many of his companion's shoulders, mainly the ones that have lived in Camelot all their lives. He, Elyan, Lancelot and Percival glanced at each other, confused, though Lancelot looked pensive. Before he could say anything else, however, he was shushed by Gwen and Deidre, the two women giving him identical looks that clearly said, '_Why don't you watch and see?' _

Gwaine didn't think he liked those two being friends. They would only bring him trouble, and attempt to force upon him –dare he say it– _responsibilities. _The knight shuddered at the thought. This could not be allowed to happen.

**Lady Helen smiled. "That's good." Gregory returned her smile and nodded his head.**

** "I'll be outside if you need me." With that, the knight exited her tent and returned to his post outside. However, he heard what sounded like a growl in the forest near them. As he moved towards the sound, he pulled out his sword. "Who's there?" he asked, looking around the dark forest.**

** Suddenly inside the Lady Helen's tent once more, the sound of the horses whining reached her.**

"Called it," Gwaine said, only to be smacked on the shoulder by the sorceress standing next to him.

"Shut it," she hissed, narrowing her brown eyes at him. Gwaine, wisely, remained silent.

**Branches snapped, and the Lady turned to see the shadow of a woman outside her tent. The silhouette began humming, and walked through the tent. It was the mother from the courtyard earlier that day.**

** As the Lady Helen stood slowly, Mary Collins began to hiss a spell under her breath, pulling out a dagger and a poppet from her cloak. She stabbed the dagger into the poppet's chest, causing Lady Helen to gasp and double over in pain. Twice more Mary stabbed the poppet, and after the third, Lady Helen collapsed onto her cot, eyes open and staring sightlessly at the ceiling of her tent. She was dead.**

Morgana felt an eyebrow arch, somewhat impressed with the witch she was seeing. While using poppets was a fairly simple way to channel magic, it was still powerful in its own right, though not nearly as powerful as Morgana's was. Still, the old crone had some spark of magic left still, and Morgana could not find any reason to criticize her usage.

**Mary sat at Lady Helen's vanity, whispering another spell into the necklace in her hands. Slowly, her features took on those of the dead woman. However, when she picked up a hand mirror, her reflection showed her old and withered form.**

** The scene changed to Merlin lying in bed. There was a deep rumbling sound, then a voice whispered, "Merlin." **

Arthur grew tense at the sound of the voice. "What the hell was that?" The prince looked at the two magic users present, hoping they had an answer, but both looked as baffled as he felt. Only Gaius showed any reaction other than surprise, as he sighed deeply and shook his head. "Gaius?" Arthur asked. The physician only shook his head once more and motioned to the images.

**The voice whispered her name once more, and Merlin's eyes snapped open. She glanced around her room before sitting up, seeming to take it all in. With a sigh, she swung her legs over the side of her bed and stood to get ready.**

** The scene shifted to Merlin walking down the stairs into the main chamber, tying her hair behind her head and under the same red cover from the day before. She smiled in greeting to Gaius, who only stared strangely at her. "What?" she asked.**

** "You're wearing trousers," he said.**

** Merlin glanced down at her covered legs and shrugged. "Yes, and?"**

** "I don't believe that's quite appropriate, do you?" Merlin raised a brow in what seemed to be a challenge. **

** "Well, I like them. They're far easier to work in, not to mention move. Also, these are all I have at the moment, so it's either this or walk around Camelot starkers, and I don't think anyone wants that."**

Gwaine barked out a laugh, admiring his friend's bluntness. Lancelot and Elyan stifled chuckles of their own, happy to see some typical Merlin behavior in the midst of all the craziness. It was good to know that some things didn't change.

**Gaius huffed and pointed to a bucket of water on the edge of the table. "I got you some water. You didn't wash last night." Merlin mumbled and apology and sat down, eyeing the bowl of food that was set down in front of her. "Help yourself to breakfast," Gaius said. Merlin nodded absently as she picked up the spoon, watching the food plop back into the bowl before shrugging and taking a bite.**

** Gaius eyed the girl sitting beside him, and purposefully knocked over the bucket of water. Instantly, Merlin looked over and her eyes flashed, making the water freeze in midair. At the sound of Gaius' gasp however, she let the water and bucket fall to the floor.**

"Gaius you sly old man," Gwaine muttered, preening when he heard Deidre snicker beside him.

**"What did you do?" the physician asked. "Did you…incant a spell in your head?"**

** Merlin shook her head rapidly. "No-I don't know any spells," she insisted.**

** "Well then what did you do? There must be something!"**

** Merlin sighed. "It just happens," she told him despondently. She grabbed the mop from a corner in the room and began cleaning up the mess.**

** Gaius shook his head. "Well, we'd better keep you out of trouble," he mumbled. "You can help me until I find you some paid work for you. Here," he handed Merlin a leather pouch. "Hollyhock and feverfew for Lady Percival, and this," he handed her a small vial next, "is for Sir Olwen. He's blind as a weevil so warn him not to take it all at once." With her mumbled assurance, Gaius held out a sandwich plate to her. Merlin smiled warmly at the man before shoving it in her mouth and rushing to the door.**

** "And Merlin!" She stopped and turned at the sound of her name. "I need hardly tell you that the practice of any form of enchantments will get you killed," Gaius said gravely. The girl nodded once more and finally turned out of the room.**

** Merlin glanced around the city once more as she walked towards her delivery sites, all the while munching on her sandwich. When she found the room she was looking for, she hastily swallowed and knocked on the door. An old, shriveled looking man opened it.**

** Merlin smiled kindly. "Hi. I've brought you your medicine." Sir Olwen held out his hand and Merlin clasped it in his fingers. She turned to leave, but stopped and faced him again. "Oh, Gaius said not to drink it…all…" She trailed off as she watched him gulp down the entire potion in one go. As he was smacking his lips, Merlin simply shook her head helplessly. "I-I'm sure it's fine."**

A loud groan from Gaius caused many in the group to erupt into snickers. The old man really shouldn't be surprised at this point.

**Merlin was seen walking through the courtyard again, leading into town, but she started to slow at the sound of a drolling voice. "Where is the target?"**

Arthur sucked in a breath, feeling everyone's eyes on him as the undoubtedly recognized his voice. Gaius groaned as well, muttering about "foolish, insolent girls."

Lancelot chuckled. '_I've heard this story from Merlin before, and Guinevere. I wonder if it's any more entertaining to watch that it was to hear it,' _he thought.

**Merlin came to a halt as she watched the scene play out before her. Arthur was standing with a group of knights across from her, and a servant stood in front of her. "There, sir?" the servant answered. **

** Arthur shook his head. "It's aimed at the sun." The servant glanced at the sky and shook his head.**

** "It's not that bright," he said.**

** "Oh, a bit like you then," Arthur snarked. The servant sighed as the knights laughed.**

** "I'll put the target on the other end." He picked up the large wooden target and started to move across the small area.**

** Arthur turned to face the knights and said, "This'll teach him." Merlin raised a brow and put crossed her arms over her chest, waiting to see what he would do.**

Percival turned to Leon, who stood beside him. "This isn't going to end well, is it?" he asked. Elyan, who heard the question, chortled and shook his head. Leon's sigh of deep suffering didn't raise Percival's hope either.

**Suddenly, Arthur threw a knife, hitting the target's center. Merlin let both brows climb on her forehead, not believing what she just saw.**

** The servant looked at the knife and back at Arthur. "Hey, hang on!" he exclaimed. Arthur simply laughed and picked up another knife.**

** "Well don't stop," he said. Merlin's eyes narrowed as she watched him continue to throw knives at the running servant. The scene shifted briefly to see Guinevere shaking a cloak out from a window, though she too was watching the courtyard and frowning in anger.**

Matai whistled. "You know Prince Arthur, from what I'm seeing, it's hard to understand why she has so much faith in you," he sneered, causing Arthur to tense once more. However, Gwen turned a sharp look onto the sorcerer.

"I will be the last to deny that Arthur was a rude and arrogant man before Merlin came along. But he has become a great man, and he will be a great king. You said you wanted her memories to understand why she was loyal to him, is that correct?" At Matai's reluctant nod, Gwen pushed on. "Then how can you pass judgement simply on what you've seen now? I suggest you wait until the end of this, and then tell us what kind of man you believe Arthur to be."

Arthur's heart swelled at Gwen's support, and he gave her a smile of appreciation. The sorcerer simply cleared his throat and nodded on consent, not meeting the prince's eye as they turned back to watch.

**The servant suddenly tripped, and he ducked behind the target to ensure that he wasn't hit by stray daggers. The target rolled and came to a stop under Merlin's boot. She smiled down at the boy and held out a hand to help him off the ground, which he gratefully took. Her friendly smile became slightly strained as she turned to face Arthur and his men.**

** "Hey," she said. "Come on, that's enough."**

** Arthur looked appalled at her. "What?" he demanded.**

** "You've had your fun my friend," Merlin said.**

** Arthur began walking towards her, making a thoughtful face. "Do I know you?" he asked. Merlin shook her head and held out her hand.**

** "No, I'm Merlin-"**

** "So I don't know you," Arthur interrupted, completely disregarding the hand. Merlin's smile fell flat.**

** "No-"**

** "Yet you called me…'friend'." **

Arthur winced at the sight of his appalling behavior. _'Gods, I really was a prat.' _

**Merlin glared at the man across from her. "That was my mistake," she snipped.**

** "Yes, I think so," Arthur said, smiling condescendingly at her.**

_**'This pompous arsehole.'**_

When Merlin's thought sounded around the group, Gwaine doubled over in laughter, especially after seeing Arthur and Uther's flabbergasted expressions.

**"Yeah," Merlin said. "I'd never have a friend who could be such an ass."**

"What the hell was that crash?" Elyan asked.

"That, Sir Elyan, was Sir Gwaine collapsing," Gaius deadpanned, not even moving to help the hysterical knight back up. Deidre and Gwen were stifling their giggles at the sight of the knight between them, who was gasping for breath, while Morgana tried to smother a smile of her own at Merlin's responses. She really was a firecracker, and, before she tried to kill her, Morgana had appreciated the way Merlin hardly seemed to care what she said in front of nobles. It was refreshing to see.

**Merlin turned and began to walk away, but the sound of Arthur's laugh had her halting. "Nor I one who could be so stupid," he said. Merlin rolled her eyes and turned to face the advancing prince. "Tell me **_**Mer**_**lin, do you know how to walk on your knees?" he asked.**

** "No," came Merlin's terse response.**

** Arthur took a step closer, and Merlin's entire body tensed. "Would you like me to help you?"**

** "I wouldn't if I were you." Arthur paused momentarily at the tone of her voice, which was practically dripping with warning, but he ignored it as he took yet another step closer.**

** "Why?" he demanded arrogantly. "What are you going to do to me?"**

** Merlin met his gaze steadily, her once warm eyes now steely. "You have no idea," she said lowly, looking prepared to attack Arthur if need be.**

Lancelot glanced at Arthur. "She looks like she's going to hurt you," he said, obviously wanting to know why his friend didn't heed her warnings. Arthur nodded in agreement, not taking his eyes off the now paused image in front of him.

"I remember being wary of her at first, and then simply pushing it aside. At the time, all I saw was a peasant who had to nerve to stand up to me. Obviously I didn't know she had magic," he stuttered slightly on the word, and hoped that Lancelot didn't notice. "Hell, I didn't even know she _was_ a she then." Arthur shook his head slowly. "Merlin definitely surprised me those first days, that's for sure."

Lancelot did notice the slip, but he chose not to acknowledge it. He understood that Arthur was still struggling to come to terms with the fact that the woman he thought of as his best friend, the woman he loved, was hiding something this monumental from him for nearly five years now. However, the knight was pleased to know that while he was not entirely comfortable with the knowledge, he at least didn't seem angry anymore, and Lancelot counted that as progress.

**Arthur scoffed and grinned mockingly at her. "Be my guest!" He spread his arms and took a small step back, giving Merlin an opening to his torso. When Merlin just eyed him warily, Arthur began goading her. "Come on! Come on!" Merlin sighed softly and, slowly, swung her right arm in a lazy punch aimed for his face. When Arthur easily blocked, suddenly Merlin brought her left arm up and drove it into his stomach, causing Arthur to double over. She twisted out of his now slack hold and turned once more to leave, but he swiftly regained his breath and grabbed her once more, twisting her arm harshly behind her back.**

"Atta girl," Gwaine muttered, glaring at the back of Arthur's head at the sight of Merlin's pain-twisted features before him.

** He ignored her grunts of pain as he leaned closer to her ear. "I can throw you in jail for that," he muttered angrily.**

** Merlin growled, "And who do you think you are, the king?"**

** "No, I'm his son." Merlin's eyes widened in shock as she stilled completely. "Arthur." The witch let her eyes shut and her head hang as she realized the gravity of her situation.**

** "Ah, dammit," she muttered, before she was shoved into the waiting hands of the guards that the prince had summoned. **

The images slowly began disappearing in a swirl of black and gold tendrils of smoke, and everyone stood, waiting for the new ones to begin.

**~0~**

**Alrighty guys, that's it for this chapter! Hopefully I'll be better with the next update, but I honestly don't know how my schedule will play out. Until next time!**


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